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I feel like my mother's day was ruined...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Or maybe I'm just being over-sensitive. All along I've been telling my husband I didn't want anything for mother's day, all I wanted was a day to hide out in my bedroom to write. I enjoy writing stories as my hobby. I might not be the best at it but it's what I enjoy. However, with kids it's very difficult to find time to write. Plus we are in the process of buying our first home so money is tight and I didn't want him spending money on something I didn't need. I just wanted a day to myself to do what I enjoy. I figured he could sit in the living room and watch movies with the kids or go in the back yard to play to keep them occupied while I went to our bedroom. Then today he goes to the store and bought his mom a gift. He started asking me when he could bring it over to her so I said I didn't know, when do you want to? The subject was dropped until later while I was at the store where he called me and had this "brilliant" plan. In the morning he'd make breakfast then afterwards he'd go to his mom's house while the kids sat in the living room by themselves and watched movies. Because then I can go to our room with no interruptions and everything will be great! Problem? The kids will fight, get into stuff, bug me even if told not to, have issues that need to be solved immediately, need to be fed, need movies put in the Bluray, need snacks, need to be supervised while playing outside, and so on. Doesn't exactly make it easy to write with all of that going on, which is why I don't write on any other day. He'll be at his moms for hours chatting with his mom and dad then come home around dinner time which I'll have to make. There goes my restful day of me time. He does this every year where he thinks since it's mother's day he should spend the entire day with his mom while I'm home by myself doing the same thing I do every single day...take care of the kids. Now he's mad at me because he doesn't get why it's such a big deal. Am I being unreasonable?

Edit: wow! I left to eat dinner and there's a bunch of comments. I don't think I've ever had this many comments on a post. To answer questions, we have a lot of kids. His parents don't do well with all the kids, especially if I'm not there to help. He did offer to take a couple of them but I'll still have most of them.

Today was our family day. We barbequed and spent time with the kids in the backyard blowing bubbles with huge bubble wands and rode bikes and worked on getting all of our camping gear out of the garage because we're going camping next weekend. I do enjoy spending time with my kids but I'm a SAHM and I am with them all day long. Our daily schedule is crazy. Even if some go to school, I still have the younger ones at home and I'm constantly running around to appointments or activities. Most days I have 3-5 places to run the kids to. I just wanted a small break.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 9:09 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:21 PM

Agree. I don't see asking for some time to yourself on mother's day as unreasonable.

His solution is to not do anything for you at all and he can just go hang with his mom.

I say one of these options should suit you all.

He can watch the kids all day until dinner time and then maybe you can all go out to dinner with his mom?

Or, he can take them with him to his mom's house.

Or, he can watch them during the day, make dinner, and go to his mom's for a bit in the evening.

Quoting lovinmama411:

I don't think you are. Try to arrange something else with him. Why can't he take the kids with him to his moms? Or tell him give you the day up until a certain time, then go to his moms. Or go to his moms but be home at a certain time, like go for a couple hours in the morning and be home by noon, and you get the rest of the day and he figures out dinner. If he won't agree to something like this, I would be upset too. You really aren't asking much.

by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell him straight up you want him to take the kids!! I know what u mean by having a peaceful day doing u
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:24 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband says, "I want to support the man and say she's being unreasonable but she's not. She's not being unreasonable." lol.

by on May. 11, 2013 at 9:24 PM
Tell him to take the kids
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:27 PM
I'm having my husband take our kid to give his mom the gift her and I made for his mom while I sleep in then have the morning to myself. Why can't he just take them?
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:28 PM

 I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. He should take the kids with him to see grandma. Wouldn't his mom like to spend the day with her grandkids? It is strange to me that she doesn't ask to spend the day with them.

 My dd's grandmas would love to have her for a whole day except I keep Mother's Day for myself. I want her all day. To me, thats what MDay is all about but thats just me. I work fulltime and she is in daycare all week and family members want her to visit on weekends alot.  Hopefully, dh will surprise you in the morning and take the kids with him. I hope your MDay turns out good.

by Anonymous 5 on May. 11, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Just tell him to take the kids with him, or he can't go! Seems pretty simple to me!
by on May. 11, 2013 at 9:29 PM


I didn't ask for anything for mothers day. I get alot of "me" time because my kids are both in school all day and even though I go to school everyday too, it's only for a few hours. So I get several hours a day alone. And every couple months or so they go to their grandparents or my brother's house for the weekend, they live about three hours away. 

BUT when my kids were younger, toddlers and babies up until kindergarten, I was a sahm and I always asked the same thing OP is asking. Just some time alone. Time alone was very, very rare and so cherished, lol. I don't think men understand how relaxing and great it is just to get a half a day all by yourself when you normally have young kids who are always with you and you are a sahm with no help.

Quoting Bellarose0212:

My husband says, "I want to support the man and say she's being unreasonable but she's not. She's not being unreasonable." lol.

by Anonymous 6 on May. 11, 2013 at 9:29 PM
I think you're being a bit dramatic. Why don't you calmly ask him to bring the kids with to his moms? Or ask him to not take a long time at his moms?
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:37 PM

Tell him underappreciated moms sign up for Ashley Madison the day after Mother's Day.

Just kidding!

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