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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I feel like my mother's day was ruined...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Or maybe I'm just being over-sensitive. All along I've been telling my husband I didn't want anything for mother's day, all I wanted was a day to hide out in my bedroom to write. I enjoy writing stories as my hobby. I might not be the best at it but it's what I enjoy. However, with kids it's very difficult to find time to write. Plus we are in the process of buying our first home so money is tight and I didn't want him spending money on something I didn't need. I just wanted a day to myself to do what I enjoy. I figured he could sit in the living room and watch movies with the kids or go in the back yard to play to keep them occupied while I went to our bedroom. Then today he goes to the store and bought his mom a gift. He started asking me when he could bring it over to her so I said I didn't know, when do you want to? The subject was dropped until later while I was at the store where he called me and had this "brilliant" plan. In the morning he'd make breakfast then afterwards he'd go to his mom's house while the kids sat in the living room by themselves and watched movies. Because then I can go to our room with no interruptions and everything will be great! Problem? The kids will fight, get into stuff, bug me even if told not to, have issues that need to be solved immediately, need to be fed, need movies put in the Bluray, need snacks, need to be supervised while playing outside, and so on. Doesn't exactly make it easy to write with all of that going on, which is why I don't write on any other day. He'll be at his moms for hours chatting with his mom and dad then come home around dinner time which I'll have to make. There goes my restful day of me time. He does this every year where he thinks since it's mother's day he should spend the entire day with his mom while I'm home by myself doing the same thing I do every single day...take care of the kids. Now he's mad at me because he doesn't get why it's such a big deal. Am I being unreasonable?

Edit: wow! I left to eat dinner and there's a bunch of comments. I don't think I've ever had this many comments on a post. To answer questions, we have a lot of kids. His parents don't do well with all the kids, especially if I'm not there to help. He did offer to take a couple of them but I'll still have most of them.

Today was our family day. We barbequed and spent time with the kids in the backyard blowing bubbles with huge bubble wands and rode bikes and worked on getting all of our camping gear out of the garage because we're going camping next weekend. I do enjoy spending time with my kids but I'm a SAHM and I am with them all day long. Our daily schedule is crazy. Even if some go to school, I still have the younger ones at home and I'm constantly running around to appointments or activities. Most days I have 3-5 places to run the kids to. I just wanted a small break.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 9:09 PM
Replies (31-39):
jglasser7682
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:40 PM

No honey, you are not being unreasonable. You need a day to yourself too. It sounds like he is being insensitive and not considering your feelings. He needs to bring the kids with him to Grandma's.

mama-sita
by on May. 11, 2013 at 9:46 PM

I agree with the other moms.  You're not being unreasonable.  It's your special day, too.  Not just HIS mom's.  He should take into consideration that you want some down time.  He should take the kids with him, then maybe go to the park after.

bensmommy1
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 9:54 PM
He is an inconsiderate ass!!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 9:58 PM
You would think being a mom you would want to spend the day with the people that made you a mother. Instead of ignoring them all day.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 10:02 PM

Seriously?  How is having some time alone and for herself ignoring her family?  One day where you don't have to take care of anyone else, I don't think that is too much to ask for do you?


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

Tell him to take the kids. I thought moths day was a day for families to spend together and show appreciation to their mom, not for the mom to ignore the family.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 10:06 PM


Sometimes as a SAHM, my dream day would be a day where I got to enjoy my hobbies and choose when to be around the kids.  I'm with them 24/7 every single week!

There is NOTHING wrong with a Mom wanting a break from the daily monotony.  Sure, we can all go to the zoo...which is something I do 3 times a month with or without a holiday.  Well, let's dine out so you don't have to cook!  OK, and 1,000,000 other local families had that exact same novel idea, so let's take the kids out and have an hour long wait at any given place, then be rushed through our meals and have our orders brought out all wrong.

My family, I "celebrate" being a Mom every day.  I spend time with the kids, I hang out with DH, we do family things several times a week.  The one thing I NEVER get in my life is a day to do anything by myself, and that is important and healthy for a person to have.  I get date nights, sure.  But never really time to sit by myself and figure out who I am.

OP: Either send the kids with him or take a rain check.  Yes, it sucks, but I dont' think it is worth throwing a hissy fit about.  This "spending the whole day with Mom" routine was something that should have been addressed on your first Mother's Day.  By now it's just how it is done and is harder to change.  You either need to claim the day by asking for the Moon on a chain, or make subtle reminders over time about how you are a Mom now too.

Quoting Anonymous:

You would think being a mom you would want to spend the day with the people that made you a mother. Instead of ignoring them all day.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 10:11 PM
I'll be spending my 9th Mother's Day with my children at the park. I'm also a stay at home mother

Quoting Anonymous:


Sometimes as a SAHM, my dream day would be a day where I got to enjoy my hobbies and choose when to be around the kids.  I'm with them 24/7 every single week!

There is NOTHING wrong with a Mom wanting a break from the daily monotony.  Sure, we can all go to the zoo...which is something I do 3 times a month with or without a holiday.  Well, let's dine out so you don't have to cook!  OK, and 1,000,000 other local families had that exact same novel idea, so let's take the kids out and have an hour long wait at any given place, then be rushed through our meals and have our orders brought out all wrong.

My family, I "celebrate" being a Mom every day.  I spend time with the kids, I hang out with DH, we do family things several times a week.  The one thing I NEVER get in my life is a day to do anything by myself, and that is important and healthy for a person to have.  I get date nights, sure.  But never really time to sit by myself and figure out who I am.

