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Friend just dropped a HUGE bomb tonight!!! **POST DATE UPDATE**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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ok so little back story, i have been friends with this guy we will call him F, for about 6 months now, and we have been just friends.... well for the last two months I have been dating (not officially) this guy we will call him S, well S is still not over his ex girlfriend, so he doesnt want to commit yet, although he tells me he loves me and we are basically a couple.... well tonight I get a text from F, he wants to know if he can come over to talk to me, I told him sure, no problem... 

He got here, and he told me we needed to talk alone... well I took him into the other room, and we talked, he told me he was nervous about what he had to say, i told him i was too but just to get on with it lol, he said "well i have something to break the ice first" and (being naive) I said "whats that?" he grabbed me and kissed me..... AKWARD!!! I have liked him for the longest time, but we have been just friends... well after that he told me he is PCS'ing with the military at the end of the year, and told me he wanted to take someone with him, so he told me to pack my bags... I laughed thinking he was just kidding, he said "No, you dont understand, Im not kidding, I want you to be my partner in all of this, I have had you as an amazing friend the last few months, and I want more, I want you as my wife."

WTF?????????????

I was NOT expecting this!!!! So now I have to choose!!! Im soooo lost! I dont know if I am venting or asking advice or what I want out of this... 

Oh and in advance YES I told S about F kissing me, S said its whatever, we arent exclusive so do whatever you want. and No I didnt tell S about F asking me to go with him....


**UPDATE**  I decided that im breaking things off with S tonight, and afterwards im going to tell F that yes I want a relationship with him and see where it goes. :) 

*EDIT* For all the women asking, no I dont have any biological children, I raised my ex's son from the day he was born, he is 5 now, we live in different states, but he is still my son, we talk all the time, and I have visitation, if I move with F I will actually be closer to him, although that is not a deciding factor in whether or not I go.... So to answer your question, no there are no kids that are going to be affected by this, both S and F have no biological kids, and neither do I. Even though I consider myself an adoptive mom :)


**UPDATE 2** So S called me back finally... after I texted him that we needed to talk tonight... He called, and just pretended like everything was fine, I told him we needed to talk, and can you please come over tonight? He said no, we can just talk this weekend... I told him it was important and didnt want to do it over the phone but we could, he said no... Im pretty sure he knows what is coming, and just doenst want to talk about it... Ugh :/ So I told him that I want to give F a chance, and that I deserved better than being a second choice... he got really quiet and said to wait before making a decision, and that he would call me back in a few minutes.... That was half an hour ago..... :/ We will see how this goes....


**UPDATE 2 and a half** So... S never called back... he SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE!!!! he brought flowers, and was trying to be so sweet, told me he loved me, and was over his ex, and he wanted me and only me :/ I told him I didnt want to hear it, and that I wanted him to leave... he dropped down and proposed on my front porch.... he PROPOSED!! the guy who didnt want to make us dating into an official relationship because he wasnt over his ex... what the heck?? I told him no, and told him to please leave, he told me to think about it and had the saddest look ive ever seen... i KNOW he is just doing this to get to me 0.O Im trying to stay strong and not let it get to me but its soooo flippin hard! F is supposed to be coming over when he gets done at the range tonight... I will update after that conversation... Urgh :/

Quick Update- F didnt get done at range until late last night, so we are going to try and talk tonight if he gets back in time :) As soon as we talk I will update again :) He did ask me what I wanted to talk to him about, I told him that I had made my decision, but wanted to talk about it with him in person :D

Mini Update- F is on his way over so we can talk!! I will update as SOON as he leaves :) EEP! Im soo nervous and excited all at the same time lol


**UPDATE 3** So F just left :) He has to be up in 3 hrs :( So anyway... He came over, and we went to talk... First thing he said was "I just want you to know I will wait for your answer, you dont have to rush anything, I dont want you to feel like I am pushing you into something you dont want to do." I laughed, and told him I already made up my mind, I told him what S did, and so F said "Well I understand if you choose him, I should have told you how I felt earlier." So.... I leaned over and kissed him.... (omg! I NEVER do that lol) After the kiss he kind of pulled back a little, with this shocked expression, and so I asked him "Is that enough of an answer for you?" He got the cutest little grin, and said "So does this mean you're coming with me?" So then we talked in detail, I told him that I wanted to start a relationship with him, and when it gets closer to the time he leaves we will reevaluate things, but I told him I didnt want to rush into moving together, and especially didnt want to rush into marriage. So things are great between us :) I felt so bad because he was tired, he has range until Thursday :( Poor guy is exhausted... But any way, that is my update :) Things are great! He asked me if I would go on our first official date Friday (since he only works a half day and can catch up on sleep in the afternoon lol) Im sooo excited! Im still all giggly, and butterflies and just AHH!! I cant explain it :)

