i think the woman who disappeared for 11 years had the right idea.....*edit**edit again...kinda long*
i really do. however, i would take my kids. i don't think i could just up and leave them like that. that would be shitty. but i would have no problem whatso ever just walking away from everything else....my parents, dh, the school, therapists, everybody. not tell one single soul im leaving, or where i was leaving to. though i wouldn't know either, i would just pack what would fit in my car, and drive......and keep driving.
i am a much happier person when i think about this. when i try and reason with myself i get even more depressed and feel stuck, like i will never get out of where i am.
just a random post i guess....i know its early, but its beautiful outside and the thought of just packing and driving on such a wonderful day makes me happy i guess.....
so, i have figured out what im going to do. i am going to go live with my grandmother in florida. i am not going to just up and leave, as this trip will take planning. im in ny.
tonight is the icing on the cake. ds was arrested. and i had to be the one to call. we were on the way home from my parents house, and i took back roads....dark, and barely any thru traffic. he had a fit about leaving, finally got in the car and half way home, had a huge fit bc i wouldn't turn around and get his ds game.
he went bazerk. hitting, kicking the door and windows...screaming as loud as he can. thrashing all over the car. i told him if he didn't stop i would call the police, which has always worked, but not tonight.
so we were in the phsyc ward from 830-245....just got home.
same thing as the last 5 times.....a load of bs, and an ambulance bill.
i really just wanted to drive head on into a tree. but i had the kids with me.
hopefully 3 months in florida will help some. come back with a fresh start at the end of august.