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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you wait another year to put him into kindergarten?

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:12 AM
  • 36 Replies

My 4 yr old will turn 5 in june.  He is registered to start K in the fall.  but he has some issues that has started to make me consider waiting another year.  

First off, he has anxiety attacks if he cannot find me.  Right now he is up in his bedroom playing, but if he came down and lets say I was int he basement doing laundry, he would panic and start rushing through the house calling for me.  He does okay when he is at other peoples houses, but when we went in for his k screening, he freaked out when they took him to go do testing and I ended up having to go with him.  

He is also very easily distracted.  He can sit and focus on things, but at the same time, if there is a distraction, he has to be constatnly redirected back to what we are doing.  

Academical he is right were he should be.  But emotionally and attention span wise, I feel like he is behind. 

Now, the school recommended that we try summer school.  Its only for a month, but they thought it would be a good way to prepare him and help work past his anxiety.  And i am all for that, he is set to start in June.  But I have really been thinking about it.  And the more I consider all the options, the more I think it might be in his best interest to wait another year.  We do not have a preschool here other then the one for children who are developmentally delayed.  He has not delays, so preschool is not an option, but I wish it were, because I think it would be a great transition for him.  

The other options would be to do summer school then start K in the fall and if he is struggling we can always hold him back a year, or just push him harder.... I don't want his first experience with school to be a struggle or a constant battle, but I also don't want to hold him academically if we can avoid it.  (our second son was held back because we moved from one state to another, and he had been in k in MT but the cut off date was different in ID, and they would not let him finish K that year.  He is very intelligent, but now he is in 1rst grade and there is not academic challenge for him.. he is board  I dont' want that to be the same case with my 4 yr old.)


What would you do?

by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:22 AM

I would do the summer school thing and send him to kindergarten since he wouldn't be able to stay in a preschool.  You can always hold him back a year if he ends up not being ready and do extra stuff to challenge him at home to keep his interest up.

peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:24 AM

My DS made the K cutoff by 5 days

We held him out a year and have never regretted it for a second, but you have to do what is best for your child

jessi2girls
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:25 AM

I would do summer school then send him to kindergarten. 

raegansmom
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:25 AM

 DD is in Kindergarten.  She had separation anxiety as well.  The first day was tough, but after that she did really well.  I didn't make a big deal out of her leaving & stayed really happy.  It helped.  She still has an occassional day that she's clingy but has came a long way this year!  I would send him & definately do the summer school program!

YzmaRocks
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:26 AM
I am a firm believer in waiting to start until a child is ready. It sounds like he is not emotionally ready yet. If it were my child, I would keep him at home another year. Just my two cents :)
cLanief
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:29 AM
He should go to k when he's supposed to and get him used to you not being there for a couple hours and let him know you'll be there for him after school. Waiting another year could just make it even worse.
daughteroftruth
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:29 AM


Quoting raegansmom:

 DD is in Kindergarten.  She had separation anxiety as well.  The first day was tough, but after that she did really well.  I didn't make a big deal out of her leaving & stayed really happy.  It helped.  She still has an occassional day that she's clingy but has came a long way this year!  I would send him & definately do the summer school program!

This seperation anxiety thing is so different for me.  My older three were along the lines of "whatever mom, bye!"  on their first day of school.  It was harder on me then for them..lol.. they were all so very excited to start school and didn't seem to care were I was at all.  

Was there anything you were able to do to help prepare her for kinder in regards to the separation Anxiety?

raegansmom
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:31 AM

 She's an only child so with her I focused on all the friends she was going to make & how much fun she would have at school.  Like I said, she wasn't without tears, but I never would have held her back for it.  Things like this I think that you just have to nudge a kid to get over it & move on. 

Quoting daughteroftruth:


Quoting raegansmom:

 DD is in Kindergarten.  She had separation anxiety as well.  The first day was tough, but after that she did really well.  I didn't make a big deal out of her leaving & stayed really happy.  It helped.  She still has an occassional day that she's clingy but has came a long way this year!  I would send him & definately do the summer school program!

This seperation anxiety thing is so different for me.  My older three were along the lines of "whatever mom, bye!"  on their first day of school.  It was harder on me then for them..lol.. they were all so very excited to start school and didn't seem to care were I was at all.  

Was there anything you were able to do to help prepare her for kinder in regards to the separation Anxiety?

 

matofour
by Silver Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:31 AM
Wait.

Do some research about red shirting. Always better to wait. I would never send my kid and hold them back, why? Because of no child left behind, it's very hard to hold a hold back. Rarely does it happen. So he struggles (even if it's just emotionally), the next year that's not getting better.

Bored is just a term for misbehavior. Kids aren't bored in school. Sorry, as a former teacher nothing drives me crazier than hearing a child is "bored". Being ahead of the curve, doesn't mean bored. Many kids are ahead, many below. Teachers have to teach to the middle. Just the way it works in a school.

It never hurts to hold him out. But, I would also find a preschool and have him do pre k. That will help with his separation issues, and prepare him for being in school.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:32 AM

My DD was exactly the same.  She would have been 5 for 4 days on the first day of shool (also the cutoff date)

We held her back and it was absolutely the BEST decision we ever made.  We had her placed in the 4K program that year, instead.  (She has some sensory and anxiety issues as well which granted a special exception)


Quoting peanutsmommy1:

My DS made the K cutoff by 5 days

We held him out a year and have never regretted it for a second, but you have to do what is best for your child



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