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Posted by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:19 PM
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I'm 16 and 39 weeks pregnant. The father and I were together for 3 1/2 years. He is 19 and lives about 1 1/2 away. Our relationship was always up and down, but we talked through the problems and figured everything out. We never broke up. We were eachother's first and we started dating while we were young. 

Alex always brought up that he wasn't happy because I wasn't allowed to stay at his house for more then two days at a time, even though I was pregnant. My parent's did give him an option to stay at our house, but he has a good job where he couldn't move.

He felt that our relationship wasn't working because we only saw eachother maybe once a week. I also noticed that he was curious about other women and I told him if he ever thought about cheating, then to just break up. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Well.... Thursday night he broke up with me. Nine days before my due date. He said he wasn't happy because he never seen me, and it was like we were friends now anyway. 

A few days befor we were talking about moving in with eachother when I turned 18. I said I would more then likely move half way because he lives 1 1/2 a half away and I am VERY close with me parents.. That made him upset but I didn't mean any harm!

Alex and I have always been very open and honest with eachother, and I was/am devistated that we are not together anymore.

He said he still cares about me, but he doesn't want to make me sad that he can't come out and see me every time I want him to, and that he can't be here how he wants to be. He also said he will deffinetly still be in Zander and I life and he wants to be friends.

I joked with him about just wanting to try other girls, because I know that is one of the main reasons. He said wanted a break. And I asked if he has done anything with anyone since we broke up and he said he has kissed this girl, and things might go further tonight... 

It hurts, and I know I shouldn't have asked because we are always super honest.

I feel pathetic. He is going to be staying with me at the hospital and will be in the delivery room as well. I am kind of hoping labor will bring us together. I don't know if this is really what he wants, or if he just has cold feet! I don't know! 

He is giving me mixed signals. Example 1: I asked if he took our pictures down in his apartment and he said no I haven't. I wasn't planning on it, why would I? And I said well you usually do when you break up.. Example 2: I told him that he can stay at the hospital but he has the sleep on the couch and not cuddle with me like we originally were. He got mad and said why not? 

I just feel like I am clueless and this is really over. I want to make it work. I love him so much. I guess this is why you don't have relationships young.

So what do you think? Cold feet or the real deal? Do you think he just needs some space or I should just stop hoping? I really need advice. Thank you!

Thank you all so much for all the replies and advice I have gotten here! I am being induced Friday morning and I can not wait to hold my little man. I know everything comes befor him, and that is why I was trying to make it work. I love him to death but he is just not worth it. I called him today and let him know that he better be here for the delivery of his son or he is not getting his last name or being on the birth certificate. He then asked " well how long do you think labor will take? I can get sat,sun,mon,tues,wendsday off but they want me to work from 1-11 on friday. Well Alex, I don't know! I'm being induced at 9 in the morning. How should I know? It could be awhile or it could be fast either way if he isn't there he is not being in Zander's life. Zander should be his first priority.

As for me and him getting back together? It's not going to happen. I have finally reliazed how shitty it was for him to do that. I called him and told him that to! I let him know that he was selfish and rude and only thought about himself. 

I asked him how is fling was going and he said well.. We have only kissed so far but she said she isn't having sex until were in a relationship. I then said are you going to do that? And he said I don't know what I'm going to do. 

Do you wanna know the best part? SHE IS 6 months pregnant!! HA

I flipped. That is the last line. I am giving him a second chance to be a better father then he was a boyfriend. I am cutting off all contact with him. Besides he has to let me know tomorow if they will let him have it off. Then after that I am not talking to him at all until friday. When he gets to the hospital I am not talking to him unles it is needed.

I am finally realizing that I am better then this. I don't deserve to be treated like this. Zander needs at least one great parent in his life and I'm going to be that one. 

On a side note.. I can't wait to meet my little man!

Again thank you all for the advice! I can't believe how many replies I have gotten!

I officially have 1 day and 6 hours until I am at the hospital. I am so nervous but yet excited. I can not believe I will officially be a mother. I would never abort my child. It is my child for Gods sake and it is apart of me. Just because I am having relationship problems does not mean I will not be a good mother. I would already die for my child. I would do anything for him. If that makes me childish, then so be it. I'm putting Alex's and I relationship problems aside and trying to do the right thing for Zander. He deserves a father in his life. I'm not going to take that away from him. As sucky as Alex sounds, he really does want to be a good father to Zander.

I decided the best way for me to move on, is to not text him. I am not going to keep chasing somone that is running away. If it was ment to be, it will be. But after this I don't think it is. I haven't texted him at all since last night. He texted me this morning and told me to call him so I did. He talked for over a half hour about nothing. If he wants to call me then fine, that's cool. But I'm not calling or texting him first anymore. 

He's talking to his work tomorrow to see if he can trade Tuesday and Wendseday to get Friday off. He said he will let me know when he knows.

I'm trying to be civil and friendly with him.  But I'm not going to wait for him. My priority is Zander, not his drama. 

Oh and just so everyone knows. I have 100% support from my parents. The reason I never moved in with Alex was because my parents wouldn't allow it. They thought he was shallow and had a feeling this would happen. Plus, I am a minor. I can not make those decisions. There isn't emancipation in my state. Not even for underaged mothers. I already checked that with a lawyer.

Also, I am homeschooled and I get straight A's. I was never depending on Alex. I plan on graduating early and getting a job in August. 

Again, Thank you all so much for taking your time out and giving me advice. It is appreciated so much! I've been really thinking about all of this lately and your advice has helped. So thank you again.

P.S: Zander says thank you as well

CafeMom Tickers
by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 on May. 6, 2013 at 5:21 PM
15 moms liked this

From the look of this post, your new, and you are going to get eaten alive in here little miss...just saying....

by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:23 PM
7 moms liked this

I have actually been on here for a year. I know there are a lot of rude people, but I have gotten alot of good advice. Which is what I need at the moment. Thank you though!

Quoting Anonymous:

From the look of this post, your new, and you are going to get eaten alive in here little miss...just saying....

CafeMom Tickers
by Anonymous 2 on May. 6, 2013 at 5:23 PM
12 moms liked this

Where are your parents?
by Anonymous 1 on May. 6, 2013 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Even so... its all about what you post, and what information you put out there. GL.

Quoting Samantha.Stetka:

I have actually been on here for a year. I know there are a lot of rude people, but I have gotten alot of good advice. Which is what I need at the moment. Thank you though!

Quoting Anonymous:

From the look of this post, your new, and you are going to get eaten alive in here little miss...just saying....

by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:26 PM
29 moms liked this

Maybe he really does want a break? You guys are still very young. I'm sure part of the reason is the stress of having a baby for you both. If it's meant to be, he'll come around.

Oddly enough, I used that excuse on my now husband... feeling like we're only friends and falling apart, stuff like that. 

Either way, no matter what happens with him, you have yourself and your baby to worry about and that's what should be your main focus right now. If you guys are NOT together when the baby is born, file for child support right away and get custody in order so you don't have issues down the road, just to cover your bases.

Also, nevermind the rude people here. 

by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:26 PM
8 moms liked this
Found a scenario more confusing than area codes. Brava
by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:28 PM
Ugggg,I'm so sorry. Obviously he is not ready for this,unfortunatly:( he was man enough to make a baby with u,but not man enough to take care of responsiblities now. Your so incredibably young which u know of course,and it will b hard. Do u have family to turn to? You will need a lot of help! Finacially,emotionally. When r u due?? What ru having??
by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:29 PM
It sounds like to me that he may not want a kid and you need to move on... But that's just my.opinion.. I've been through the same thing you're going through and it's hard as hell.. But as soon as I let my douchebag of an ex go I found an amazing guy who is stepping in and being the man my.ex shoulda been... Good luck girl.
by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:29 PM
4 moms liked this

Did you post before?I remember reading a post about your parents not wanting you to move out and he didnt want to move in...something like that anyway.If he is kissing on another girl than I dont think he is ready for committment.Give it time,focus on your baby and what you have to do to raise a healthy,happy and well adjusted child.I suggest filing for child support and possibly getting a job and finishing school after baby comes.

by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 5:29 PM
5 moms liked this
Just move on now before you get hurt even worse. He wants to be with other girls and made that known. He said what he said not to be truthful he wants you hurt and jelous it builds his damn ego. Tell him to fuck off
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