Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

they can't take my son can they? pics update #2!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I was lurking around a troll post last night and our situations were identical. I'm divorced with an 8yo DS living with my mom and dog in a camper.

So while browsing the comments, someone said she could have her son taken away for living in that situation. Then poof.

Here's our situation.

Xdh and i divorced while i was pregnant. He wants nothing to do with Ds and that's fine. I don't get cs and he isn't on the birth certificate.

I make 650 a month and only have 200 to pay for gas, laundry, groceries and toiletries. We suck at budgeting so something usually ends up not being purchased (gas, lotion, cell phone... Stuff like that). Any tips?

I spend maybe 20 bucks a month on the dog. My mother used to be a professional groomer so she handles the grooming and we buy his food in bulk. His vet bills are usually free.

We don't get fs because I'm afraid they'll take my ds. I don't want to stay in the ghetto (raised there and living where we live for a fee us much better).

Mom is the one to take care of ds if I'm working overtime (i work from 6am to 6pm regular hours). She picks him up and drops him off at school and if I'm too tired, she helps him with homework.

Everything is usually done on a schedule so no one is late.

I'm Showered and out of the house by 5:30. My mother drops me off and she makes it home at 6. she showers at 6 and has ds up, showered and out of the house by 7:30. Then she cleans and looks for work. I doubt she'll find anything because of her age. I told her i wanted her to start couponing or grooming dogs from the camper and she agreed.

i start a teaching job in August btw.

I just want to know if my son can be taken away? My sister said that she would call cps on me if I'm not able to provide for my son. Can she take him? And ask for budgeting tips until i can work.


Pictures in reply.


Update:

I would like to personally thank you women for easing my mind.

So lets address a few common questions:
I work a rotation schedule with two other people and i do not make min. wage. I know what they're doing is wrong but it's the only job i was able to get. My hours posted were just average hours that I often work.

This weeks schedule:
Monday - 6am to 7pm
Tuesday - Wednesday no work
Thursday - 6am - 4pm
Friday - 6am - 1pm
Saturday - Sunday - no work I rarely work on Sundays unless i request to be on the bathroom clean up crew. Most Sundays are usually when they request workers because must of the crew I'd at church. I got the job through church and we attend church every Sunday.

Today, my mother and I got a pullout couch free on craigslist. We are donating the old one. We vacuumed the entire thing, cleaned it and sprayed it to smell good. We are giving him the bedroom and putting the smaller TV in his room.

I spent twenty dollars on his new bedding with his favorite character on there (Batman) with the matching pillows and put little posters everywhere and put his personal DVD collection in there. My mom and I are sharing the pullout couch. I put a feather top thing for my mothers comfort.

Mom found a free DVD player (the small portable ones). It had a cracked screen but the plugs still worked so we just plugged it into the smaller TV.

He'll be here in ten minutes and I'm excited. We're going to play monudo(homemade board game) and surprise him after dinner.

Update 10pm:
We cooked a stretch meal (meaning it lasts a few days). It was grilled chicken cubed, sauteed onions and green bell peppers with white rice. It's ds' favorite meal. So anyway after that, we helped him with his homework and watched Batman beyond on DVD while we played monudo(it's basically the Sims in board game form). At 8, my mom and I did the big reveal. He was soooooooooo happy! He loved it and wanted his alone time to watch the Batman beyond movie. My mom and I are watching the golden girls box set and i just feel soo happy!

Update #2
I was not able to go to go through all of the replies because my mother and I cleaned the church for 250. Its a large church.
I saw a few replies telling me to get cs and fs
Ex husband was physically and verbally abusive and spiteful. So no. I'm not going to file for child support because he'll try and take my son from me. I'll die before I allow my son to grow up with that monster.

My mother is planning on filing for fs tomorrow.

Someone said ds would love watching real TV. Ds is perfectly fine with watching DVDs. We have a large collection of DVDs (movies and entire series of shows). He have the entire fox cartoon specials thing (family guy, Simpsons, Cleveland show, Bobs burgers and American dad) as well a many other cartoon and regular shows/movies so in sure he'll be fine.

The church has free school supplies for him (crayons, makers, pencils, etc.). We've traded in all of his winter clothes for summer (shorts, sorry sleeve t-shirts, etc.) and they even have us a free pair of shirts which we throughly washed.

The air conditioner is hooked up and working amazingly. I now have enough money for my mom (she's actually 64) to buy cooler clothes in a few days. I might buy a new outfit if we have enough after grocery.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Replies (41-50):
Jessicamarquez
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:22 PM
Seriously your fine get help you need it your doing a great job momma!
acrogodess
by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:22 PM

His basic needs are being met. No they would not take him. If they don't take kids from homeless families entering a shelter, why would they take him from you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:23 PM
2 moms liked this

No, you have shown no reason for a child to be taken away. Even if the child does not have his own space, his own room, his own bed, he will not be taken away. Children are taken away if they are being abused physically or sexually or not given the minimal level of care - food, water, clothing are the base as well as the caregivers ability to provide a safe home. Education, medical care, and emotional attachments are considerations as well. 

