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Really, you would rather your kid have sex in a car then at home
Posted by Anonymous
- 274 Replies
13 moms liked this
Now, I am not talking about 12-15 year olds but if you know your 16-18 year old is having sex why would you want them to sneak around, have sex in cars and risk getting arrested, or not have the proper things to protect themselves? When I was in high school, most of the kids who had sex and didn't use both birth control and condoms didn't use them because they couldn't get them without their parents knowing. Yes, they could ge buy them but they were afraid their parents would find them. How stupid is that? My kids are 13,. 16 and 19 and my 16 year old DD has sex with her boyfriend in her room, my 19 year old son has had sex with 2 girlfriends in his room (different times, both long term relationships). Instead of making them feel like they have to sneak around, I teach them manners about it. Don't flaunt it (I don't want to hear screaming and moaning, just like they don't want to hear that from mine and their dad's room) and be as safe as you can be. My kids all know they can come and talk to me because they know that what they are feeling is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
My son knows that even if a girl is actually on the pill as she says she is, it is easy to forget so he should always use a condom, and he does.
I understand that people parent differently but please understand that your refusal to deal with the fact that your kids may want to or are having sex will not stop them from having sex. But if you help them to protect themselves and have honest and open communication with them about it, you can stop them from having to deal with having sex too young, STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
Sorry, I just had a conversation with a mother of my DD's friend and the way she talked about teen sex blew my mind. She is one of those parents who thinks that if she doesn't talk to her child about having sex and protecting herself, she won't have sex. Meanwhile, this girl has been having sex with her boyfriend for over 6 months. I know because she talked to me about it. Of course I didn't tell the mom
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by
Meow
on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:27 AM
26 moms liked this
so why do teenagers need to be having sex? Perhaps instead of them doing it in your home you should ask them to own up to their maturity and get their own place and hump away.
by
Ruby Member
on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:29 AM
57 moms liked this
Because I refuse to lower my expectations of my children to the lowest common denominator.
Feelings are natural and normal, behavior has consequences. Rather than teach my kids that I have no trust in their ability to control themselves, I'd rather teach them they CAN control themselves and that is the expectation while they live in my home.
by
Bronze Member
on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:31 AM
14 moms liked this
I would rather they weren't doing it at all. My home is not a brothel. If they are old enough to engage in adult behavior they are old enough to get the necessary items. By not allowing a free for all sex scene in my home does not mean they have an excuse for not using the knowledge they have been given. For me its a respect thing. I did not and have not had sex in my parents home. My dh even slept on the sofa at my parents home until we were married even though we were living together at the time.
Posted via mobile.cafemom.com
by Anonymous - Original Poster
on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:34 AM
3 moms liked this
At 16? The problem is biology and the society we live in are at odds with each other. They are biologically ready for sex by 15 but in our society, most people don't get married or are ready for children until their mid 20s at least.
I am not saying it is ideal, if it were up to me, my kids would be virgins, steady in their careers and ready for babies on their wedding nights but that doesn't happen in most cases. So I would rather my kids have sex in our home, discreetly with the protection they need then get arrested for having sex in a car.
Quoting thetrollcat:so why do teenagers need to be having sex? Perhaps instead of them doing it in your home you should ask them to own up to their maturity and get their own place and hump away.
by
Meow
on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:36 AM
17 moms liked this
I love enabling parents.... But its a hell no in my house I dont give a damn. This is MY HOUSE, Im married they are not. If they want to play hanky panky then save up your funds and get a hotel.
Quoting Anonymous:At 16? The problem is biology and the society we live in are at odds with each other. They are biologically ready for sex by 15 but in our society, most people don't get married or are ready for children until their mid 20s at least.
I am not saying it is ideal, if it were up to me, my kids would be virgins, steady in their careers and ready for babies on their wedding nights but that doesn't happen in most cases. So I would rather my kids have sex in our home, discreetly with the protection they need then get arrested for having sex in a car.
Quoting thetrollcat:so why do teenagers need to be having sex? Perhaps instead of them doing it in your home you should ask them to own up to their maturity and get their own place and hump away.
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