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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

When do you say enough? *Uodate*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 107 Replies

This may be a little long, if it is I am sorry.

SO and I have only been together going on 3 months now.  We have only known each other, maybe 4 months.  He is a sweet guy and all, but we have been fighting almost weekly, if not more for about a month now about things I feel we should not even be at right now.  Now mind you he has been away since the beginning of April for training and stuff (he's military).  Before he left I got swept up in the emotions, and all of that.  He wanted us (me and my child) to move in with him as soon as he got back, wanted to get married ASAP, and get pregnant ASAP.  As I said, I was swept up in the whirlwind of newness, and thought let's do it.


Since he's been gone we've fought about me wearing bras every time I leave the house and under every thing I wear.  We've fought about me wearing bikinis in public, ie the beach or any one's swimming pool.  We've fought about the length of my shorts. I conceded and agreed to wear the bras, wear longer shorts, and wear tanktinis instead of bikinis.  We have also fought about him adopting my child, I said no and that it is way too soon to even be discussing that.  We fought about changing my child's last name which I also said no to.  My child's father has been in and out, but I will not insult him by changing our child's last name to some one else's.

during all of this I have also had time to think about the moving, marriage, and baby thing.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was way too rushed for me and we needed to take a few steps back, slow down a bit, follow the natural progression of our relationship, that there is no need to rush like that.  I have realized that only a few short months into a relationship, especially not knowing each other long, is not only foolish, but risky as well.  A risk I choose not to make, especially with my child involved.  I informed him of this after the name change/adoption fight.  Ever since then it has been fight after fight about the fact that I feel we need to slow down a bit.  When he is not out right bringing it up, he is going about it in a round about way.  He is either saying he thinks I'm wrong or that he doesn't understand why I think or feel thE way I do.  He does not feel or believe we are rushing and that we are following the natural progression of our relationship by moving in together after only a few months.  If he's not doing that he's telling me we're only going to be seeing each other a few times a month (we live 2 hours apart) and he feels our relationship will fail because of it, so ultimately I take it as him saying move in or we're over.  He does not like that no matter what he says I will not budge.  Even if I agree to move at the end of the summer, he says that is too long of a wait for us to move in together.  I just don't understand nor want the rush.

This week alone we've had the moving too fast fight 3 times.  Right now I have my phone off because I just cannot take any more tonight.  At this point I am just tired of the fighting and want it to stop.  When do I finally throw my hands in the air and call it quits?  I do love him, but this is killing me.  I can't take the stress of it any more.  What would you ladies do?

*Update*

Well I ended it with him after he gotnupset because I didn't say I love you the way he wanted me to.  He spent a good deal of time begging me not to then resorted to turning the whole thing around on me, claiming I misunderstood things he was saying.  Now he's just being an ass.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2013 at 10:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kansasmom1978
by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like a control freak. I would put my foot down now or leave.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2013 at 10:15 PM

Oh good lord.  The last time I said he seemed controlling he got so upset.  He swears he is not controlling.  He is also seriously codependent while I am independent.

Quoting kansasmom1978:

Sounds like a control freak. I would put my foot down now or leave.


mamaninny
by Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:31 PM
4 moms liked this
HUGE red flags!!! LEAVE HIM!!! He's controlling and its only going to get worse. Don't sacrifice the well being of you and your child for some guy you met 4 months ago. You both deserve better.
metalmomma86
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:37 PM

Yeah NOW would be a good time to call it quits. When he starts telling you how to dress and is rushing things. He is very insecure. It won't get better.

Michaelsmom0522
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:39 PM

Wow I didn't even read all of that but he sounds crazy. Or extremely needy. I would not be around for that. Especially after 4 months? No way.

supercarp
by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:39 PM

Run, don't walk in the other direction of this scary control freak.

AJ-47
by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:41 PM
RUN.
Leissaintexas
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:42 PM

You've known him 4 months, he's been gone since April, but you "love' him? And he wants your child to have his last name? Wow, this is a train wreck just waiting to happen. Cut your losses and move on.  YOu haven't known him long enough to build a relationship wiht him.

momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:43 PM

Sounds like a control freak, I would run, fast. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Thanks ladies.
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