Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Well. That was awkward. The STB ex-wife just came by.... ---Quick edit added!!! --- Edit #2 added

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Yes. His soon to be ex wife came to our house today.

They have been separated for 2.5 years, I have lived here with him for over a year. They were in no hurry to divorce because all she wanted to do was take his mothers & his money. It kind of sat and festered for a while, they didnt speak for about a year and back in January.... BAM... she contacted him and let him know he needed to get divorce papers to her before the 15th of May.

Stoked, he had them drafted the next day, they got sent to her the middle of February. She took it upon herself TODAY to bring them back to him to make final adjustments. No phone call. Nothing. She just showed up.

He has been friendly, he has been extremely accommodating to her. She moved out of this house 2.5 years ago. She pulls up in the driveway like she fucking owns the place and just WALKS in the house. Seriously?

FIRST he wasnt even here, I was in the bedroom finishing up laundry and I hear "Hello? I'm home! *giggle*"
I thought it was one of our friends and I said while walking out "Bitch please, then get your ass up here and help me put his shit away, then!" and about fell backwards. I didn't recognize this person. I yelled "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" .... and it clicked. I'd seen ONE picture of her before, and I about had a heart attack.

She said "Hi ____, I'm ____. Shacking up with my husband going well?"

First. We had no idea this female even knew I existed. A little lookie-loo at facebook would tell her, but we were honestly under the impression that she didn't care or do that shit.

Second. She's been gone for over 2 years! I've been here for the last year and a half. This is my home now. My name has been added to the mortgage (her name was NEVER on it, he purchased the house BEFORE they were married), he & i make the payments. He & I have made this OUR home! And she just WALKS in. Are you fucking SERIOUS.

THIRD... There is a rumor that she is ENGAGED to someone else! Which is why she suddenly wants the divorce. Which, honestly, was Boyfriends plan. He didnt want her to try and take the things HE worked for BEFORE they were married(the house, his vehicles, etc), So he was patiently waiting for her to find someone else.

As i'm standing there just gaping at her from the top of the stairs, not sure what the hell to even do or say, Boyfriend bursts in and does the same thing. Now, get this: She goes to him and tries to hug and KISS him. He lightly pushed her away and asked her to go outside. I'm still like this at the top of the stairs:


Like, Just in complete shock. haha

They go outside and I ran to the kitchen window to eavesdrop. Because, I'm nosy.... haha


She's all "honey, baby, this and that" .... are you kidding me? What game is she playing? Granted, their marriage was a complete wreck (according to EVERYONE that was around) they were still friends, I am okay with that. I am okay with the fact that maybe in the future they could be friends. But, really? After 2.5 years... she is just going to show up full of honey, babies?

What an emotional wreck for him. My poor guy. He is so mind fucked right now. I'm sort of keeping my distance. After the hour long ordeal was over, I told him I loved him and was here for him if he needed anything. He's taken a walk and such. We usually take walks together in the evening, so I know he is really upset if he went alone.

I just don't know what to do. I'm making jokes, but I really don't know what to do at this point.



Edit--

He was not calling her 'baby' or 'honey' in their conversation outside. He was being very respectful towards her. She was howling about how they belong together and he was calmly telling her that they should've never gotten married just to please their mothers and that he thought that she had realized that almost 3 years ago when they decided to separate.

They do not have children.

She has no rights to OUR house.

He is upset because he carries a lot of guilt that his marriage did not work out. He is a very faithful man and never wanted to be divorced in his life. (Granted no one ever 'wants' to get divorced in their lives, i guess) We have amazing communication and are connected very strongly in every way. Anyone can see it. He is upset because he's worried that this situation today hurt me more than I am showing or letting on. He's scared that she is going to be an issue in the next few months. 

Well, thats all I can think of for this update.

Thank you for the support and advice :-) 


-- Edit #2

Alright, so that is what I get for going to bed and not checking my CM in the morning. haha

I sifted through most of the replies and they're about the same. To those offering empathy & support, thank you very much! To those being negative, well, I would say I am sorry, but I am not.

I'm not a whore. (sings the LMFAO song) I. Am Not. A. Whore.

We are not Christians, so I haven't really read up on what the bible says is okay or not okay for us to do. But I will get right on that.

