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Last night we had a party to announce my pregnancy....and we ended up not announcing it. D

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 125 Replies

Last night we had a little family get together party type thing.

The plan was to announce that in pregnant.

We wanted to announce it with everyone there because it will be my mil and fils first biological grandchild.

I have a 7 year old. She was 3 when DH and I married. So no one in his family got to be a part of the whole baby thing. I mean, they've spoiled her rotten and love her to death but I know it would be a big deal to them, especially mil, to have a grand baby that she got to see as a baby. And I didn't want to hurt anyone's feeling by not telling them first so we wanted to do it all at once.

Well......I'm 27 weeks pregnant with our son.....


We wanted to tell 8 weeks ago, but sil went to the doctor for what she thought was a really heavy period and found out she was having an early miscarriage, she didn't know she was pregnant but they had been ttc

So I figured we had plenty of time.
I wanted to give her a little time before Announcing.

I told her in advance what the party was for. She didn't tell her husband or anyone else

Everyone got to the party.

We had everything set up

I go to the kitchen to get the bowl of punch and find sil bawling.

I tried to calm her down.

She is still devestated and begged me not to talk about it or announce it that night.

Well I felt bad. I'm overly emotional. She had me crying too. SO I talked to DH and we didn't announce it.


I've done great at covering my stomach in clothes so that I don't look pregnant.

I was a size 12
I didn't want to buy maternity clothes so I just found jeans at goodwill that were large enough to go over my tummy

But..look at my stomach....it's impossible to hide it now..I'm surprised no one asked anything last night but I have always had a chubby belly and I wore a flowy dress....

Sil is apperantly angry with me and thinks that I shouldnt have a family get together to announce it.

I don't want to hurt her.
But if we don't tell them soon then they will end up finding out when they get a call telling them I'm in labor.


I kind of think sil is being a little selfish. And I I kinda feel bad for thinking that.

I know she's hurting and I can't imagine how much. But doesn't the family deserve to know that they are going to be welcoming a new member in?


We can't keep hiding it.
I am CLEARLY pregnant. At this rate they won't know until the baby is here!

I know this is hard for sil. But this is suppose to be a fun and exciting time for us and our family and we haven't even been able to tell anyone


I don't want to be insensitive. But I feel like I've gone above what I needed to do to accommodate sil.
Whether she likes it or not this baby is coming. I know she's grieving,
But I'm pregnant and think the family deserves to know.

What would you do???.


eta im announcing t6nite over a dinner
Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 3:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
phoebe81
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 3:25 PM
25 moms liked this

Um, this is going to sound harsh, but you just need to tell them. Your SIL will have to get over it (the telling part, not the horrible thing that happened to her.) That baby is coming and what are you going to do? Hide the baby from your SIL so she doesn't break down? It's a reality that she's going to have to face. If you want to make a big announcement, I would plan another one and just tell your SIL that if it's too difficult, you understand if she doesn't want to be present.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 6, 2013 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh my god. You having a baby does not prevent her from having one. She sounds unhinged.

Just tell everyone. You don't need to make a federal case out of it

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 6, 2013 at 3:26 PM
18 moms liked this
I would have told at my party like planned. She was warned what would happen, she could have stayed home.
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2013 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I think she's going to have to get over it. It sucks what happened but that isn't your fault. You should be able to enjoy your pregnancy. And really, what exactly does she think you're going to do, hold the baby in?
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lauren.m
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2013 at 3:28 PM
Quoting phoebe81:

Um, this is going to sound harsh, but you just need to tell them. Your SIL will have to get over it (the telling part, not the horrible thing that happened to her.) That baby is coming and what are you going to do? Hide the baby from your SIL so she doesn't break down? It's a reality that she's going to have to face. If you want to make a big announcement, I would plan another one and just tell your SIL that if it's too difficult, you understand if she doesn't want to be present.



I agree with this.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 6, 2013 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree that your sil is being a little selfish. i know its hard for her and she is hurting but she should be able to put that aside and let you and your family be happy and celebrate this blessing. 

i had an early miscarriage in sept and it was the hardest thing i have ever been through. I was devastated. A week later, my best friend called to tell me she was pregnant and told me she felt really bad telling me, and felt bad that she was so happy when i was hurting so badly. i felt horrible that she felt that way. did it hurt, yes. did i put my feelings aside and support my friend, absolutely. i was genuinely happy for her even through my grief. you sil should be able to do the same. i would never ask my friend to hide her pregnancy or hide her happiness from me.

maybe you should announce it to the family without sil. they need to know and you are very far along at this point. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2013 at 3:30 PM
I won't be carrying all the way to 40 weeks...I'm being induced at 38.

I don't know what she expects...he's coming one way or another...I can't stop that...


Quoting quickbooksworm:

I think she's going to have to get over it. It sucks what happened but that isn't your fault. You should be able to enjoy your pregnancy. And really, what exactly does she think you're going to do, hold the baby in?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 6, 2013 at 3:30 PM
She needs to get over it. In 13 weeks or so you are going to have a baby. It sounds like she didn't even know she was pregnant anyways...you can't hide a baby lol. I'm 26 weeks:)
JulyBabies
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2013 at 3:30 PM

You have been more than accommodating to her feelings...now time to express yours, excitement! 

Hanab818
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2013 at 3:31 PM
You need to tell them. I get sil is in pain but you didn't cause her MC she can still mourn while being happy for you. If this is mil and fil 1st bio grand baby they will want to bask in the happy pregnancy times as well as the baby moments.
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