I shouldn't have to chose!! Update 2 nd update 3rd update another update Last and final update!!!!! With semi happy news!
My sd gets out of the psych ward tomorrow they diagnosed her with hpd pretty much attention seeking sexual lewd conduct and several other nasty behaviors. She also cries abuse all the time which is part of the hpd well she told the hospital my grandfather touched her. But she has 6 different stories about it. In one she says all he did was hug her. The therapists asked her about it again last night and she than told the therapists she made it up so she would get attention. My grandparents are livid. Grandpa has never been left alone with this child because of how her mental state is. I'm always right there. She also doesn't show the signs of sexual abuse, she begs to go visit Gpa and gma. They are all I have left family wise besides my kids and husband. They raised me. Gpa has never even offered to touch me like that. My gma told me as long as my sd is living with me to stay home. I'm hurt.
She was never alone with Gpa, I don't leave her alone with guys since she screamed rape on ds last summer. He was 7 months old than.
We know her mom has taught her screaming rape and molestation is a wonderful way to get attention. But now I'm stuck in a hard place I don't want to be in.
She screamed something that wasn't true for attention and now I've lost the family I had left. The people who raised me and loved me since I was sds age (5). Gma said that if sd is going to scream that, knowing its not true, than she doesn't want her there, doesn't want me there as long as sd lives with us.
What do I do?
I'm lost, I'm hurt.
I know it isn't true and I talked to the therapists who even said she could tell it was made up for attention, because sd couldn't keep her story straight.
But that doesn't lessen the hurt, gma and Gpa treated her like family the moment they met her.
Just got off the phone with CPS. The hospital called because they are legally bound to report it. They believe her, they want to interview Gpa and her. And I might possibly be facing losing my kids over a lie. :( my whole world is going to be ripped from me because of a lie. What do I do? Where do I go from here? I'm even more hurt than when this started 2 days ago.
Update 2: I just got done get drug tested. No worries I will pass. They went and talk to sd at school. And she told them I'm always drunk and I go outside and smoke pot. Which I smoke cigs but not pot. She told them her father beats her and she's locked in her room with a padlock. No worries about that as her room doesn't have a door because I can't trust her not to drag her brother in there and beat him. She told them her father threw her down the stairs to her bedroom, not hard to disprove as how many multistory trailers have you guys seen? No worries about her father supposedly beating her as he works 6 days a week 12 hour shifts. She told them he beats her everyday he can't be in 2 places at once and he goes to work at 8am and comes home at 8 pm, so she sees him for maybe 15 mins a day before school and I'm sure if she was being beaten the school would've called by now. Gma has settled down. She said my Los and myself and dh are more than welcome but keep sd away. Although her choice of words describing sd was a bit harsher than I want to repeat. Sd made a comment on the way to school this morning that if CPS takes Micah (ds16 months) and saphyre (dd 5 weeks) she can stay and get all our attention.
Update 3: I passed the drug test. But SD started getting violent with DS, I called DH at work told him to either come home or find someone to watch SD. My babies and I are going to stay with my best friend across town and to keep SD on this side of town until he can get her under control. She was sitting on top of my 16 month old DS and was punching his face in. My kids and I left the 3rd. DH is allowed visitation with DS and DD when SD is in school. NO EXEPTIONS! I have no idea how long we are going to be out of the house, as it depends on whether DH can get her under control or if BM can reappear. After dropping SD off a month or so ago with no intentions of returning, BM just vanished, so DH and CPS are working together to find her so maybe she can take SD back. But until something is done my kids and I are not returning. My friend said to stay as long as we need to, she has a huge 2 bedroom apartment so there is plenty of space for us here. She loves my kids and has been trying to get me to at least send them to her since the start of all this mess, for their safety. Well now where here. I called one of DH's buddies to stay with him until this is all sorted out. So now DH has someone with him there as well. DH asked what he is suppose to do about child care, I told him not my problem, had he listened to me a year ago SD would not be this bad and I would still be there. I had told him a year ago something was wrong SD and she needed therapy. But Dh and Bm thought they knew other wise. **rolls eyes** Sometimes the SM's do know what they are saying. I wouldnt make DH chose, SD is his daughter. So I just took the babies and left. Dh misses myself and his younger 2 but Im not risking any thing else. Her therapists said that long term right now would be a bad idea and they need to wait since she just got out of short term. I think she needs to be locked in Long term stat but of course Im the same person who said a year ago to BM and DH their daughter needs therapy stat! Something is wrong. And that was ignored so Im keeping my mouth shut on my thoughts of her needing long term, Dh will figure it out on his own. So until SD is under control or something is done to help her regain control of herself and DH is able to control her, My kids and I care living with my best friend, or aunt Ikky to my DS (Nikki is her actual name.)
A lot of you ladies had wonderful advice that made me think. We brought up theraputic foster care to the worker and the worker said she will look into it and get back to us. Well DH has talked to her 4 other times since he brought up to her on thursday and shes mentioned nothing about it, and when DH asks her, she changes the subject. So were pretty sure thats out of the question. Im surprised that I was bashed so little, thank you all for being supportive and will update with more information as I get it. But I havnt answered my phone all weekend so I dont know whats going on in the trailer. (Which is in my name thats the fucked up part about me leaving, but since I have family and friends in town and DH does not, Just thought I would give him and SD the trailer to live in and I would go to my friends house, Her apartment is bigger anyway, so the little ones have more room to roam and play even with her stuff and our stuff in there.) So when I get more information I will let ya all know.
Update 4: CPS admitted they are unable to find a foster family for SD. Her mother has been located (Finally) And has 2 options either take SD (Since she has full custody anyway, DH is working on custody but unfortantly that takes longer than a month) Or lose her custodialship for good. She said she will take her back, just give her the time needed to find a house (Apparently she was living in her car or something.) And so she has 30 days to find a place or else CPS goes to court to get her custodialship yanked. I cant wait for her to find a place.. I miss DH. Ive been wearing his shirt to bed since I left, and DS keeps running around yelling daddy than crying. Thank you all for your support and kind words. I appriciate it. :) Will update when her mom finally comes and gets her and I get to go home!
Last update: Yay BM got a place. CPS helped her find a place and even paid her deposit and first months rent. (I didnt know they did that but I guess in extreme cases they do.) They are going to work with BM to make sure SD gets the help she needs. BM has to jump through a ton of hoops and hurdles to keep SD. They said that they will be in her moms house for a long while. My babies and I are just glad to go home. The worker is picking SD up tomorrow to take back to her moms house. I told DH to send SD's clothing and toys and even her bed so that way SD will have a bedroom and clothing, toys, ect. They are working on a safty plan to ensure the babies are safe when she comes over. DH told them he wants to breathe for a bit and that getting SD is out of the question for a month or so, so he can rest and recoop from all this. The worker said she understands. Were just glad we can finally go home. :D
Once again thank you all for the kind words and support. Im glad there are kind people on this site. Because this was my outlet. :) Thank you all
ETA: No I dnt think my toddler can go to jail for rape, SD had accused me of bringing in a "Short blonde hair blued eyed man to rape her in the living room" She than later admitted she was talking about her than 7 month old half brother, she wanted the baby to be gone! She told the worker that to. And even laughed about causing the trouble. Complete waste of resources, that CPS could be using towards other families who need it! And yes she uses words like rape, molestation,Sex, ect ect. Shes been groomed well.