I don't know if this post is me venting or an actual plea for guidance, but I know I need to do something. I am really going crazy.
Here is the fucked up story:
My husband is friends/business partners with a DJ on Sirius satellite radio. He and another one of his partners were invited to the show just to chatter in between songs, etc. No big deal of course, I was actually excited to hear him on the air and tuned in (the show is live online). Well, during the show all these guys get to talking about this girl being hot, that girl being hot. Again, no big deal (although not very happy at this point). But the conversation gets ugly very fast and they all start talking about celebrity girls that they actually want to FUCK and unbelievably explicit things they want to do w these girls. Fucking disgusting things that I can't even mention here. And of course, who is leading the charge on this whole conversation is my husband. I am listening to this live and I can make out HIS VOICE & HIS LAUGH very clearly. My head was spinning and I literally couldn't breathe, felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I felt like he was Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. This is the someone that I have been with for 12 years. I have NEVER heard him talk like this. He has never, ever disrespected or degraded a woman in my presence EVER. As a matter of fact, he is the most polite, considerate person I have ever met (or so I thought). Now I don't know what to believe. As soon as he left the station I blew up his phone, and of course he said that he was just following the flow of the discussion, but that's fucking BULLSHIT because I heard the women he said he wanted to fuck and I know they are definitely his type, exp. Mila Kunis, Olivia Munson, etc.
Anyway, I have spoken to my GFs about it and everyone just minimizes the situation saying "that's just how guys talk". Fucking bullshit. I know if they HEARD their husbands talking like this it would be a completely different story! So, of course, I look like the petty, insecure chick no matter what I do. AAARRGH!!!
My heart is broken. Do I really know this man? I have seriously thought of a divorce. I know that sounds extreme, but I can't get this out of my mind. Will I ever be able to let him touch me without hearing all those nasty things he said???
We have a 12 year old child together and he really is the love of my life and the sweetest, most generous person I have ever known (he paid off all my college loans, 70k when we got married, and even bought my mom a house!). But I don't know if I will be ever able to look at him again.
What should I do? Should I just ignore my feelings and soldier on? Please don't judge me harshly. Put yourself in my shoes please.