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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If it were you...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
Last year, a friend I had known for 4 years asked me to be his girlfriend. I knew it was coming and I was so excited! We dated for several months and decided to move in together. The only problem was he lived 11 hours away. We decided since I had an apartment and a dead end job (even though I loved it!) and he had a house and a job with a secure future, that I should be the one to move. After family problems and other problems I thought a fresh start would be good for us. I have a 7 year old already, and I always dreamed of my children growing up close to my family, attending the same school that the past 4 generations had already attended, and living in a place where everyone knew everyone. I realized what I was giving up would be hard to give up, but I thought if for the best. Now that we are expecting, I realize that my dreams for my children haven't changed, and I feel it even stronger than before. I'm a SAHM and I don't have any friends here except for my DF's friends and his boss' family. He told me that we could move if it would make me happy, and in all honesty it would! But, if we moved and he were unhappy, I'd be unhappy as well. His house will be paid off next year. He farms for someone else, and if he stays here he will own a portion of the farm someday. He LOVES his job. Would I be wrong to bring it up again as a suggestion? Or is it ok to discuss it? I would hate for him to be unhappy, but at the same time, I feel like my family is suffering. My mom was real close to DS until we moved, and now it's killing her just knowing that the baby won't be close to her like DS is/was. What would you do if it was you? Please keep things civil, respectful and honest. Thanks!
Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Bump....anyone?
mlg1989
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Watashi wa anata o aishite Mugiwara Kaizokuban <3
Yesterday at 11:49 PM
by ZombieMegg on May. 7, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Maybe just have a couple times a year where your family can come stay for a week or even a weekend so that way they have a time they can look forward to and plan fun things to do while here?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 1:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd stay put.  Just because it was good for you and four generations doesn't mean that's all the good there is.  Make more time for visits throughout the year, but don't ask DF to give up all that he has worked for.  Step out of your comfort zone (you already did anyway) and compromise.

NiCo86
by on May. 7, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd stay put.
prinzesa_edith
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

stay, your giving up a house and secure future just so your mom can see the baby?just make new friends and visit family more often, and skype

bleumonster
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:11 PM
Schools close for various reasons. I wouldn't base wanting to move for that reason. Being close to family is different. Talk frankly to your husband. Make a list of pros and cons. Talk with your family. Maybe give this place a chance and try to make friends and put down roots. It's a hard decision and you should take time and consideration before you make it.
Saerise
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:14 PM

Sounds like you are very lonely. Before deciding to move, I would see about pushing yourself to make some connections and forging some new friendships. Finding something that you enjoy doing, or perhaps even a part-time job. 

Dinimon
by NoCookiesForYou on May. 7, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I think you should stay but organize regular visits on both sides. It sounds like he worked hard for what you have and it would be a shame to lose it all.
phoebe81
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:19 PM

I would definitely bring it up with your husband for consideration. Homes can be sold and new jobs can be found, but lost time is gone forever. Your family (both your parents and the family you are building with your husband) should be your main priority and if you truly believe being close to your parents is best for you and your children, you should at least be able to discuss it with your husband.

alexsmomma06
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:20 PM
I would stay.
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