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I'm 16 and 39 weeks pregnant. The father and I were together for 3 1/2 years. He is 19 and lives about 1 1/2 away. Our relationship was always up and down, but we talked through the problems and figured everything out. We never broke up. We were eachother's first and we started dating while we were young. 

Alex always brought up that he wasn't happy because I wasn't allowed to stay at his house for more then two days at a time, even though I was pregnant. My parent's did give him an option to stay at our house, but he has a good job where he couldn't move.

He felt that our relationship wasn't working because we only saw eachother maybe once a week. I also noticed that he was curious about other women and I told him if he ever thought about cheating, then to just break up. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Well.... Thursday night he broke up with me. Nine days before my due date. He said he wasn't happy because he never seen me, and it was like we were friends now anyway. 

A few days befor we were talking about moving in with eachother when I turned 18. I said I would more then likely move half way because he lives 1 1/2 a half away and I am VERY close with me parents.. That made him upset but I didn't mean any harm!

Alex and I have always been very open and honest with eachother, and I was/am devistated that we are not together anymore.

He said he still cares about me, but he doesn't want to make me sad that he can't come out and see me every time I want him to, and that he can't be here how he wants to be. He also said he will deffinetly still be in Zander and I life and he wants to be friends.

I joked with him about just wanting to try other girls, because I know that is one of the main reasons. He said wanted a break. And I asked if he has done anything with anyone since we broke up and he said he has kissed this girl, and things might go further tonight... 

It hurts, and I know I shouldn't have asked because we are always super honest.

I feel pathetic. He is going to be staying with me at the hospital and will be in the delivery room as well. I am kind of hoping labor will bring us together. I don't know if this is really what he wants, or if he just has cold feet! I don't know! 

He is giving me mixed signals. Example 1: I asked if he took our pictures down in his apartment and he said no I haven't. I wasn't planning on it, why would I? And I said well you usually do when you break up.. Example 2: I told him that he can stay at the hospital but he has the sleep on the couch and not cuddle with me like we originally were. He got mad and said why not? 

I just feel like I am clueless and this is really over. I want to make it work. I love him so much. I guess this is why you don't have relationships young.

So what do you think? Cold feet or the real deal? Do you think he just needs some space or I should just stop hoping? I really need advice. Thank you!

Thank you all so much for all the replies and advice I have gotten here! I am being induced Friday morning and I can not wait to hold my little man. I know everything comes befor him, and that is why I was trying to make it work. I love him to death but he is just not worth it. I called him today and let him know that he better be here for the delivery of his son or he is not getting his last name or being on the birth certificate. He then asked " well how long do you think labor will take? I can get sat,sun,mon,tues,wendsday off but they want me to work from 1-11 on friday. Well Alex, I don't know! I'm being induced at 9 in the morning. How should I know? It could be awhile or it could be fast either way if he isn't there he is not being in Zander's life. Zander should be his first priority.

As for me and him getting back together? It's not going to happen. I have finally reliazed how shitty it was for him to do that. I called him and told him that to! I let him know that he was selfish and rude and only thought about himself. 

I asked him how is fling was going and he said well.. We have only kissed so far but she said she isn't having sex until were in a relationship. I then said are you going to do that? And he said I don't know what I'm going to do. 

Do you wanna know the best part? SHE IS 6 months pregnant!! HA

I flipped. That is the last line. I am giving him a second chance to be a better father then he was a boyfriend. I am cutting off all contact with him. Besides he has to let me know tomorow if they will let him have it off. Then after that I am not talking to him at all until friday. When he gets to the hospital I am not talking to him unles it is needed.

I am finally realizing that I am better then this. I don't deserve to be treated like this. Zander needs at least one great parent in his life and I'm going to be that one. 

On a side note.. I can't wait to meet my little man!

Again thank you all for the advice! I can't believe how many replies I have gotten!

I officially have 1 day and 6 hours until I am at the hospital. I am so nervous but yet excited. I can not believe I will officially be a mother. I would never abort my child. It is my child for Gods sake and it is apart of me. Just because I am having relationship problems does not mean I will not be a good mother. I would already die for my child. I would do anything for him. If that makes me childish, then so be it. I'm putting Alex's and I relationship problems aside and trying to do the right thing for Zander. He deserves a father in his life. I'm not going to take that away from him. As sucky as Alex sounds, he really does want to be a good father to Zander.

I decided the best way for me to move on, is to not text him. I am not going to keep chasing somone that is running away. If it was ment to be, it will be. But after this I don't think it is. I haven't texted him at all since last night. He texted me this morning and told me to call him so I did. He talked for over a half hour about nothing. If he wants to call me then fine, that's cool. But I'm not calling or texting him first anymore. 

