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Why do men do this?? Long Rant

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Tomorrow we are celebrating DS's 5th birthday. The house needed cleaning. It wasn't filthy but needed to be vacuumed, mopped, dusted etc. Df's parents, his brother, brother's girlfriend, my parents, my sister and her boyfriend will all be here. We live in a big house and it is an all day job for one person to clean. DF swore up and down he would help. I got help for about 30 minutes. He swept half the linoleum with the broom. Then he started cleaning off the counters. This would not normally be an issue except there is currently a week and a half's worth of mail and bills and assorted other paper currently sitting in various sorted piles. I told him not to worry about the counter right then and that I would handle that later. He kept asking me questions every 30 seconds so I was getting nothing done. Apparently I yelled at him so he says. He's a bit sensitive so he went and sat on the couch and has done NOTHING since. I'm pissed. I've been moving furniture and everything while he sits on his ass on the couch and watches and plays games on his phone. Why do men do this??? He knows what needs to be cleaned. I told him what all I wanted to get done before we started. I've been busting my butt for the last 5 hours and should have been done by now. Or I would have been if he had helped instead of acted like a child. Instead I'm going to be cleaning until I drop from sheer exhaustion.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 4, 2013 at 4:29 PM
Replies (11-20):
EvilAsh
by on May. 4, 2013 at 4:42 PM

Shouldn't he clean the counters before sweeping? And who the heck takes a half hour to do that??

My husband is like this too. He helps for like 5 minutes, starts doing something else, then something else, then forgets what the first things are. So it's more trouble than it's worth a lot of the time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 4, 2013 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Um no. We don't do gender specific roles in this house. I work 40+ hours a week plus overtime a lot of the time. I'm home ONLY on the weekends. Some nights I'm not home until 7pm or later. He works 38-40 hours a week and is home by 5:45 each night. He does not work on the weekend either.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's your job, not his fault you left it to the last minute.
handy0318
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2013 at 4:46 PM

Wow... I can understand being upset. My dh is great at helping out when the house needs heavy cleaning done. Even though he's only home on the weekends as it it. He's never once complained about doing heavy cleaning and he does a great job.

LilliesValley
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 4:48 PM

 

Well then that would be a long term thing to work on. I don't know my dh has some pretty thick skin. My BFF though her dh is way needy so...but I never have any good advice to tell her. She usually gets long breaks though because of his job he is gone for months at a time. He's about to leave for 4 months soon.

Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't yell. That's the thing. He takes pretty much any negative comment as yelling whether the person was yelling or not.

Quoting LilliesValley:

Well next time don't yell at him. LOL!!! All you can do now is ask for him to help and hope that he does. And of course bring it up later when it's not the heat of the moment.


 

NikLvsNick
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2013 at 4:50 PM

mine went fishing with his parents. I could have went but I wanted to clean instead since I am the only one home. He doesn't clean like I do. He folded a basket of laundry last night....I had to take over since nothing was being folded right.It is what it is and I don't mind at all. As long as it gets done and I'm happy, that's all that matters.

askyourmother
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2013 at 4:53 PM
The only thing I have dh do is take out the trash and make sure all clothes get put in the laundry room. I have my way of doing things and if I fuss at him it just makes both of us Angry and nothing gets done.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 4, 2013 at 4:53 PM
The counters were clean they had already been wiped down. It was the piles of stuff that I had sorted to put away later.

Quoting EvilAsh:

Shouldn't he clean the counters before sweeping? And who the heck takes a half hour to do that??

My husband is like this too. He helps for like 5 minutes, starts doing something else, then something else, then forgets what the first things are. So it's more trouble than it's worth a lot of the time.

l0nely
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2013 at 4:56 PM
Not all men are good at cleaning.
Perhaps next time make him a list of easier tasks that he could do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 4, 2013 at 5:03 PM
Ugh. Annoying. My DH will say he's going to clean up the kitchen after dinner and he will get half way through and then say 'I'm gonna take a break for a minute'...gauranteed he won't go back and finish it. But he'll sit and watch tv like a champ! Lol.

Then if I go to finish everything he gets defensive about how he 'was going to finish that!'. When, tomorrow? Or when I'm pissed off because I just did baths and bedtime while you said you'd clean up so we could have some time together after the kids went to bed?

Well we're not getting time together now, buddy, are we? Because now I'm doing all that stuff you said you'd take care of! (Lol!) Yeah. Very obnoxious. I try to give him some slack for the most part because he very often works 14-15 hour days, a few in a row. But then he has days where he's off or only had to do a 5 hour shift because business was quiet. On those long days I don't expect much of anything out of him, lol. But the days where he's off the least he could do is follow through on cleaning up dinner when he offers!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 4, 2013 at 5:08 PM
Sounds a lot like DF and I. Especially on the nights I work until 7. I'm home by 7:40 and he'll ask me what I'm making for dinner. O.o Are you kidding me??? You've been home since 5:45 man. You could have made something.


Quoting Anonymous:

Ugh. Annoying. My DH will say he's going to clean up the kitchen after dinner and he will get half way through and then say 'I'm gonna take a break for a minute'...gauranteed he won't go back and finish it. But he'll sit and watch tv like a champ! Lol.



Then if I go to finish everything he gets defensive about how he 'was going to finish that!'. When, tomorrow? Or when I'm pissed off because I just did baths and bedtime while you said you'd clean up so we could have some time together after the kids went to bed?



Well we're not getting time together now, buddy, are we? Because now I'm doing all that stuff you said you'd take care of! (Lol!) Yeah. Very obnoxious. I try to give him some slack for the most part because he very often works 14-15 hour days, a few in a row. But then he has days where he's off or only had to do a 5 hour shift because business was quiet. On those long days I don't expect much of anything out of him, lol. But the days where he's off the least he could do is follow through on cleaning up dinner when he offers!!
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