Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

is his anger validated ?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
My ex, T, is the biological father of my son. In almost 8 years, ds only 'knew' him for about 3 weeks, months before he turned 4 years old. He's almost 8 now. I was with another guy, B for 5 years. This guy was here before ds meet his real dad and stayed around afterwards. We aren't dating anymore, but he still comes around for ds, takes him out, they have sleep overs, etc... Somewhat like a dad having visitations, but we never went to court over it.

My son started calling him dad about 3 years into our relationship. we spoke to him about it, he knows the truth, but he said that he was there and he was his dad... B felt comfortable with it. If anything happened to us, he'd still want to be in his life, loves him like his own...

My son went to visit T's mother who told him that my son calls the other guy 'dad'.... And now he's pissed. Is his anger validated? Part of me says yes, I wouldn't want my son calling some random female mom.... The other part of me says no, if his real dad was involved, he'd be known as dad. 3 months out of 8 years- you're nothing but a stranger really.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 11:24 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Perfect.Pixie
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 11:26 AM
No, it's his own fault.
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on May. 7, 2013 at 11:27 AM

 This is what happens when you have many 'baby daddys'

supercarp
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:28 AM
1 mom liked this

This question makes me sick to my stomach.

JLS2388
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:29 AM

I get what you are saying but B is not some random guy. If you had only been around your sone 3 weeks total and there was a woman who had been there for him for 5 years, wouldn't you expect him to call her mom?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 11:30 AM
Lol technically I only have 1... Then I dated the other guy, B. No one before him or after him. He wanted to move forward with the relationship (marriage) and honestly, I'm against marriage, so we split on good terms. I doubt I'll get into a relationship in the next 4 or so years.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 This is what happens when you have many 'baby daddys'

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on May. 7, 2013 at 11:31 AM

 You had your child calling another man daddy. Then real dad wants to be in the picture, and now there is a problem. Yes?

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol technically I only have 1... Then I dated the other guy, B. No one before him or after him. He wanted to move forward with the relationship (marriage) and honestly, I'm against marriage, so we split on good terms. I doubt I'll get into a relationship in the next 4 or so years.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 This is what happens when you have many 'baby daddys'

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 11:33 AM
That's why its hard for me to separate my feelings from it. I couldn't imagine not being in my sons life to the point where he basically picked the woman who plays the mother role... Its a decision that my son made, that had his father been around, I don't think it would've ever really came up.

I feel guilty but not completely

Quoting JLS2388:

I get what you are saying but B is not some random guy. If you had only been around your sone 3 weeks total and there was a woman who had been there for him for 5 years, wouldn't you expect him to call her mom?

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2013 at 11:34 AM

He has a right to whatever emotions he is feeling.  You answer your own question: you'd be upset, too.

BUT

It is WHERE he is directing this anger that matters.  If he uses it as a wake up call and tries to be more involved with his own son, good.  If he attacks you and DS and is just nasty with no positive changes, then he is in wrong?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 11:38 AM
I didn't tell ds to call him dad. It began with him introducing him as dad, then every so often, he'd say, "may I play the game, dad?" Or something along those lines... When it became consistent, we both sat down with him, told him that he didn't have to call him that, he could call him by his name as he always has been or even make a special nickname for him. Ds said that B was there like a dad, that he spends time with him, etc and he wanted to call him dad. He goes back and forth, between his real name and dad.

Real dad doesn't really want to be in the picture. He's just mad that ds is calling someone else with what should be his title.

Ds explains it as, T is my real dad and he gave me to my mom, and B is my dad too. Not my real dad, but my dad who's here.



Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 You had your child calling another man daddy. Then real dad wants to be in the picture, and now there is a problem. Yes?


Quoting Anonymous:

Lol technically I only have 1... Then I dated the other guy, B. No one before him or after him. He wanted to move forward with the relationship (marriage) and honestly, I'm against marriage, so we split on good terms. I doubt I'll get into a relationship in the next 4 or so years.


Quoting MrsDavidB25:


 This is what happens when you have many 'baby daddys'


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 7, 2013 at 11:39 AM
YOU'VE POSTED THIS BEFORE! AGAIN AND AGAIN! !! YOU'RE GOING TO GET THE SAME DAMN REPLIES!!!
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN