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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I hate being a mother.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 40 Replies
And I hate myself for that.

I absolutely adore my kids. I waited to have them until I was married and financially ready and they were planned. I loved being pregnant and I loved delivering. But the minute I got home with my kids (they are boy/girl twins - trust me, once I realized I hated being a mother I got my tubes tied) I realized that this was not what I imagined at all.
People told me it would get better. My kids are eleven now. As puberty sets in, it's only getting worse. Every stage was awful in its own way. I don't feel resentful of my kids - mostly just guilty that I never enjoyed playing with them or teaching them things or their milestones. I don't think anyone knows I feel like that and I think I'm a good mother. But I hate everything about it. I hated potty training, teaching to read, teaching to tie shoes, weaning, sleep training, teaching math, clothes shopping, PTA, chaperoning field trips - everything! The only thing that gave me joy were their independent milestones, like first smile, first word, first steps.
I am NOT depressed. I do NOT have any mental issues. I was tested and preliminarily treated for PPD - I never had it. My children are a bit of a handful but are good kids. This is nobody's fault. It just makes me sad.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 4, 2013 at 9:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2013 at 9:15 PM
Bump
csxt99
by Jennifer on May. 4, 2013 at 9:16 PM
2 moms liked this

You aren't the first woman to feel that way and you won't be the last.  Being a mom is hard, thankless, and never-ending. 

hsummersill
by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:17 PM

I can always spot a mother who doesn't enjoy being a mother. I'm sorry you feel that way.

KristenFowles
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:17 PM

 I'm sorry :(

I can't imagine what parenting would be like if I HATED it..  Obviously there are days I just want to cry.. But to completely hate it :-/

I just hope you're a good enough actress that they'll never know..

And soon you'll have ADULT children, maybe that will be more your cup of tea :)

 


   

mommyakabooby
by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:18 PM

I don't think you're the first mother who has ever felt this way. Don't beat yourself. Up over it. If you're there for them, and love them and treat them good, then all is good. 

momma2mms
by Kristin on May. 4, 2013 at 9:18 PM

That is sad. Some people just don't have that bond or instinct. Maybe it will change as they get older and more independent. I'm pretty sure that's how my dh's parents feel about him and his twin sister.

Mrs.Godfrey
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:18 PM

i am with you... dont get me wrong  i love them to death.... i do really.... but i am not the kid person i thought i was... and although  i do everything in my power to keep my kids from knowing my tru feelings... and i do everything i can to be the best mom i can possibly be... but if i had it to do again... i probably wouldnt have made the same choices..i hate thinking to my self.... ok only x amount of years left before they are adults... and i hate feeling like this as well... they are 13 12 and 7

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 4, 2013 at 9:19 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you're right about that. I'm looking forward to when they're adults and we can relate directly to each other.

I am a good actress. They are very well loved and cuddled and spoiled and cared for. And thank GOD their father adores them too with all his being and is a huge help and support to me.

He knows I feel this way.

Quoting KristenFowles:

 I'm sorry :(


I can't imagine what parenting would be like if I HATED it..  Obviously there are days I just want to cry.. But to completely hate it :-/


I just hope you're a good enough actress that they'll never know..


And soon you'll have ADULT children, maybe that will be more your cup of tea :)

livelaughlov26
by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:20 PM
I'm sorry. I have those days. The past week has been awful. I love my son. But I know I don't have the temperament for more. So im done. Remember to take time for you.
ElitestJen
by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:20 PM

Is there anything you do like to do that you can include your kids in?  Any interests that you have that you can share with them? 

I hate tea parties and hot wheels, but I like mini-golf. 

It might be that you just haven't found a common ground with them in which to bond completely.  Hang in there and keep trying.

Oh...do you like kids, in general?  Maybe that's the issue.  Perhaps when they become young adults, you'll feel more of a connection with them.

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