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Do I not have the right to be upset with my mother? UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My mother and I have never seen eye to eye. On anything. No matter how wonderful a guy he is, she's hated every guy I've dated. No matter the decisions I make, that would even make any other mother proud, I'm a fuck up; never good enough. Today she had the gall to tell me she thinks I have bi-polar and borderline personality disorder. I researched it all and I don't fit the mold at all. Not to mention I have spent time (long term) with therapists and I'm pretty sure if they thought I had one/both of these, they'd have said something. 

I don't know what bothers me more. The fact that, if I don't seek help to either have it diagnosed or ruled out, she'll seek custody of my son because I'm 'putting him in danger' (my son has never been in danger; he's safe, loved, well cared for with structure and stability and routine) or the fact that she said all of this in front of my son. He's seven! I told her this is not a conversation to be having in front of my child. Her response? It's not like he understands. You're right, he doesn't. But he's at that age where he asks questions. Maybe not right away, but in a week or even a month from now, he'll bring it up. He'll ask questions; questions I should not have to answer. Next to that, with the way she was talking, it sounds bad (understandable) so now he could easily have it in his head that Grandma thinks there's something wrong with Mommy. Furthermore, he's at the age where he repeats things, and this is not something his friends, teachers, or the neighbors need to hear when he's outdoors playing.

Am I seriously in the wrong for thinking she should have approached me for this conversation without my child around?

UPDATE: My mother just texted me that she apologized for bringing this up in front of my son. That she sometimes underestimates his intelligence and ability to understand things and question what he doesn't understand. She did go on to say that she stands by what she said as a whole.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2013 at 9:54 PM
Replies (11-15):
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2013 at 10:26 PM

That's not right. I would tell her we could talk again in person when she learns some boundaries.  Otherwise its phone only (if that).

by Anonymous 4 on May. 6, 2013 at 11:41 PM


Smart move. I'd still cut ties with her. She seems like the unbalanced one. Good luck.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's the thing. I haven't been to a therapist in years. I was going for a while for PPD but I'm fine now. I feel great. Next to random things making me cry, but I'm pregnant. Of course there's a chance I'd be emotional from time to time. I'm going to see a therapist just to have it on record in case she tries anything. I also have an appointment to see an attorney tomorrow because she's also pulled the custody card on me because she doesn't like DF.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'd be pissed! That would be the last conversation I ever had with my mother. Talk with your therapist. Have them write up a letter stating what you have or don't have & what treatments you're on in case your mother tries anything like calling cps.




by on May. 6, 2013 at 11:43 PM

Quoting robyann:

you are right, that was not something to be discussed in front of your ds. Sounds like you may need to limit your exposure to your mother, doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 10:24 AM


by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:23 PM

You have described my mother exactly, I think that my mother has some serious issues. She hasn't threatened custody but she says horrible things to me all the time, when I was pregnant with my son, she told me she'd never love my son as much as she loves my daughter. She says mean stuff to me all the time, like how "horribly messy" my home is, it's not messy AT ALL, lol, it's just some toys around when she visits (once a week or two weeks) in the morning because the kids have been playing! I clean my home spotless every night before bed. I swear, the lady is freaking crazy. I told her she needed to see someone (after se told me to!) to get evaluated, not me, because she has to be bipolar or multipule personality or something, one minute she will be really sweet and give everyone lots of gifts and such then the next minute she'll say I asked her to buy all that stuff and am taking advantage of her, I don;t ask her for anything!

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