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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

they can't take my son can they? pics update #2!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I was lurking around a troll post last night and our situations were identical. I'm divorced with an 8yo DS living with my mom and dog in a camper.

So while browsing the comments, someone said she could have her son taken away for living in that situation. Then poof.

Here's our situation.

Xdh and i divorced while i was pregnant. He wants nothing to do with Ds and that's fine. I don't get cs and he isn't on the birth certificate.

I make 650 a month and only have 200 to pay for gas, laundry, groceries and toiletries. We suck at budgeting so something usually ends up not being purchased (gas, lotion, cell phone... Stuff like that). Any tips?

I spend maybe 20 bucks a month on the dog. My mother used to be a professional groomer so she handles the grooming and we buy his food in bulk. His vet bills are usually free.

We don't get fs because I'm afraid they'll take my ds. I don't want to stay in the ghetto (raised there and living where we live for a fee us much better).

Mom is the one to take care of ds if I'm working overtime (i work from 6am to 6pm regular hours). She picks him up and drops him off at school and if I'm too tired, she helps him with homework.

Everything is usually done on a schedule so no one is late.

I'm Showered and out of the house by 5:30. My mother drops me off and she makes it home at 6. she showers at 6 and has ds up, showered and out of the house by 7:30. Then she cleans and looks for work. I doubt she'll find anything because of her age. I told her i wanted her to start couponing or grooming dogs from the camper and she agreed.

i start a teaching job in August btw.

I just want to know if my son can be taken away? My sister said that she would call cps on me if I'm not able to provide for my son. Can she take him? And ask for budgeting tips until i can work.


Pictures in reply.


Update:

I would like to personally thank you women for easing my mind.

So lets address a few common questions:
I work a rotation schedule with two other people and i do not make min. wage. I know what they're doing is wrong but it's the only job i was able to get. My hours posted were just average hours that I often work.

This weeks schedule:
Monday - 6am to 7pm
Tuesday - Wednesday no work
Thursday - 6am - 4pm
Friday - 6am - 1pm
Saturday - Sunday - no work I rarely work on Sundays unless i request to be on the bathroom clean up crew. Most Sundays are usually when they request workers because must of the crew I'd at church. I got the job through church and we attend church every Sunday.

Today, my mother and I got a pullout couch free on craigslist. We are donating the old one. We vacuumed the entire thing, cleaned it and sprayed it to smell good. We are giving him the bedroom and putting the smaller TV in his room.

I spent twenty dollars on his new bedding with his favorite character on there (Batman) with the matching pillows and put little posters everywhere and put his personal DVD collection in there. My mom and I are sharing the pullout couch. I put a feather top thing for my mothers comfort.

Mom found a free DVD player (the small portable ones). It had a cracked screen but the plugs still worked so we just plugged it into the smaller TV.

He'll be here in ten minutes and I'm excited. We're going to play monudo(homemade board game) and surprise him after dinner.

Update 10pm:
We cooked a stretch meal (meaning it lasts a few days). It was grilled chicken cubed, sauteed onions and green bell peppers with white rice. It's ds' favorite meal. So anyway after that, we helped him with his homework and watched Batman beyond on DVD while we played monudo(it's basically the Sims in board game form). At 8, my mom and I did the big reveal. He was soooooooooo happy! He loved it and wanted his alone time to watch the Batman beyond movie. My mom and I are watching the golden girls box set and i just feel soo happy!

Update #2
I was not able to go to go through all of the replies because my mother and I cleaned the church for 250. Its a large church.
I saw a few replies telling me to get cs and fs
Ex husband was physically and verbally abusive and spiteful. So no. I'm not going to file for child support because he'll try and take my son from me. I'll die before I allow my son to grow up with that monster.

My mother is planning on filing for fs tomorrow.

Someone said ds would love watching real TV. Ds is perfectly fine with watching DVDs. We have a large collection of DVDs (movies and entire series of shows). He have the entire fox cartoon specials thing (family guy, Simpsons, Cleveland show, Bobs burgers and American dad) as well a many other cartoon and regular shows/movies so in sure he'll be fine.

The church has free school supplies for him (crayons, makers, pencils, etc.). We've traded in all of his winter clothes for summer (shorts, sorry sleeve t-shirts, etc.) and they even have us a free pair of shirts which we throughly washed.