It's certainly not  a lie that he put me on the mortgage. He (we) refinanced the house last fall. She was never on the mortgage because she had crap for credit and according to him (and his brother and mother) said she always acted fairly shady about the house. He is 35 and has been very lucky financially, which is the only thing that has saved his credit from being destroyed. (He is an entrepreneur and 'flips' businesses)

And, the locks don't need to be changed. They were changed back when he asked her for the divorce. And I believe they were changed again after the door was broken when he & his brother were rough housing a bit too hard. (They're BIG boys haha)

FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT:

SHE DID NOT HAVE A KEY, THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED. IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 9, 2013 at 10:51 PM
Replies (551-560):
rgba
by Ruby Member on May. 11, 2013 at 6:48 AM
Bump!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
emilys802
by Member on May. 11, 2013 at 7:01 AM


you sound like a good sensible person. good luck to you and your so.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes. His soon to be ex wife came to our house today.

They have been separated for 2.5 years, I have lived here with him for over a year. They were in no hurry to divorce because all she wanted to do was take his mothers & his money. It kind of sat and festered for a while, they didnt speak for about a year and back in January.... BAM... she contacted him and let him know he needed to get divorce papers to her before the 15th of May.

Stoked, he had them drafted the next day, they got sent to her the middle of February. She took it upon herself TODAY to bring them back to him to make final adjustments. No phone call. Nothing. She just showed up.

He has been friendly, he has been extremely accommodating to her. She moved out of this house 2.5 years ago. She pulls up in the driveway like she fucking owns the place and just WALKS in the house. Seriously?

FIRST he wasnt even here, I was in the bedroom finishing up laundry and I hear "Hello? I'm home! *giggle*"
I thought it was one of our friends and I said while walking out "Bitch please, then get your ass up here and help me put his shit away, then!" and about fell backwards. I didn't recognize this person. I yelled "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" .... and it clicked. I'd seen ONE picture of her before, and I about had a heart attack.

She said "Hi ____, I'm ____. Shacking up with my husband going well?"

First. We had no idea this female even knew I existed. A little lookie-loo at facebook would tell her, but we were honestly under the impression that she didn't care or do that shit.

Second. She's been gone for over 2 years! I've been here for the last year and a half. This is my home now. My name has been added to the mortgage (her name was NEVER on it, he purchased the house BEFORE they were married), he & i make the payments. He & I have made this OUR home! And she just WALKS in. Are you fucking SERIOUS.

THIRD... There is a rumor that she is ENGAGED to someone else! Which is why she suddenly wants the divorce. Which, honestly, was Boyfriends plan. He didnt want her to try and take the things HE worked for BEFORE they were married(the house, his vehicles, etc), So he was patiently waiting for her to find someone else.

As i'm standing there just gaping at her from the top of the stairs, not sure what the hell to even do or say, Boyfriend bursts in and does the same thing. Now, get this: She goes to him and tries to hug and KISS him. He lightly pushed her away and asked her to go outside. I'm still like this at the top of the stairs:


Like, Just in complete shock. haha

They go outside and I ran to the kitchen window to eavesdrop. Because, I'm nosy.... haha


She's all "honey, baby, this and that" .... are you kidding me? What game is she playing? Granted, their marriage was a complete wreck (according to EVERYONE that was around) they were still friends, I am okay with that. I am okay with the fact that maybe in the future they could be friends. But, really? After 2.5 years... she is just going to show up full of honey, babies?

What an emotional wreck for him. My poor guy. He is so mind fucked right now. I'm sort of keeping my distance. After the hour long ordeal was over, I told him I loved him and was here for him if he needed anything. He's taken a walk and such. We usually take walks together in the evening, so I know he is really upset if he went alone.

I just don't know what to do. I'm making jokes, but I really don't know what to do at this point.



Edit--

He was not calling her 'baby' or 'honey' in their conversation outside. He was being very respectful towards her. She was howling about how they belong together and he was calmly telling her that they should've never gotten married just to please their mothers and that he thought that she had realized that almost 3 years ago when they decided to separate.

They do not have children.

She has no rights to OUR house.

He is upset because he carries a lot of guilt that his marriage did not work out. He is a very faithful man and never wanted to be divorced in his life. (Granted no one ever 'wants' to get divorced in their lives, i guess) We have amazing communication and are connected very strongly in every way. Anyone can see it. He is upset because he's worried that this situation today hurt me more than I am showing or letting on. He's scared that she is going to be an issue in the next few months. 

Well, thats all I can think of for this update.