He's talking to his work tomorrow to see if he can trade Tuesday and Wendseday to get Friday off. He said he will let me know when he knows.

I'm trying to be civil and friendly with him.  But I'm not going to wait for him. My priority is Zander, not his drama. 

Oh and just so everyone knows. I have 100% support from my parents. The reason I never moved in with Alex was because my parents wouldn't allow it. They thought he was shallow and had a feeling this would happen. Plus, I am a minor. I can not make those decisions. There isn't emancipation in my state. Not even for underaged mothers. I already checked that with a lawyer.

Also, I am homeschooled and I get straight A's. I was never depending on Alex. I plan on graduating early and getting a job in August. 

Again, Thank you all so much for taking your time out and giving me advice. It is appreciated so much! I've been really thinking about all of this lately and your advice has helped. So thank you again.

P.S: Zander says thank you as well

CafeMom Tickers
by on May. 6, 2013 at 5:19 PM
Replies (361-369):
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2013 at 4:35 PM

I hope that you have a happy and healthy baby! Good luck to you :)baby in sling

by Anonymous 80 on May. 10, 2013 at 4:37 PM
Quoting mygirls53:

Just move on now before you get hurt even worse. He wants to be with other girls and made that known. He said what he said not to be truthful he wants you hurt and jelous it builds his damn ego. Tell him to fuck off
Definitely this here without the curse words
by Anonymous 81 on May. 10, 2013 at 4:43 PM

I hope you have a hearty, healthy baby. Hope all goes well for you today Sweetheart.

by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2013 at 10:19 PM

Your baby should be your first priority. I am betting that he has finally realized he hasn't played the field and wants to. Unfortunately my married son did the same thing. They started dating Freshman year in high school and got married two days after they finished their Senior year (in January). They had no jobs, a baby and no home of their own. She also wasn't even 18 yet. I honestly can't believe two years later they are still together. They have grown up a lot in the past three years BUT they still have a lot of growing up and maturing to do.

You sound like in the past few days and weeks you have grown up. Good job for making your son your number one priority. You need to remember that always. He is # 1 and no man should ever take that place. Good luck and keep us posted.

by Scarlet begonias on May. 12, 2013 at 8:22 AM
You're absolutely correct that bashing won't help her situation. But I just can't get over how petty she sounds in her post. I mean complaining about some young ass boy, rather than starting to do what she needs to do for herself and her baby! Her post sounds like a note between two 8th graders in highschool!

Quoting jojo_star:

I completely agree with you. However, she is pregnant, so stating the obvious isn't going to do her any good. She is immature, she's 16, she's a kid. He should have used a condom, he didn't, she's pregnant. I'm sure that by now (I hope at least) she realizes the reality of what she has done and decided to do. But still, bashing her isn't going to make her not pregnant, or make her older or more mature. 

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

Ding ding ding!! I can't believe there hasn't been MORE comments tearing OP a new butthole! I was sooo ready to sit back with popcorn! It's weird, like cafemom bitches had a change of heart... I've never seen a post like this with as many ENCOURAGING, sympathetic responses as this one.

Sorry but I refuse to be one of them because from OP TEXT alone you can tell she's too immature to have a baby! She's worried about her jackass scaredy cat boyfriends rather than her practically-here baby! Grrrr! Wear a fucking condom. And I'm NOT going anon because what's the point? My opinion don't need a filter

Quoting Anonymous:

And this is why you shouldn't get pregnant at 16.

by Anonymous 82 on May. 12, 2013 at 3:34 PM

'm not going to read any comments because I don't want to be influenced by them. In my OPINION it sounds to me like he wants to "have his cake and eat it too" I wouldn't let him be there for the birth. He sounds like he just wants you as a TOY he can use when it doesn't work out with other females or even during times when it does. 

by on May. 12, 2013 at 3:44 PM

I'm a single mother take my advice on this for you and Zander, GIVE HIM YOUR LAST NAME!!!!! 

by Anonymous 83 on May. 12, 2013 at 3:50 PM

Quoting Samantha.Stetka:

I have actually been on here for a year. I know there are a lot of rude people, but I have gotten alot of good advice. Which is what I need at the moment. Thank you though!

Quoting Anonymous:

From the look of this post, your new, and you are going to get eaten alive in here little miss...just saying....

You were 15 and not pregnant and joined a site for Moms?

by Silver Member on May. 12, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I hope your delivery goes smoothly.  Wishing all the best for you and your little man.

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