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Why does everyone seem to think all SAHMs are on assistance or can't afford it?

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:53 AM
  • 300 Replies
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It seems that a lot of people on here think that the vast majority of families with a SAHM or SAHD are on government assistance of some kind or otherwise are barely affording to make ends meet on one income. I personally don't know any SAHPs where this is the case. So I'm curious, are there really that many parents who stay at home but can't afford it? To WMs and SAHMs both- what is your definition of being "able to afford" having one parent home?

DISCLAIMER: this is NOT another mommy wars post... if you're intent is to bash one side or the other, please do not comment. I'm just genuinely curious.

by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CMcLaws
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:55 AM
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I wasn't a sahm until my husband's job alone was able to provide enough money to pay all the bills and have some left over for savings. We have never been on any sort of pa.
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christina0607
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:56 AM
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I've been on this site since it started...and I've never seen that as consensus of the masses. 

I'm not really sure why you think that?

AntzMom24
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't know any SAHM's that are on any kind of assistance. The ones I know that stay at home do because they can afford it. It's the working moms that need the assistance. Sad, but true. I have noticed that SAHM's are more judgmental here than I have ever witnessed in real life. My friends that are SAHM's are amazing women who I love dearly. Here, not so much...

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Not all do.
smorgan865
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:01 AM
DH and I have nearly the same income, so if one of us stopped working we'd literally have half the money we do now. It just doesn't cover the bare minimum if our bills. We are quite strict on our money spending so it's not that we are being frivolous.

We tried to crunch numbers after DS1 was born and it was too unrealistic of a cut. We don't want to live paycheck to paycheck, penny to penny. We enjoy our comfort, and want to have the option of family vacations and experiences. So we both work.

It works for us, so that is what matters to us!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:02 AM
Well. My husband was a sahd for about 6yrs due to his injuries. During that time my job supported us. He did get in disability finally but only for 2yrs and he is now back at work. I am planning on quitting to be a sahm. But here are our requirements:
$15k in savings
$40k in an easy to access investment
No debt (other than 2 mortgages)
Both cars in good running condition (just need tires)
New mattress (because we'll need one in the next year or so)
Medical coverage for everyone
Being able to live of his income without pa and put a little aside

I will still go to school and prepare to be employed again one day.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting christina0607:

I've been on this site since it started...and I've never seen that as consensus of the masses. 

I'm not really sure why you think that?

I agree. It's only been in these last few months that I have seen the SAHMs on PA thing start up. I don't know any sahm that are on PA. I'm a SAHM and we have never been on any type of PA either. I think this was probably just something thrown into one of those heated PA posts and it just snowballed into now people think sahm are on PA when not really that many people think that.

Kinda like posts where Mom A says something, Mom B totally takes it out of context, and then in all future posts Mom A is always labelled as having said something she never really said. I've seen that happen a lot on here. lol 

couture-mommy
by She.Me.Her on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:05 AM
I'm a SAHM on PA, but I can't physically work.
My husband just got a new job with a better pay so hopefully we will be off soon
VannaMae307
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:07 AM

I haven't worked since 2008, dh is active duty, not really that high of rank, but we only have 1 kid so it pays quite enough for me to not work. 

Moe1521
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:11 AM
I haven't worked in a little over a year. DH is also active duty and we also only have one child.


Quoting VannaMae307:

I haven't worked since 2008, dh is active duty, not really that high of rank, but we only have 1 kid so it pays quite enough for me to not work. 


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