Thank you for the support and advice :-) 


-- Edit #2

Alright, so that is what I get for going to bed and not checking my CM in the morning. haha

I sifted through most of the replies and they're about the same. To those offering empathy & support, thank you very much! To those being negative, well, I would say I am sorry, but I am not.

I'm not a whore. (sings the LMFAO song) I. Am Not. A. Whore.

We are not Christians, so I haven't really read up on what the bible says is okay or not okay for us to do. But I will get right on that.

It's certainly not  a lie that he put me on the mortgage. He (we) refinanced the house last fall. She was never on the mortgage because she had crap for credit and according to him (and his brother and mother) said she always acted fairly shady about the house. He is 35 and has been very lucky financially, which is the only thing that has saved his credit from being destroyed. (He is an entrepreneur and 'flips' businesses)

And, the locks don't need to be changed. They were changed back when he asked her for the divorce. And I believe they were changed again after the door was broken when he & his brother were rough housing a bit too hard. (They're BIG boys haha)

FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT:

SHE DID NOT HAVE A KEY, THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED. IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 7:05 AM
1 mom liked this

I personally don't think you are a whore, and it's shameful for those women calling you one! If they are legally separated and have been for a while f*ck it. Don't sweat it, she's probably just butt hurt and still pissy that you have what she lost. Women are weird like that, even if she doesn't want him, she doesn't want ANYBODY ELSE to have him either lol.

arwalters
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 7:09 AM
She said 2 1/2 yrs ago


Quoting LAXmom21:

No OP said ex moved out 2 yrs ago she moved in 18 months ago.



Quoting arwalters:

You mean over a year after she left? And I don't think most people would take divorce so lightly without being emotionally affected by it, does not mean he still wants to be with his stb ex, it just means he's moral






Quoting Anonymous:

I think there is a reason he hooked up with you 6 months after she left and is upset right now. i can almost guarantee that she didn't sign the papers.



Tempest41
by on May. 11, 2013 at 8:20 AM

OP_ I'm sorry you've had people bashing you and I actually understand what your going through... My SO and I have been together 10 years next month but he is still married (our situation is finacially we can't afford to pay for a divorece and since IDC about marriage we just let it go)... he hasn't seen her in 9 years they've been living seperately for the last 13 years... You don't automatically get added to the deed or mortgage on a house just because your married, that's not how marriage works... We've made sure that if anything happens to him and they are still married his beneficiaries are listed as our 3 DDs...

IMHO the STB ex sounds crazy, if my SOs showed up in our home and pulled that stunt with me I'd have called the cops...

ysmeine
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 8:20 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm the first wife, and the mother of my ex's kids. Once we separated, I would never have considered him as my husband or walking in his home without knocking. We were divorced a year after separating both of us were with someone else at the time. It did not take a piece of paper to tell us it was over.

bradysmom45
by Member on May. 11, 2013 at 8:54 AM
I'm pretty sure most of you need to go back to reading class! You must read and retain the beginning, middle, and end of a story...BEFOR YOU REPLY! geesh. Everytime I read posts on here there are more stupid replies and questions that if you would actually READ the original post you would know are not pertinent! How frustrating this must be for op!
sandy201282
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

its his fault...he should hv filed years ago....the hell with what she or mumma thinks...theresb a reason he didnt.

CrazyWoman3
by Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:49 AM

Wow! Well obviously this bitch is crazy. I would start locking the doors.lol

kloeesmom
by Member on May. 11, 2013 at 10:16 AM
I am a Christian and I do believe... If I'm up on the New Testament anyway... That it states to love your neighbor (and as I taught my second grade Sunday school class last month that does not mean the guy next door). It also says we are ALL sinners! THAT MEANS YOU CHRISTIANS TOO!!!!! It also states that MY and OP's (whether she believes or not) only judge is Jesus. I really hate it when people think they know how to do my job better than me! I bet Jesus feels the same way about his job!!!

OP from a Christian who never "shacked up" you seem to have a good head on your shoulders! You have every reason to be catty and unreasonable but you are trusting and being very understanding towards your SO! Keep it up! Good luck to both of you and don't listen to Christians that have only read the parts of the bible that tell you what you should and should not do but skipped the really repetitive and important parts!!!


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes. His soon to be ex wife came to our house today.

They have been separated for 2.5 years, I have lived here with him for over a year. They were in no hurry to divorce because all she wanted to do was take his mothers & his money. It kind of sat and festered for a while, they didnt speak for about a year and back in January.... BAM... she contacted him and let him know he needed to get divorce papers to her before the 15th of May.

