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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

S/O on throwing out DD's Makeup

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 71 Replies

Okay - can I just say - although I would never ever give any child under the age of 10 makeup as a gift -I'm more into music and books as gifts- that I have never ONCE controlled what my kid did with a gift. I set limits on what they do with the gift - i.e DD was once given a very tight shirt that had "I've been a bad girl this year santa" and I told her that I did not want her wearing it out of the house with family. She could wear it in the house, she could wear it with friends, I just didn't want her wearing it while out with her little siblings. Hey; it was a comprimise :) BUT I have never demanded her to return gifts or throw out gifts or regift them. I find that tacky and rude. I have never done it for any of my kids. Sure I might hate you for giving my kid a musical toy that they play with ALL day that plays the same 8 bars repeatedly, but I would never throw it out. I may not replace the batteries but I won't throw it out. My great aunt sent my DD a mini makeup set every year since she turned 10 and I've never once told her she couldn't have them. DD (who has MILD aspergers) was very anti breaking school rules so she refused to wear it to school, and was too afraid that people would notice her more with makeup on. But she loved wearing it at home, wearing it to the shops, out with friends, etc.


My point is, unless I have rung you up personally and said "Do not give my daughters makeup for their birthday" or ANY object - I despise Bratz dolls they're on my 'banned' list - then I have no right to throw away what you have brought my children. If I feel the present is innappropriate I may put it in the back of their/my cupboard for a while; and heck, if my child mucks up and your present is something that makes her straighten up, I'll even confiscate the item for awhile, but I believe that kids need to "own" and "control" something of their own. With that said; my makeup rules are: No wearing it to school, No playing with it in bedrooms, No placing it where younger children can use it; and if I think it looks slutty  you bet your ass I will march you into the bathroom and watch you wash it off and start all over again. When do I think it's appropriate to start wearing it? at least 13. I believe that your teenage years are about starting to take control of yourself, your body (within reason - no sex) your actions, your schoolwork, your friend choices, etc. Do I have hard firm rules that I won't budge on? Yes. But I feel that if you give children enough freedom and control over what they do, they'll respect the hard firm rules more than if you're overcontrolling and overbearing.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2013 at 7:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pink.Frosting
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I really need to go to bed, but I'm too tired to get up and walk back there, lol. Poo.
Today at 3:52 AM
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2013 at 8:13 AM
2 moms liked this

I can throw away anything in my house that I choose to.  If a "gift" is against a rule in my house, I'll do whatever I feel I need to do with it.  Be that take it and put it away or throw it away.  

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on May. 5, 2013 at 8:16 AM
5 moms liked this
Bull
Im the parent. Its my job to protect her. And if that includes throwing away a gift to keep her from looking like a street walker then so be it
colins_mom
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2013 at 8:17 AM
6 moms liked this
did ypu read the whole post? she had her dd throw it all away because she wasn't following the rules with it and was sneaking it etc.


I would have done the same thing.
Kitschy
by on May. 5, 2013 at 8:18 AM

I would have taken that stuff back as soon as she got it. That being said, if she wasn't listening I can see how throwing it away would be a consequence. My DD is almost 5 and already interested in makeup. She has friends with play makeup already, she doesn't have any. I don't know if I even like the idea of play makeup at all. In this house the rule is light shadow, gloss, and mascara can be worn at 12. If my daughter doesn't listen, I'll yank those privileges from her in a heart beat.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2013 at 8:20 AM

i would have GIVEN it back to the giver as soon as it was opened and discovered there was make up in it

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2013 at 8:22 AM


If you've told people it's against your rules - I completely agree with you.

Quoting Pink.Frosting:

I can throw away anything in my house that I choose to.  If a "gift" is against a rule in my house, I'll do whatever I feel I need to do with it.  Be that take it and put it away or throw it away.  



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2013 at 8:22 AM


I may have to make an edit - I said that if they are misusing it I will put it away until she's ready to use it properly, or if I have stated that it is against my rules, I will not allow her to use it/have it.

Quoting mommy_me:

Bull
Im the parent. Its my job to protect her. And if that includes throwing away a gift to keep her from looking like a street walker then so be it



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2013 at 8:23 AM

Yep I did, it wasn't about her - it was about the rest of the crowd saying that their DD's wouldn't even have gotten to touch the makeup that it would have gone straight in the trash.


Quoting colins_mom:

did ypu read the whole post? she had her dd throw it all away because she wasn't following the rules with it and was sneaking it etc.


I would have done the same thing.



Toonkasmommy
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2013 at 8:23 AM
I agree with tossing it. She did set boundaries with her makeup and she did not listen.
BluePandaDreams
by on May. 5, 2013 at 8:25 AM
My child, my responsibility. If she gets a gift I don't approve of, damn straight I am taking it away from her.
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