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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do I not have the right to be upset with my mother? UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies

My mother and I have never seen eye to eye. On anything. No matter how wonderful a guy he is, she's hated every guy I've dated. No matter the decisions I make, that would even make any other mother proud, I'm a fuck up; never good enough. Today she had the gall to tell me she thinks I have bi-polar and borderline personality disorder. I researched it all and I don't fit the mold at all. Not to mention I have spent time (long term) with therapists and I'm pretty sure if they thought I had one/both of these, they'd have said something. 

I don't know what bothers me more. The fact that, if I don't seek help to either have it diagnosed or ruled out, she'll seek custody of my son because I'm 'putting him in danger' (my son has never been in danger; he's safe, loved, well cared for with structure and stability and routine) or the fact that she said all of this in front of my son. He's seven! I told her this is not a conversation to be having in front of my child. Her response? It's not like he understands. You're right, he doesn't. But he's at that age where he asks questions. Maybe not right away, but in a week or even a month from now, he'll bring it up. He'll ask questions; questions I should not have to answer. Next to that, with the way she was talking, it sounds bad (understandable) so now he could easily have it in his head that Grandma thinks there's something wrong with Mommy. Furthermore, he's at the age where he repeats things, and this is not something his friends, teachers, or the neighbors need to hear when he's outdoors playing.

Am I seriously in the wrong for thinking she should have approached me for this conversation without my child around?


UPDATE: My mother just texted me that she apologized for bringing this up in front of my son. That she sometimes underestimates his intelligence and ability to understand things and question what he doesn't understand. She did go on to say that she stands by what she said as a whole.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 9:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 6, 2013 at 9:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I would cut all contact with my mother if she pulled that crap!
babie113
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2013 at 10:00 PM

i would never talk to her again

RachelsMercy
by on May. 6, 2013 at 10:01 PM
O_o


robyann
by on May. 6, 2013 at 10:02 PM
1 mom liked this

you are right, that was not something to be discussed in front of your ds. Sounds like you may need to limit your exposure to your mother, doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2013 at 10:11 PM

I've been slowly distancing myself and DS from her but that seems to just make things worse, which makes me distance myself and DS even more. DS loves and adores her, my grandmother and my brother (who both reside with my mother). We have such a small family as it is and I don't want to take that away from him, but I'm beginning to feel like I have no other choice. DS only sees them two days a week for a couple of hours at a time now, and I only talk to them when I go to pick him up. This is a significant decrease to the four or more times per week he was over there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2013 at 10:16 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 6, 2013 at 10:19 PM

I don't care how small your family is, your priority is your son.  If you were bi- polar or suspected, a therapist would send you to a psychiatrist.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 6, 2013 at 10:21 PM

I'd be pissed! That would be the last conversation I ever had with my mother. Talk with your therapist. Have them write up a letter stating what you have or don't have & what treatments you're on in case your mother tries anything like calling cps.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2013 at 10:24 PM

That's the thing. I haven't been to a therapist in years. I was going for a while for PPD but I'm fine now. I feel great. Next to random things making me cry, but I'm pregnant. Of course there's a chance I'd be emotional from time to time. I'm going to see a therapist just to have it on record in case she tries anything. I also have an appointment to see an attorney tomorrow because she's also pulled the custody card on me because she doesn't like DF.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'd be pissed! That would be the last conversation I ever had with my mother. Talk with your therapist. Have them write up a letter stating what you have or don't have & what treatments you're on in case your mother tries anything like calling cps.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 6, 2013 at 10:25 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd cut ties. You are still seeing them too often. She's unhealthy. Eta: I would never let my mother near my son again if she even mentioned attempting custody. That would lead me to persue a restraining order.
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