The potential adoptive parents are being really pushy and I am having second thoughts. update
I am 27 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I have been considering adoption and working with an agency. I have picked out a couple to adopt the baby in the event that I do choose adoption. I have been honest with them from the get go that I plan to let them adopt the baby but as this is my first child, I don't know how I will feel when I have her.
I started looking into adoption because while I could afford to take care of her, I worry about her being raised by only one parent. Her father has stated that he will have nothing to do with her. He moved and I have no idea where he is. At the same time, I think about all the support I have, my parents, sisters, brother and friends and I think I probably could do it.
At the same time, the potential adoptive parents (PAP) have been really pushy, they have mentioned about being in the delivery room and how they have talked to the hospital about getting their own room to have the baby in while in the hospital (which apparently the hospital does do, for a fee) but they never even talked to me about it. They know that nothing is final yet I feel like they are trying to make me feel like the decsion has already been made, like the baby is already theirs and she isn't. It just feels really disrespectful. They have been through 2 other failed attempts to adopt so maybe they are just hoping I do go through with the adoption but it rubs me the wrong way.
Even if I do give the baby up for adoption, I don't want them in the delivery room and I will want to spend the 2 days in the hospital with the baby.
For the record, they haven't given me anything besides meeting for a few meals together that they paid for. They have not paid my medical expenses, I have insurance and have paid the co payments. The agreement is if the adoption is final, they will then pay me back for all my medical.
Like I said, I am really feeling like I should keep the baby. If I do, how do I go about telling them? Do I tell the agency and they tell them or should I tell them?
I just logged back on to find that this post has be featured saying "backtracking on her adoption decision". I do NOT appreciate that. I am not backtracking and I haven't changed my mind. I told the PAP and the adoption agency that I was not 100% sure I would go through with the adoption. I chose the parents but it was specifically said that they are the people I choose IF I choose to go through with the adoption. This is the attitude I hate about adoption in this county. The second a woman looks into adoption she is treated like the baby is already someone else's, as the PAPs did. And if she decides not to adopt she is treated as though she is going back on her word or something.
After talking with my mom I have decided to keep my baby. I will be calling the agency in the morning since I it already after 5 and they will be closed.