I don't know every detail of your life but what you've shown us is fine. And if you need to know know how I know, it's because I'm a volunteer child advocate. I come into the picture after the child has already been taken away but I am able to give my opinion on what placement is appropriate for children. I also work as a juvenile intake officer. Sometimes I have to take children away from their parents. It's heartbreaking.

ETA: I also recommend you go to SRS and ask for help. Food stamps, medical card for your son, and ask them to help you get child support. Even if the boy's father has nothing to do with him he still helped make him and should help pay for the things he needs. That's for his good, not yours. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:24 PM
I wanted to make the livingroom his and my mother and i can share the bedroom. I've been saving up for a laptop for work and buy ds some new DVDs

Quoting firespurity:

he needs a bed or futon, that he can sleep in alone. That's the only thing that could even be reportable on this situation. They generally don't care if they don't use the bed, as long as it's available to the child.



Quoting Anonymous:

I wanted to make the bedroom comfortable for him and my mom but we couldn't afford it so i just got my mothers old comforter





Quoting firespurity:

I'm not sure, I do think he needs a sleeping space dedicated to him, even if he doesn't use it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:26 PM
I get his clothes from goodwill and salvation army.

Quoting Anonymous:

No, you have shown no reason for a child to be taken away. Even if the child does not have his own space, his own room, his own bed, he will not be taken away. Children are taken away if they are being abused physically or sexually or not given the minimal level of care - food, water, clothing are the base as well as the caregivers ability to provide a safe home. Education, medical care, and emotional attachments are considerations as well. 

I don't know every detail of your life but what you've shown us is fine. And if you need to know know how I know, it's because I'm a volunteer child advocate. I come into the picture after the child has already been taken away but I am able to give my opinion on what placement is appropriate for children. I also work as a juvenile intake officer. Sometimes I have to take children away from their parents. It's heartbreaking.

ETA: I also recommend you go to SRS and ask for help. Food stamps, medical card for your son, and ask them to help you get child support. Even if the boy's father has nothing to do with him he still helped make him and should help pay for the things he needs. That's for his good, not yours. 

katemckenzie
by Kate on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:26 PM
A camper that size is no smaller than a trailer home, and kids get to stay in those, even when they're trashed. I'd live in that camper, for sure. It looks really nice.
firespurity
by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:27 PM
Even if someone called about him not having his own bed, they'd just tell you to make him a space. They wouldn't remove him over that. I would just work on getting that taken care of for now. And anything that improves your lives is a plus. Hopefully things improve soon.

Quoting Anonymous:

I wanted to make the livingroom his and my mother and i can share the bedroom. I've been saving up for a laptop for work and buy ds some new DVDs



Quoting firespurity:

he needs a bed or futon, that he can sleep in alone. That's the only thing that could even be reportable on this situation. They generally don't care if they don't use the bed, as long as it's available to the child.





Quoting Anonymous:

I wanted to make the bedroom comfortable for him and my mom but we couldn't afford it so i just got my mothers old comforter







Quoting firespurity:

I'm not sure, I do think he needs a sleeping space dedicated to him, even if he doesn't use it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:29 PM
Thank you. It's been a hard few years

Quoting firespurity:

Even if someone called about him not having his own bed, they'd just tell you to make him a space. They wouldn't remove him over that. I would just work on getting that taken care of for now. And anything that improves your lives is a plus. Hopefully things improve soon.



Quoting Anonymous:

I wanted to make the livingroom his and my mother and i can share the bedroom. I've been saving up for a laptop for work and buy ds some new DVDs





Quoting firespurity:

he needs a bed or futon, that he can sleep in alone. That's the only thing that could even be reportable on this situation. They generally don't care if they don't use the bed, as long as it's available to the child.







Quoting Anonymous:

I wanted to make the bedroom comfortable for him and my mom but we couldn't afford it so i just got my mothers old comforter









Quoting firespurity:

I'm not sure, I do think he needs a sleeping space dedicated to him, even if he doesn't use it.
Pink.Frosting
by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:30 PM

I doubt it.  That is a huge and awesome camper by the way.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:31 PM
2 moms liked this
Thank you. we furnished it from the free section on craigslist. My mom tried her best to make it "homey"

Quoting katemckenzie:

A camper that size is no smaller than a trailer home, and kids get to stay in those, even when they're trashed. I'd live in that camper, for sure. It looks really nice.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)