Stoked, he had them drafted the next day, they got sent to her the middle of February. She took it upon herself TODAY to bring them back to him to make final adjustments. No phone call. Nothing. She just showed up.

He has been friendly, he has been extremely accommodating to her. She moved out of this house 2.5 years ago. She pulls up in the driveway like she fucking owns the place and just WALKS in the house. Seriously?

FIRST he wasnt even here, I was in the bedroom finishing up laundry and I hear "Hello? I'm home! *giggle*"
I thought it was one of our friends and I said while walking out "Bitch please, then get your ass up here and help me put his shit away, then!" and about fell backwards. I didn't recognize this person. I yelled "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" .... and it clicked. I'd seen ONE picture of her before, and I about had a heart attack.

She said "Hi ____, I'm ____. Shacking up with my husband going well?"

First. We had no idea this female even knew I existed. A little lookie-loo at facebook would tell her, but we were honestly under the impression that she didn't care or do that shit.

Second. She's been gone for over 2 years! I've been here for the last year and a half. This is my home now. My name has been added to the mortgage (her name was NEVER on it, he purchased the house BEFORE they were married), he & i make the payments. He & I have made this OUR home! And she just WALKS in. Are you fucking SERIOUS.

THIRD... There is a rumor that she is ENGAGED to someone else! Which is why she suddenly wants the divorce. Which, honestly, was Boyfriends plan. He didnt want her to try and take the things HE worked for BEFORE they were married(the house, his vehicles, etc), So he was patiently waiting for her to find someone else.

As i'm standing there just gaping at her from the top of the stairs, not sure what the hell to even do or say, Boyfriend bursts in and does the same thing. Now, get this: She goes to him and tries to hug and KISS him. He lightly pushed her away and asked her to go outside. I'm still like this at the top of the stairs:


Like, Just in complete shock. haha

They go outside and I ran to the kitchen window to eavesdrop. Because, I'm nosy.... haha


She's all "honey, baby, this and that" .... are you kidding me? What game is she playing? Granted, their marriage was a complete wreck (according to EVERYONE that was around) they were still friends, I am okay with that. I am okay with the fact that maybe in the future they could be friends. But, really? After 2.5 years... she is just going to show up full of honey, babies?

What an emotional wreck for him. My poor guy. He is so mind fucked right now. I'm sort of keeping my distance. After the hour long ordeal was over, I told him I loved him and was here for him if he needed anything. He's taken a walk and such. We usually take walks together in the evening, so I know he is really upset if he went alone.

I just don't know what to do. I'm making jokes, but I really don't know what to do at this point.



Edit--

He was not calling her 'baby' or 'honey' in their conversation outside. He was being very respectful towards her. She was howling about how they belong together and he was calmly telling her that they should've never gotten married just to please their mothers and that he thought that she had realized that almost 3 years ago when they decided to separate.

They do not have children.

She has no rights to OUR house.

He is upset because he carries a lot of guilt that his marriage did not work out. He is a very faithful man and never wanted to be divorced in his life. (Granted no one ever 'wants' to get divorced in their lives, i guess) We have amazing communication and are connected very strongly in every way. Anyone can see it. He is upset because he's worried that this situation today hurt me more than I am showing or letting on. He's scared that she is going to be an issue in the next few months. 

Well, thats all I can think of for this update.

Thank you for the support and advice :-) 


-- Edit #2

Alright, so that is what I get for going to bed and not checking my CM in the morning. haha

I sifted through most of the replies and they're about the same. To those offering empathy & support, thank you very much! To those being negative, well, I would say I am sorry, but I am not.

I'm not a whore. (sings the LMFAO song) I. Am Not. A. Whore.

We are not Christians, so I haven't really read up on what the bible says is okay or not okay for us to do. But I will get right on that.

It's certainly not  a lie that he put me on the mortgage. He (we) refinanced the house last fall. She was never on the mortgage because she had crap for credit and according to him (and his brother and mother) said she always acted fairly shady about the house. He is 35 and has been very lucky financially, which is the only thing that has saved his credit from being destroyed. (He is an entrepreneur and 'flips' businesses)

And, the locks don't need to be changed. They were changed back when he asked her for the divorce. And I believe they were changed again after the door was broken when he & his brother were rough housing a bit too hard. (They're BIG boys haha)

FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT:

SHE DID NOT HAVE A KEY, THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED. IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)