OP: Either send the kids with him or take a rain check.  Yes, it sucks, but I dont' think it is worth throwing a hissy fit about.  This "spending the whole day with Mom" routine was something that should have been addressed on your first Mother's Day.  By now it's just how it is done and is harder to change.  You either need to claim the day by asking for the Moon on a chain, or make subtle reminders over time about how you are a Mom now too.


Quoting Anonymous:

You would think being a mom you would want to spend the day with the people that made you a mother. Instead of ignoring them all day.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 10:18 PM


Aw, good for you.  

I'll be spending my Mother's Day at a salon getting my hair done.  Then I'll meet DH and the kids back at home and they'll grill burgers and play outside while I take a long bath and exfoliate and work on my beauty routine.  Then we'll have dinner together as a family.

This is my 5th Mother's Day, SAHM all five years.  And all 5 years, Mother's Day has been a day of pamper.  Sometimes it's with the whole family but DH runs the show, sometimes it's me all by myself.  And I wouldn't change a thing.

I suppose it is too far out of your grasp to understand how some women might need a break from the family routine once in a while?  Mother's Day is a convenient day, because everybody understands that DH is "tied up that day," and our unconventional routines keep us within our budget and less stressed as a whole.  We aren't fighting with every other family in town because we go to the park at least 3 days a week as a whole family already.

But honestly, I get about 1 day a month all to myself because DH understands how important that is to me.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'll be spending my 9th Mother's Day with my children at the park. I'm also a stay at home mother

Quoting Anonymous:


Sometimes as a SAHM, my dream day would be a day where I got to enjoy my hobbies and choose when to be around the kids.  I'm with them 24/7 every single week!

There is NOTHING wrong with a Mom wanting a break from the daily monotony.  Sure, we can all go to the zoo...which is something I do 3 times a month with or without a holiday.  Well, let's dine out so you don't have to cook!  OK, and 1,000,000 other local families had that exact same novel idea, so let's take the kids out and have an hour long wait at any given place, then be rushed through our meals and have our orders brought out all wrong.

My family, I "celebrate" being a Mom every day.  I spend time with the kids, I hang out with DH, we do family things several times a week.  The one thing I NEVER get in my life is a day to do anything by myself, and that is important and healthy for a person to have.  I get date nights, sure.  But never really time to sit by myself and figure out who I am.

OP: Either send the kids with him or take a rain check.  Yes, it sucks, but I dont' think it is worth throwing a hissy fit about.  This "spending the whole day with Mom" routine was something that should have been addressed on your first Mother's Day.  By now it's just how it is done and is harder to change.  You either need to claim the day by asking for the Moon on a chain, or make subtle reminders over time about how you are a Mom now too.


Quoting Anonymous:

You would think being a mom you would want to spend the day with the people that made you a mother. Instead of ignoring them all day.






Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 10:20 PM
No I get that all mothers need their me time. What I don't get is why it has to be the one day called Mother's Day. I spend it with the children that call me mother/mom.

Quoting Anonymous:


Aw, good for you.  

I'll be spending my Mother's Day at a salon getting my hair done.  Then I'll meet DH and the kids back at home and they'll grill burgers and play outside while I take a long bath and exfoliate and work on my beauty routine.  Then we'll have dinner together as a family.

This is my 5th Mother's Day, SAHM all five years.  And all 5 years, Mother's Day has been a day of pamper.  Sometimes it's with the whole family but DH runs the show, sometimes it's me all by myself.  And I wouldn't change a thing.

I suppose it is too far out of your grasp to understand how some women might need a break from the family routine once in a while?  Mother's Day is a convenient day, because everybody understands that DH is "tied up that day," and our unconventional routines keep us within our budget and less stressed as a whole.  We aren't fighting with every other family in town because we go to the park at least 3 days a week as a whole family already.

But honestly, I get about 1 day a month all to myself because DH understands how important that is to me.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'll be spending my 9th Mother's Day with my children at the park. I'm also a stay at home mother



Quoting Anonymous:


Sometimes as a SAHM, my dream day would be a day where I got to enjoy my hobbies and choose when to be around the kids.  I'm with them 24/7 every single week!

There is NOTHING wrong with a Mom wanting a break from the daily monotony.  Sure, we can all go to the zoo...which is something I do 3 times a month with or without a holiday.  Well, let's dine out so you don't have to cook!  OK, and 1,000,000 other local families had that exact same novel idea, so let's take the kids out and have an hour long wait at any given place, then be rushed through our meals and have our orders brought out all wrong.

My family, I "celebrate" being a Mom every day.  I spend time with the kids, I hang out with DH, we do family things several times a week.  The one thing I NEVER get in my life is a day to do anything by myself, and that is important and healthy for a person to have.  I get date nights, sure.  But never really time to sit by myself and figure out who I am.

OP: Either send the kids with him or take a rain check.  Yes, it sucks, but I dont' think it is worth throwing a hissy fit about.  This "spending the whole day with Mom" routine was something that should have been addressed on your first Mother's Day.  By now it's just how it is done and is harder to change.  You either need to claim the day by asking for the Moon on a chain, or make subtle reminders over time about how you are a Mom now too.



Quoting Anonymous:

You would think being a mom you would want to spend the day with the people that made you a mother. Instead of ignoring them all day.








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