The air conditioner is hooked up and working amazingly. I now have enough money for my mom (she's actually 64) to buy cooler clothes in a few days. I might buy a new outfit if we have enough after grocery.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Replies (581-590):
ZoZosMoma
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:44 PM
I saw some people saying that it's illegal for an 8 year old to be left home alone & since in my state we don't have a limit set on it I checked for Illinois one website said that legally it's 14 years old another said 12. But the one you should try is Illinoislegalaid.org I ccouldn't get on it at the time for some reason but give it a go just so you know in case your sister tries pulling some underhanded shit & goes there when your mom brings you to work & calls them or some crap because from what you've said she seems the type no offense. Also do the money journal thing that someone suggested I'm going to start one too and food stamps or SNAP as it's called here is a good way to get help with food so you don't have to stress too much about that & some of the money you save from that could go towards your clothes for your new job or presents for your son tho I don't see anything wrong w/homemade gifts I think sometimes they're better or DIY parties or to getting a house/apartment or a ssecond car you know whatever you NEED & I stress need lol like you don't know the difference anyhow best of luck to you and yours!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 1, 2013 at 12:03 AM
1 mom liked this
In my position at work, I work closely with DHS. (child protective services) In my experience, they take children away for abuse, neglect, and extremely poor living conditions. (Unsanitary/unlivable conditions not based on whether you are in a camper or an apartment)

Some people choose to live in an RV like the picture you posted and travel the country with their kids and some people co-sleep with their kids until 6. (or longer) If DHS starts taking children for different lifestyle choices or because you can't afford a certain type of home, A LOT of children would be in state custody. Given their limited budget and high caseloads, I don't think that is the goal. As long as your son is safe, has a warm bed, and a roof over his head I wouldn't worry too much. And if resources like food stamps would help you get on your feet, access them for your son. DHS does not do random checks on people who use resources. They only go out to check if someone calls with a concern.
mommabear1038
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2013 at 12:03 AM
OP::: there are ppl all over in homeless shelters with custody of their children. ..and ive personally seen families with young children having to eat at the soup kitchen. There are tons of woman AND childrens drug rehabs where the mom has her children there with her while she recovers. ..and there are tons more examples of situations that are considered"worse" than yours.the camper is clean, it keeps him safe/warm/showered etc.think of the thousands++ of families living in trailer parks.i am willing to bet that somewhere on earth there are teachers, cps workers, nurses etc that were raised in trailers and/or raising/have raised children in a trailer.my parents have a home but they also have a camper at a camp site year round. And I must say that their camper is hooked up!!!! So a camper is NOT A STRIKE against you. And WHAT DO YOU THINK F.S ARE FOR??,, for mainly parents like u.trying to get by in todays economy and could use a little help.its applaudable if anything. Not trying to mooch off of the state. Etc.state help is meant for ppl like u .vs. someone who doesn't wanna work, trades f.s. in for beer etc..and now that u and ur mom did the selfless thing by giving ur son his own space u r even better off.be damn proud.also have u or ur mom actually been able to do any couponing? That helps a ton.if u r as humble and trying of a person as u seem then hun trust us all...he cannot get taken. Cps WANTS to keep families United. They aren't all bad . intimidating, yes.. but if anything if they were called, what they do in cases that arent violent/unsafe/etc is they help u better ur situation. Ive known them to bring "clients" (u) to dss to apply for f.s, ive seen them pay for a woman I know her rent for 2 months in a sober house. Ive seen them drop off strollers and bags of clothes and food vouchers etc.so they work with some very needy, unstable, disfunctional families filled with drugs, sexual abuse etc.GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK&A PAT ON THE BACK :)
Candacelee85
by on May. 1, 2013 at 12:05 AM
No they won't just take him away and when you sign up for foodstamps they don't just call cps. Ur fine and your doing such a great job keep it up
luckylinda2013
by on May. 1, 2013 at 12:27 AM

If it is the camper trailer you're living in that makes you think they will take him, I don't think you have any worries, at least in TX you wouldn't.  As for FS, here, they don't ask what you live in, just for your address, and no, they would not take your child or deny your case.  You need them, so apply.  Good Luck!

raven1114
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2013 at 12:36 AM

OP, what size clothes do you wear? I may have some clothes here that would look nice for interviews and teaching jobs. (Blazars, slacks, etc) that I wouldn't mind sending you if you can use them.

dark_xiii_angel
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Very nice!!! It looks nicer and larger than a lot of regular trailers people live in around here!!

Quoting hp2011:

That's a nice ass camper !
kayceejane
by Member on May. 1, 2013 at 12:55 AM

You can likely get food stamps, health insurance, possibly cash assistance and VERY LIKELY there are tons of programs locally for moms in your situation to help you with college grants and stuff to better yourself.

lady-t3984
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 12:57 AM

I applaud you and your mom for how you are trying so hard to keep a roof over your son head. I have seen women post pictures of big gorgeƓus houses,but the inside of the house is dirty,and nasty.Your trailer is clean,and look very comfy. I don't know who told you your child could be taken away,but ignore ignorant people.

lady-t3984
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 1:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting raven1114:

OP, what size clothes do you wear? I may have some clothes here that would look nice for interviews and teaching jobs. (Blazars, slacks, etc) that I wouldn't mind sending you if you can use them.

That's so nice of you! I would like to help too,it's something about OP that's really getting.to my heart

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