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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm having a major wtf moment with a male elementary school teacher

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My daughter and her friends competed in an academic competition. A new teacher was her team's coach. He is a little wacky and out there, but the kids all love him. They stayed after once a week to work on their projects.
Anywho, we are having a bbq today to celebrate all 3 teams sweeping state, and I am having the kids make a big banner for their coach. They decided to make a list of 10 reasons he's the best coach ever on the banner.

One stood out to me. It says: You massaged us when we needed help. They asked specifically how to spell massage.

I asked the girls what they meant by 'he massaged them', and am getting conflicting answers from them. My dd says he 'massaged the numbers' when they were worried about the budget, and the other said he massaged them to help them relax.

I stopped there, as I don't know how to properly question them about this. I just know it's not sitting right with me.

How do I go about handling this, and am I overreacting by being concerned?

*small update* my dd scribbled out the word massage and put 'helped' in place of it, and they are having a disagreement over it.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Replies (91-98):
thetrollcat
by Meow on May. 12, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Maybe if you didn't reply based on rambling bullshit that isn't related to the topic you might get what others are saying. But go ahead, follow the quacks. If it wobbles like a duck then it's a duck!

Quoting Anonymous:


God, you are a miserable person! Didn't know there were requirements to reply to this post. I wasn't talking to you btw, I quoted truealaskan.

Quoting thetrollcat:

According to the post we are discussing massaging your students, not hugging (casual) or high fucking fives. I'm never surprised people go off the damn topic.

Quoting Anonymous:


I'm an elementary teacher. Students hug me all the time. I never initiate it but I do not push them away or scold them for showing me affection. It makes me happy that the students feel comfortable enough to show affection if they want to. I have never had a complaint from a parent.

Quoting truealaskanmom:

so, you're saying that teachers need to have consent to act in a kind affectionate way with their students?  This is why school fucking sucks now, teachers are scared to death that anything they do will get them in trouble, can't hug your students, better not accidently touch them, or joke around or do anything that could be taken the wrong way by a freaking asshole parent, so now its all boring and it sucks for the kids and for the teachers.  You want your teacher to connect with yout students but they better only do it the way you deem appropriate when what you deem is different then what I deem and what Jonny's mom deems it is a ridiculous nightmare.  Yes bad things happen but that is really the rarity and treating all teachers especially male ones like criminals will help nothing except make sure that good teachers never even join the field.  It is shit like this that makes me really think I may not ever return to the classrooo.  I love hugging my students and making them feel like our class is a family.  Shame shame that we live in such a fucked up world where no good deed goes unpunished. 

Quoting thetrollcat:

I understand what you are saying however, most systems involving interaction with children whether it is paid or volunteer attend some form of workshop or seminar. If they fail to provide these services to workers and volunteers that work with children then boundaries are crossed and lawsuits happen.

This "man" should know better than to approach and touch young girls in a "massaging manner". Infact, due to the number of false claims made, hugging is crossing the border also.

When you are working with children you should behave and act RESPONSIBILITY and WISELY. This man touching the girls (even if innocent) should know better and his OWN fault if he gets in trouble.

Quoting truealaskanmom:

I suggest you think long and hard and make damn sure you know exactly what they mean before you ruin a teacher's career and therefore their life, it sounds like it was nothing major and if you blow it out of proportion you could ruin him 









~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

It's wrong to be a bully with one exception. It's ok to bully those you THINK are a bully.

CjEmmemommy
by on May. 12, 2013 at 12:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Could have been a few squeezes to the shoulder or something much more. I would get a straight story before I jumped to anything, I would hope its nothing to be worried about!

1likeme
by Gold Member on May. 12, 2013 at 12:38 AM
I would talk to the other parents and ask my child what exactly happened.
kikibix
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2013 at 12:52 AM

I have no problem with any of my dd's soccer coaches massaging the cramps out of their legs.  Often in play, especially as they get older and play rougher, the girls will go flying from an impact, will take a hard kick.  Do you ever see while watching soccer games on tv that the coaches/medical team run onto the field and massage or manipulate the leg and then the player gets better?  I trust the coaches we've had.  I've met other coaches I would not trust, but it's a matter of following your instincts and always telling your kids to follow their instincts and speak up if something does not feel right.

xoch86
by Gold Member on May. 12, 2013 at 12:58 AM

Yup.. I'd be at that school in a heartbeat

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 12, 2013 at 1:12 AM

I think a lot of you have nasty perverted minds. 

tlcory
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2013 at 1:23 AM

Pull your daughter aside and ask her exactly what they are talking about, do it away from the other girls so no one is interrupting. Just ask her what she means by massage and you need the truth, "massaging the numbers" does not make sense! Of course assure her she's not in trouble or anything but you would just like to know because you are confused and want to help them word it right or something along that line.

Trix_Scarlets
by on May. 12, 2013 at 1:40 AM

One should never over react, thinking every aspect of interaction is sexually based. It's important to find out how they where handled, but if it's just simple massages such is a common thing from many sport and event trainers to preform. In dance studios and cheer squads the teacher or trainer is known for doing what they can to prevent injuries and help the students relax and work on flexibility. To think such to be sexual is seriously over reacting. To confront this teacher with no idea on what's really taking place is stupid and careless and could ruin a caring and serious teachers professional career and life for doing nothing but worrying. But on the other hand, if actions went in to unacceptable areas, like inner thighs or over the chest. Then the issue should be seriously confronted, by speaking with the school board and even involving the law. But massages in the shoulders, arms or even legs are common sporting and activity methods.

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