Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

she spanked my kid and thought nothing of it **UPDATE WITH HER REPLY**

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 329 Replies
2 moms liked this

 

Poll

Question: what would YOU do?

Options:

talk to her face to face and explain it was wrong

tell her off immediately

punch her in the face

stop talking to her now

tell her it better not happen again, and leave it alone

other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 445

View Results

a friend babysat for me over the weekend (friday night to saturday morning). her dd is 4, same as my ds, and my DD that was also there is 5 1/2.

she was having trouble putting them to bed. i can admit that my ds can be very difficult at bedtime, especially in a new surrounding etc. she told the kids "the next one that comes out is getting a spanking". well go figure it was my kid, and she spanked him.

now, i am not against spanking, so don't bash me for being pissed. my problem was that SHE spanked them. i guess it really freaked dd out and she was crying to come home. they are very independent and never really cry for me, so that made me upset.

we had coffee when i picked them up and she made some comment of how they must hate her because they're not used to someone who yells and actually follows through. she's big on time-outs, so i figured that's what she meant. she spanks her kid every so often, but for doing really bad things. it didn't even occur to me that she meant spanking.

on my way home, dd told me about it. she seemed scared to tell me, like I was going to be mad that they weren't being good. i told dd that they should have listened to her, that she is in charge when i'm not there, BUT that what she did was not right. no one has the right to put their hands on you, all that stuff.

they felt better. well, then i wondered if i should even tell DH (he hates her already), but i couldn't hold it anymore, and i didnt feel right about it. well, he is pissed. super pissed, understandably. it was really late by then and i couldn't sleep, so i wrote her a very long email explaining how what she did was very wrong, etc.

I let a lot of sh*t roll off my back with her and let it slide, but I don't think I can with this. This will be a friendship dealbreaker. I've only known her 3-4 years. My BFF I've known for almost 20 and we would never lay our hands on each others' kids - no matter what...

what to do? another friend said to punch her in the face lol!!

Update: She replied to my email. She apologized completely and admitted that I'm right and she was totally wrong. Said she crossed the line and also felt bad that I didn't feel comfortable just telling her that I was upset (because I mentioned that I debated bringing it up). She said that won't happen again, ever, and that she hopes this won't change our friendship.

That's the reply I was hoping for. I think that saved the friendship. I told her that I can share in some of the fault because I should have made these things clear beforehand, and that she replied in an understanding nature, just how I was hoping, so it doesn't change anything in our friendship - water under the bridge at this point.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 8:20 AM

you could go extreme and call the cops for abusing your child....

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 8:21 AM

someone needs to put that woman in her place...she oughta be told she can go to jail for doing what she did, and hopefully next time, she'll think twice about putting her hands on someone else's child. 

december911
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2013 at 8:21 AM

I would be livid! I don't even let family members spank our kids. Only me or DH, and that is still a rarity. It would be a deal breaker for me as well. FYI, I let my DH's entire family know that if they put their hands on one of mine, it would be the last time they ever saw them.

angevil53
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2013 at 8:24 AM
17 moms liked this
Don't let her watch your kids if you don't like how she parents. Sounds like your son was being a terror and she got tired of it. She warned him even. It never hurts to put out the guidelines of what you expect during their visit. But would you have spanked him for acting out like that? If the answer is yes i would think she was just trying to do what you would do.
starlight91
by on May. 6, 2013 at 8:25 AM
43 moms liked this

I wouldnt say anything, your child was warned and did not listen, if she did not follow through with the next one who comes out gets a spanking , your child would have learned to walk all over your friend, that she doesnt follow through either...

btw the follow through comment by your friend , sound like she doesnt believe you follow through, and your child got upset because she did, not the actual spanking...

fairyjester
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2013 at 8:26 AM
6 moms liked this
Had you discussed acceptable methods of punishment before she sat for you? Had you told her beforehand not to spank your kids?

if not you have no right to be mad, just tell her you do not want her spanking your kids
amber710
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 8:27 AM
4 moms liked this
Oh hell no! What an entitled bitch! She literally thinks she can hit anyones kids whenever she deems fit.

I agree...scare the hell out of her by pointing out that you could prosecute. I wouldnt actually bother to. Just stop hanging out with her & trusting her. But the threat will make her realize that it is a serious offense and hopefully make her think before hitting other peoples' kids-especially for something she probably wouldnt even spank her own for doing.

Btw...out of the above options I voted for punching her in the face. ;)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JulyBabies
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2013 at 8:28 AM

Depends on your friendship. If you sent an email and said what you had to say and can get over it, drop it. If you can't get over it, friendship over.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 8:30 AM
11 moms liked this
If your kids at my house and they misbehaving there's time out and then I will spank if that doesn't work. If you knew she spanks and still allowed your kids to stay there then you can't be upset.
Kaelaasmom
by Katie on May. 6, 2013 at 8:30 AM
2 moms liked this

I would call the cops and never see her again. Nobody assaults my child.

CafeMom Tickers
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured