Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Special Delicate Snowflakes

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 204 Replies
8 moms liked this

Couple of posts really have me questioning the thinking of some of the special needs parents in this group...

Here are some of their contentions:

1) Special needs student should not miss a field trip for failing to meet classroom behavior expectations.

2)  Mom of special needs child should not be held financially responsible for the damage her child did at the neighbor's home because she is already burdened by his needs.

Really?  At what point do we not hold these kids and or parents accountable?  Yes they have extra challenges, but are we truly helping them by enabling and excusing bad behavior?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 8, 2013 at 9:17 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
spooky415
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:19 AM
9 moms liked this
i kinda agree with you. however, if a special needs kid damaged something at my home, i probably wouldn't expect her to pay. sometimes their behavior can be unpredictable and i mean, hell. i wasn't special needs and i broke lots of shit at friend's houses when i was growing up. kids break stuff sometimes. you take that risk by inviting them over.

as for the first one: children with special needs DO need to be held accountable for their actions-but the standards for them should be within reason according to their abilities.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
thefiregoddess
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:19 AM
4 moms liked this
Agrees. But i think the loss of physical activity should NOT be an option for punishment. Kids need all the exercise they can get.
starlight91
by on May. 8, 2013 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Agreed.

firespurity
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:22 AM
2 moms liked this
They should be held accountable within their ability. Sorry not all cases are alike, but there should be a straight forward IEP that outlines the child's capabilities and expectations. These are periodically reviewed so they can grow with the child.

Quoting spooky415:

i kinda agree with you. however, if a special needs kid damaged something at my home, i probably wouldn't expect her to pay. sometimes their behavior can be unpredictable and i mean, hell. i wasn't special needs and i broke lots of shit at friend's houses when i was growing up. kids break stuff sometimes. you take that risk by inviting them over.



as for the first one: children with special needs DO need to be held accountable for their actions-but the standards for them should be within reason according to their abilities.
ElitestJen
by on May. 8, 2013 at 9:24 AM
15 moms liked this

The problem is not with not holding them accountable.  There's always room for grace.  The problem is THEM expecting to not be held accountable. That breeds entitlement and crippled people. 


Bethsunshine
by Emerald Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:25 AM
I agree.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 8, 2013 at 9:25 AM
6 moms liked this

Okay, let me make a few points. The first post you referred to was mine, and it wasnt a field trip, it was field day. My son worked REALLY hard, and still fell a little short. He has impulse control, im sorry if you dont understand that. He DIDNT FAIL to meet expectations, but he was scared that all his hard work would go out the window, if he got one more strike. So yeah, I let him lay out of school. Do i need to link the post so people can read the whole thing? You FAILED to even TRY and put all the information here.

My ADHD son hasnt ever damaged anything, but if he had, i would pay for it. My 3 year old (now 6) put a hole through my moms new tv, and I bought her a new one. I do take responsability for what my kids do.

here is the post for anyone who cares to know what REALLY happened.

http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18476280/I_expect_to_be_bashed_for_this_but_I_feel_like_I_had_to_it_wasnt_fair_2nd_Edit?highlight=229765258#post229765258

Pink.Sunshine.
by on May. 8, 2013 at 9:25 AM

It depends on the severity of their disability.

funlovinlady
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't understand the " make my child the exception to the rules" mentality. My son has issues of his own and we are finally getting the school on board with holding him accountable for his actions, I couldn't stand that he always got a free pass and expected it from us at home, no I'm sorry it doesn't work that way.  I mean really what's going to happen when these kids go into the real world and their employers don't coddle them. 

.Milfshake.
by Platinum Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this

 agree 100%


Quoting ElitestJen:

The problem is not with not holding them accountable.  There's always room for grace.  The problem is THEM expecting to not be held accountable. That breeds entitlement and crippled people. 

 


 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)