**POST DATE UPDATE**

So my date was AMAZING!! He showed up and brought flowers

Then he took me out to this place called Tuscanos, its this brazilian grill place, its my favorite restaurant :) After dinner, it was storming, and I LOVE thunderstorms, well he drove to this park, by the lake (river thing? idk it was water lol!) and we walked around in the rain, and just talked :) It was amazing :) Afterwards he drove me home, and walked me to the door, he said "Ok, this is how I should have done it the first time we kissed." And leaned in and gave me the most wonderful earth spinning kiss. Then he said asked me if we could go out again tomorrow, of course I said yes :) and then he went home.... I am on cloud 9 :D

Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 1:34 AM
Replies (21-30):
lovnmy3boys
by Paula on May. 6, 2013 at 1:42 AM
1 mom liked this

A little soon for marriage... Go slow :)

chickieboom
by on May. 6, 2013 at 1:42 AM
I think you meant that the other way around :-)

And if S isn't over his ex, he already told you you're whatever. You don't owe S anything. I don't think you should run off and get married but maybe you should look at what your relationship with F really means to you.

I personally think it's pretty exciting. The best relationships are built on friendship so you've got a good thing going already ;-)


Quoting BabyDamien13107:

I would say dump "F" since he's obviously not over his ex. How do you feel about "S"?

numonestunar
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:43 AM
Just do it. Go with F. Lol
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 6, 2013 at 1:44 AM

I really like F, I have liked him since we first met.... I could definitely see him that way

Quoting mandaday:

How do you feel about F? Could you see him that way?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 6, 2013 at 1:44 AM

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Missmyangel1
by on May. 6, 2013 at 1:44 AM

I would say go with F. S still has a thing for his ex and he could drop you at the turn of a hat to get back with ex if given the opportunity. I say give F a chance, start trying to work on it now and see how it goes!

TotallyTweedles
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:44 AM
Well S doesn't care that another guy kissed you. Official or not I would be pissed! Other than the whole he's not over his ex thing his lack of concern would definitely make me wonder what all he's out doing because we aren't exclusive.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 6, 2013 at 1:44 AM

Yeah, he is definitely a little shy, when it comes to how he feels, but everything else he is definitely opinionated and loud about it lol

Quoting cjsix:

 He said he's pcsing at the end of the year so you have a few months to spend together and see if you both really want to be together and marry. Give him a chance he sounds like a nice guy...albeit a little shy maybe?


BabyDamien13107
by Beautiful.Lil.Fool on May. 6, 2013 at 1:45 AM
I got the letters mixed up. But with what you just said, definitely dump "s" (booty call?) and think about "f" (friend?). Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous:

I dont know, I love spending time with S, but it feels like I am a last resort sometimes, like the only time he comes to see me is when he wants sex... he avoids me completely during my monthly..... But I have liked F since we first became friends, but we never talked about a relationship.

Quoting BabyDamien13107:

I would say dump "F" since he's obviously not over his ex. How do you feel about "S"?


cjsix
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:45 AM

 I think right here you kind of answered your question....S isn't over his x and until he is he will never be ready to completely commit to you or anyone else. You also said you kind of want to start something with F and see where it goes...this tells me you should let S go and see how things go with F. Friendship is a wonderful way to start a relationship and later a marriage. Go for it!

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, while I definitely agree friendship is the most important thing, and I HATE that S still isnt over his x, I have such an amazing time with S, I just dont know.... I kinda want to start up something with F and see what happens, but that means being completely done with S, I refuse to date two guys at once, IDK I am just lost lol

Quoting EachNewBreath:

GO F!

Friendship is so important! That is what makes marriage sweet. 

Dump this lose S who still has X issues. 

GO FO GO F GO F!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

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