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IDGAF if your kids are autistic or not! *ETA* *ETA*2

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TEACH THEM NOT TO ANTAGONIZE ANIMALS!!!!!


I was walking my dog, Conrad. Yes, he was leashed. Well, my neighbors have children who are all autistic. Now, Conrad is a young white Boxer; he weighs about 60 pounds and is EXTREMELY STRONG. Anyway, the neighbor's kids were out in their yard and one of their daughters starts BARKING at my dog! She doesn't know my dog, hasn't ever really seen my dog, and has ZERO reason to this, just as there was no reason for her mother NOT to stop her! 

It was all I could do to keep Conrad under control both on the way out and the way back (I live on a dead end street; one way in one way out) because this stupid ass mother can't teach her child how to respect animals. And what pisses me off the MOST is if, God forbid, Conrad had gotten away from me and bit this little girl; the parents would have called the closest ambulance chaser to sue our asses!


Just because children may be autistic does NOT excuse the parents from parenting!


*ETA*:


Now that I've seen the conclusions people jump to, let me clarify:

NOWHERE did I blame the child. I absolutely lay blame with her mother, who stood right THERE and let it happen. No correction, no shush, nothing. 

Conrad LOVES children. *I* however, can NOT guarantee (nor can any pet owner) that he loves ALL children. Barking at a strange dog is equivalent to running up to a strange dog and petting it, or shoving your hand in it's face. EVERY parent needs to teach their child this; but I think parents of children on the spectrum have to be especially vigilant. He was tail up and playbowing the entire time this was going on, which is why he was hard to control; he wanted to play. He's a rescue, and has come really far in the year and a half I've had him. We're working on it, he's been trained; he just wanted to play

The children are usually in the backyard. On this day the front yard, WITH parental supervision. So, to those with children on the spectrum, why couldn't the mother have shushed her child? Or told her to stop? I deal with autistic patients daily; I give them shots and cut casts off them. (well, ALL patients really, not just the autistic ones) 

My feelings would be the same if she were a child NOT on the spectrum

To those with the children on the spectrum, thank you for understanding what I'm saying. 


*ETA* 2: To answer a few more questions:


I was actually walking down the middle of the street. (Again; dead end street; VERY low traffic)

I saw my next door neighbor out this morning. (This is in between my house and the house in question) and told him what happened. He rolled his eyes and proceeded to tell me how the parents were over at his house with their children. (my next door neighbors also have dogs, and old Rhodesian Ridgeback and a mixed breed) the children were jumping all over the place, getting in the dogs' faces and yelling, climbing all over them, etc. So, would it have been my next door neighbor's fault if the dogs bit the children? These parents clearly haven't even tried to teach them respect for animals and there's no doubt in my mind it would be this way even if these children weren't autistic. 

by on May. 1, 2013 at 2:11 PM
Replies (661-663):
makenit
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2013 at 6:07 PM
Torre: you have a very difficult job.. I sometimes think high functioning kiddos are rougher than lo functioning because there is more expectation placed upon them to be socially appropriate.

I chose my life as a special Ed teacher.. You did chose for your child to have these struggles . Thank you for loving and accepting your child. It has to be tough.


Quoting torre667:

Ok, you are officially my new favorite person!  You put that in such easy to understand language.  As a mother to one of these high functioning kids, even I can not explain him this well.  You made me smile, and cry, and proud all at the same time.  Thank you for that, and for trying.



Quoting makenit:

In order to be "labeled" autistic a kid has to meet some very strict criteria.. I'm a special Ed teacher who works with kids on the spectrum. A parent can't just say "my kid is a handful and therefor must be autistic".



Kids with autism do have a wide range. High functioning kids can have Normal or even high IQ's. what makes them all autistic is how they process information, specifically social communication. And yes, that has been verified through studies on the brain and how certain information triggers different areas. Typical kids receive social cues and the brain lights up (using a PET SCAN and sugar Solution that is detectable with the scan). The brain has a very typical pattern for regular people. Autistic folks don't make the connection in the brain to read body language and facial expressions. Parenting and teaching kids who can't read body language for understanding if something is right or wrong is very challenging. They have to be taught externally "look at Jennie's face.. Is she happy or sad?" They struggle to understand what the face says.



Imagine learning the social cues necessary to decide if barking at a dog is ok. Ugh. These kids have to be taught almost every specific instance. How often does barking at dog come up? Even if mom/dad have managed to teach this child "don't bother animals" can you see how ambiguous that would be for someone who struggle with communicating? What are the parameters of "bother"? Does that mean hurt? Does hurt include being a nuisance? Can these kids even understand what a nuisance is? Can they predict the danger from one situation to the next? Perhaps parents have taught "don't touch" but barking isn't touching now is it?



You have to be that specific with these kids. Being the parent of an autistic child is exhausting because you can't predict how much they can generalize ( which, by definition of autism, is very little) I've worked with close to 60 autistic kids in my 20 years and not one could make that specific of a generalization. No matter the parents. If you have an autistic child, I have so much respect for you. It is parenting x 10.





Quoting leesie86:

I think too many people are labeling their kids autistic nowadays. And yes, people should teach their kids (autistic or not!) how to act around animals! 





makenit
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2013 at 6:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh geez.. TORRE.. You did NOT chose for your child to have these problems. I hate when I do that!!


