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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He wants me to be a SAHM

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And I don't want to be.

My fiancé and I have discussed this several times and I've told him I could never be a SAHM, some women can but I can't.

He said he was ok with that, that he would support me whatever I chose.

He hints around from time to time that it would be better if I was a SAHM and each and every time I tell him no, I want to work.

Now he's talking this move to lousiana and he mentions again that I could stay home and once again I tell him no, I'll find a job there.

I don't know what else to say to him that shows him I won't be a SAHM.
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by on May. 8, 2013 at 9:52 AM
Replies (11-20):
jillbailey26
by on May. 8, 2013 at 9:59 AM

I'd reiterate that, but put in more feelings with it.  That while you would feel like you're not contributing, you would also feel miserable and unfulfilled.  Also show him you understand that he wants this of you, but it just isn't possible and you would appreciate it if he cut the crap :)

Quoting Roxygurl:

Yes! That and I'd feel like I wasn't contributing to the household. That I was raised to be very dependent and not rely on anyone else.

Quoting jillbailey26:

Have you given him the reasons?  Like, how you actually are unable to because you'd be miserable and you'd go crazy (or whatever your reasons are).  Instead of "no, I refuse to."



"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Thanks, that may help him understand why I don't want to be a SAHM.

Quoting jillbailey26:

I'd reiterate that, but put in more feelings with it.  That while you would feel like you're not contributing, you would also feel miserable and unfulfilled.  Also show him you understand that he wants this of you, but it just isn't possible and you would appreciate it if he cut the crap :)

Quoting Roxygurl:

Yes! That and I'd feel like I wasn't contributing to the household. That I was raised to be very dependent and not rely on anyone else.



Quoting jillbailey26:

Have you given him the reasons?  Like, how you actually are unable to because you'd be miserable and you'd go crazy (or whatever your reasons are).  Instead of "no, I refuse to."


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
danijean
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Sorry if you took my comment as rude, it wasn't meant to be at all.


Quoting Roxygurl:

Yes I am a nanny but I don't consider it basically a SAHM. I have to get up at a certain time every day, just like any other job. I have things I need to get done during the day, just like any other job. I get a paycheck, just like any other job.



I like it because I can do this and not have to worry about daycare. My kid comes with me.




Quoting danijean:

Aren't you a nanny? That's just like a SAHM just with other peoples kids and you get paid! Do what makes you happy, being a SAHM isn't for everyone.

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Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:08 AM
1 mom liked this
Noooo not at all. I just wanted to point out its not the same as being a SAHM.

Quoting danijean:

Sorry if you took my comment as rude, it wasn't meant to be at all.




Quoting Roxygurl:

Yes I am a nanny but I don't consider it basically a SAHM. I have to get up at a certain time every day, just like any other job. I have things I need to get done during the day, just like any other job. I get a paycheck, just like any other job.





I like it because I can do this and not have to worry about daycare. My kid comes with me.






Quoting danijean:

Aren't you a nanny? That's just like a SAHM just with other peoples kids and you get paid! Do what makes you happy, being a SAHM isn't for everyone.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
owl0210
by Emerald Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Those sound like red flags for sure.

Quoting EmilysMom2010:

I would definitely not be getting married until this can get figured out.



Quoting Anonymous:

Hmm, doesn't want you to work and moving to Louisiana to isolate you. I would be running far away from the altar.
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MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on May. 8, 2013 at 10:10 AM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Being a SAHM is career suicide.

 Some people are pefectly happy not having a career.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 8, 2013 at 10:11 AM

eventually everyone has to have a career. Life is never guaranteed.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Being a SAHM is career suicide.

 Some people are pefectly happy not having a career.


MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on May. 8, 2013 at 10:11 AM

 I don't see the issue. Move to LA, and start looking for work if that's what you want.

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on May. 8, 2013 at 10:11 AM

 What? No, some women never have a 'career' They may have jobs here and there, but not a career.

Quoting Anonymous:

eventually everyone has to have a career. Life is never guaranteed.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Being a SAHM is career suicide.

 Some people are pefectly happy not having a career.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 8, 2013 at 10:13 AM

well that's sad

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 What? No, some women never have a 'career' They may have jobs here and there, but not a career.

Quoting Anonymous:

eventually everyone has to have a career. Life is never guaranteed.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Being a SAHM is career suicide.

 Some people are pefectly happy not having a career.


 


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