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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

SIDS (cry fest ahead)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 72 Replies

a poem that my old high school friend wrote on facebook. her beautiful daughter passed away from SIDS back in January. It is so painful to see her fb and the pics and poems she writes. I still dont understand SIDS and how we dont know why this happens


Untitled:
Memories of you remain crystal clear in my foggy brain; But your the furthest one away from me; In the physical at least
I can see you clear as day, shining, as my worst nightmare comes true; Your the only light there is; Other than you, im darkness
Your memory can never fade, not even a little; for You, is all i care to remember; The rest doesnt mean a thing
Life has taken a loss, the world is forever changed; It was not ready for your presence; Because you were perfection
Too good to live this life of heartache and pain; And still, selfishly, if it meant that you were her with me again; I would take you with me on my journey
Protection, babies need protection; Primarily from their mother or caretaker; And i could not protect you
And you were taken from me; At no more than 10 pounds; And all I could do was stand there, helpless
Looking into the forever closed eyes of my beautiful daughter; Cradling my lifeless baby; Hoping that i would eventually wake up to the comfort of your cry
And i will still wait for that moment forever; Knowing that it will never come; But i will never give up hope
Watching your 2 foot 6 inch casket be dropped down into the cold ground on January 7th 2013; Caused a pain that i didnt even know a person had the ability to feel; A pain that i didnt even know existed 
And i dont wish that type of pain on the Devil himself; December 31st 2012 was the worst day ever created, hands down; And i could have preserved your life
And as your mother, Xxxxx Xxxxx, I am eternally sorry to you; I made a bad decision as your mother that day; And that decision now leaves me in darkness and alone, without you, my baby
And i truly dont know where you are; And i think that is one of the hardest things to deal with; Your too little to send me a sign that your OK
So I can only hope that heaven exists and that you made it there safe and sound;
To continue to be the angel that you already were; And if your there, I hope you recognize me when we meet again
You were only here for 58 days; I don’t know how much you will remember; 
I just hope you remember who I am and how in love with you I was, anyone will tell you
Obsessed, I was obsessed with You; You just amazed me every second of every day;
You were undefeated in staring contests but it was so much fun trying to beat you
And when I was pregnant, all I kept saying was; I just cant wait to meet my daughter for the first time; And then there you were, on Xxxxxxx, 2012 at 2:48 am weighing in at 7 lbs 3 oz, 21 inches long 
And I couldn’t believe it; I couldn’t get over how beautiful you were; And how you just stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever
And now you are gone and there is no guarantee that I will ever see you again; 
And it is terrifying; Terrifying to think that you are by yourself right now or surrounded by strangers
And I cant come and get you, rescue you; Or kiss you' Or ever have the chance to hear you call me mommy
My hands shake right now as I write this; And the tears are always uncontrollable when it comes to you; I would give my life in a heartbeat with no hesitation if it meant I could be with you again
And believe that; Because I wouldn’t even have to think twice; thats how much I genuinely miss you and I love you always

Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 2:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on May. 7, 2013 at 2:12 PM

 I can't read it.  No crying at work.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 2:14 PM

i hear you. too much


Quoting Lunarprancer:

 I can't read it.  No crying at work.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 2:16 PM
:'( what a sad story. I can't imagine the feeling. My little guy is my world at almost 11 months. My friend lost his baby at 3 months also from SIDS. She was the same age as my baby and we joked that they would get married. We havent seen the couple since she died.
kansasmom1978
by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:18 PM

Oh so sad! She blames herself. I can't imagine.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 2:18 PM


so sorry :( its terrifying isnt it? I am on baby #3 and the paranoia is getting worse and worse. I never knew anyone that this happened to until now and its just scary as hell :(

Quoting Anonymous:

:'( what a sad story. I can't imagine the feeling. My little guy is my world at almost 11 months. My friend lost his baby at 3 months also from SIDS. She was the same age as my baby and we joked that they would get married. We havent seen the couple since she died.



LuLuThatsWho
by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Skimmed... Can't read it... Stuff like this messes me up for days.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 2:21 PM
Oh that's really sad :'(
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 2:21 PM

She says that she could have prevented it.  She clearly blames herself.  Do you know why that might be?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2013 at 2:22 PM


she is just all messed up. She went to the store and left the baby with her so. Theres nothing that could have been done or prevented. They were great parents. Super sad

Quoting Anonymous:

She says that she could have prevented it.  She clearly blames herself.  Do you know why that might be?



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2013 at 2:22 PM

  Almost all mother's who've lost children blame themselves in some way. It's normal. I took my daughter off of the vent and I feel like I murdered her half the time


Quoting Anonymous:

She says that she could have prevented it.  She clearly blames herself.  Do you know why that might be?



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