Quoting makenit:

Torre: you have a very difficult job.. I sometimes think high functioning kiddos are rougher than lo functioning because there is more expectation placed upon them to be socially appropriate.



I chose my life as a special Ed teacher.. You did chose for your child to have these struggles . Thank you for loving and accepting your child. It has to be tough.




Quoting torre667:

Ok, you are officially my new favorite person!  You put that in such easy to understand language.  As a mother to one of these high functioning kids, even I can not explain him this well.  You made me smile, and cry, and proud all at the same time.  Thank you for that, and for trying.



Quoting makenit:

In order to be "labeled" autistic a kid has to meet some very strict criteria.. I'm a special Ed teacher who works with kids on the spectrum. A parent can't just say "my kid is a handful and therefor must be autistic".





Kids with autism do have a wide range. High functioning kids can have Normal or even high IQ's. what makes them all autistic is how they process information, specifically social communication. And yes, that has been verified through studies on the brain and how certain information triggers different areas. Typical kids receive social cues and the brain lights up (using a PET SCAN and sugar Solution that is detectable with the scan). The brain has a very typical pattern for regular people. Autistic folks don't make the connection in the brain to read body language and facial expressions. Parenting and teaching kids who can't read body language for understanding if something is right or wrong is very challenging. They have to be taught externally "look at Jennie's face.. Is she happy or sad?" They struggle to understand what the face says.





Imagine learning the social cues necessary to decide if barking at a dog is ok. Ugh. These kids have to be taught almost every specific instance. How often does barking at dog come up? Even if mom/dad have managed to teach this child "don't bother animals" can you see how ambiguous that would be for someone who struggle with communicating? What are the parameters of "bother"? Does that mean hurt? Does hurt include being a nuisance? Can these kids even understand what a nuisance is? Can they predict the danger from one situation to the next? Perhaps parents have taught "don't touch" but barking isn't touching now is it?





You have to be that specific with these kids. Being the parent of an autistic child is exhausting because you can't predict how much they can generalize ( which, by definition of autism, is very little) I've worked with close to 60 autistic kids in my 20 years and not one could make that specific of a generalization. No matter the parents. If you have an autistic child, I have so much respect for you. It is parenting x 10.








Quoting leesie86:

I think too many people are labeling their kids autistic nowadays. And yes, people should teach their kids (autistic or not!) how to act around animals! 







torre667
by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:07 PM

LOL, I knew what you meant, it is all good.  But in a way, you are correct.  The way he is, is all we know, and you betcha, we would chose him exactly this way, all over again.  Thank you for the job you do for all our kids, your heart and patience must be boundless.  I know how much a huge difference his aids, paras and teachers make in his life everyday.  They have taught us so much, more than we would ever have known on our own.  So in case you do not hear it enough, or ever feel overwhelmed and unappreciated, as a parent, thank you from the bottom of my heart!  

Quoting makenit:

Oh geez.. TORRE.. You did NOT chose for your child to have these problems. I hate when I do that!!


Quoting makenit:

Torre: you have a very difficult job.. I sometimes think high functioning kiddos are rougher than lo functioning because there is more expectation placed upon them to be socially appropriate.



I chose my life as a special Ed teacher.. You did chose for your child to have these struggles . Thank you for loving and accepting your child. It has to be tough.




Quoting torre667:

Ok, you are officially my new favorite person!  You put that in such easy to understand language.  As a mother to one of these high functioning kids, even I can not explain him this well.  You made me smile, and cry, and proud all at the same time.  Thank you for that, and for trying.



Quoting makenit:

In order to be "labeled" autistic a kid has to meet some very strict criteria.. I'm a special Ed teacher who works with kids on the spectrum. A parent can't just say "my kid is a handful and therefor must be autistic".





Kids with autism do have a wide range. High functioning kids can have Normal or even high IQ's. what makes them all autistic is how they process information, specifically social communication. And yes, that has been verified through studies on the brain and how certain information triggers different areas. Typical kids receive social cues and the brain lights up (using a PET SCAN and sugar Solution that is detectable with the scan). The brain has a very typical pattern for regular people. Autistic folks don't make the connection in the brain to read body language and facial expressions. Parenting and teaching kids who can't read body language for understanding if something is right or wrong is very challenging. They have to be taught externally "look at Jennie's face.. Is she happy or sad?" They struggle to understand what the face says.





Imagine learning the social cues necessary to decide if barking at a dog is ok. Ugh. These kids have to be taught almost every specific instance. How often does barking at dog come up? Even if mom/dad have managed to teach this child "don't bother animals" can you see how ambiguous that would be for someone who struggle with communicating? What are the parameters of "bother"? Does that mean hurt? Does hurt include being a nuisance? Can these kids even understand what a nuisance is? Can they predict the danger from one situation to the next? Perhaps parents have taught "don't touch" but barking isn't touching now is it?





You have to be that specific with these kids. Being the parent of an autistic child is exhausting because you can't predict how much they can generalize ( which, by definition of autism, is very little) I've worked with close to 60 autistic kids in my 20 years and not one could make that specific of a generalization. No matter the parents. If you have an autistic child, I have so much respect for you. It is parenting x 10.








Quoting leesie86:

I think too many people are labeling their kids autistic nowadays. And yes, people should teach their kids (autistic or not!) how to act around animals! 








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