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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What would YOU do?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

Backstory: A couple of years ago, my husband and I had some issues and separated for a while. During that time, I met someone else (as did my husband) however, I got pregnant.

During the entire course of my pregnancy, my husband was there for me. While he didn't go to my doctor's appointments with me, he did help out a lot with our son (this was before we had a support order). He helped me out too with taking me to the grocery or to my doctor appointments when he could.

Fast forward to my daughter's birth, he was there. He brought us home from the hospital, he woke up with her the first night we were home. This is the only dad she's known.

Husband's name is on the BC, even though there is a case for support from the biological father. He has never filed to have the birth certificate changed or for visitation.

My Dilemma: during one of my many prenatal appointments, I happened to pick up a pamphlet about the state "black book" registry for men who think they may have fathered a child. In the pamphlet it states that if there is a year of no contact between the parents regarding the child, in the State's eyes, they no longer have any parental rights. My husband's biggest worry is that should something happen to me, my daughter will be given to her Sperm Donor, even though DH has been around all her life.

Sperm Donor has had no contact with me regarding my daughter. He has never paid a cent in support, except when the IRS took his wife's income tax to pay his support orders. (He has 2 other kids, whom he actually does pay some support for). He keeps refusing the letters from my support order, stating he doesn't live there. He refuses to work, and doesn't have a license. 

It seems the CSEA doesn't seem that interested in making sure he pays, and I don't know what to do or say to kick their butts into gear and MAKE them do something. I don't know if moving the case to the county I currently live in is a possibility, or how to go about making him be charged with contempt. 

Any tips/suggestions are greatly appreciated. I just don't know what else to do.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 29, 2013 at 1:40 AM
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Replies (1-6):
proudmama11212
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 1:44 AM
So you put child support on as you said sperm donor?!
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MixedCooke
by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:02 AM

send him a letter to give up his parental right and have your hubby adopt her then if something does happen to you, she will still stay with him.

QueenBof6
by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:05 AM
This

Quoting MixedCooke:

send him a letter to give up his parental right and have your hubby adopt her then if something does happen to you, she will still stay with him.

lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:09 AM
If your husbands name is on the bc, then he is legally her father. The only way that would be amended is if your sperm donor paid for a paternity test to prove he was the bio father. Sounds like you don't have much to worry about.
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lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:10 AM
Oh wait. There is a case for support? What?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:13 PM

There is a case for support, however, her biological father refuses to pay. Whenever the CSEA sends him a letter, he and his wife state that he doesn't live there, however, he also has a case for his other 2 children that he randomly does pay for and accepts the mail for that CSEA. 

My husband has always provided for her. Even when we were separated he would make sure that I had everything I needed for her (diapers, clothing, etc) in addition to the support he paid for our son. 

What I'm really trying to figure out is how to go about getting the CSEA on the ball to hold him in contempt. As of now, he's currently $4507.00 behind in support.

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