Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

WTF it's MY day NOT yours. *** EDITED ***

Posted by on May. 12, 2013 at 12:54 PM
  • 45 Replies

I'm divorced. I have a protective order against my ex husband. He lives with his parents. They have DS every friday-sunday which is more than is stated for visitation in the divorce agreement. I send him over every weekend to be nice, not that I have any reason to be I just can't help it. He enjoys spending time with his grandpa (not his dad so much)

Anyway. I already told them Friday when they picked him up that I wasn't working this evening or tomorrow and I wanted him home so I could spend today with him when I got off work. You know, as it's Mother's Day and all. They understood that

I got home from work and received a text from DS's grandpa - 

"We was going to take **** (DS's grandma) out for dinner at 5, will bring James home after that"

My first thought was WTF I already told them I wanted him home to spend MOTHER'S DAY with MY SON. It's not grandparents day and it's not father's day. It's freaking mother's day. I'm not spending this holiday without my son. This is my day, not theirs. I spend practically every holiday without my son because they have big family outings and my family really doesn't have outings together to celebrate holidays. So I was not budging on this one.

This is what I sent back-

"Oh. Was hoping to spend the evening with him since it's mother's day and all...."

He sent back -

"What time would u like to have him"

I sent back -

"Anytime. I'm home rest of the evening."

It's been a half an hour. And no return message... They better bring him back home soon or I will be livid. I think not even asking me but telling me they were going to take him out to dinner and not bring him home until late, when they knew I wanted him home, was rude and disrespectful. But I dont' expect anything less out of them.


----

Edited 1:20pm

For all of you saying I should have told them what time I wanted him home - I did. Friday. When they picked him up. I told them what time I would be home from work and told them I wanted him home so I could spend the rest of the day with him. They said okay then right about the time they knew I'd be getting home surprised me with the text that they'd decided to change plans - without asking me. They told me they would have him home this evening. That shit doesn't fly. Yeah maybe I sounded passive and whatever, but I do my best not to get into arguments with them. They're the only ones I trust to pick up and drop off DS to and from visitation with his father. And they supervise the visitation. I said "anytime" in my reply to let them know that I was home and they could bring him now.

They said they'll have him home in 20 mins.

AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

by on May. 12, 2013 at 12:54 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 12, 2013 at 12:57 PM
14 moms liked this

Well, your answer to them was very vague.  You should have responded "Actually, I'd like to spend the day with him because it is Mother's Day.  So please have him here by (time).  Thanks."  You have to be direct to get what you want.

ShesALady
by on May. 12, 2013 at 12:58 PM
You shouldn't have said anytime. You should have said I want him by noon or something. They can take that as well we'll bring him home after we eat. I agree you should have your son on Mothers Day. I'd call and say you were going to pick him up now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 12, 2013 at 12:58 PM

You needed to be more specific with the times.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 12, 2013 at 12:58 PM

I'm sorry, but unless YOU arrange beforehand to have him off schedule, you can't expect them to drop everything to accomodate you.

next year plan better.

AngryBob
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2013 at 12:59 PM
2 moms liked this

that's what happens when you are super vague. i wouldn't know what to do with you, either.

he asked you what time, and you said whenever. so it's going to be on THEIR convenince, not yours.

he's probably frustrated dealing with you.

justbreatheOx
by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2013 at 12:59 PM
This

Quoting Anonymous:

Well, your answer to them was very vague.  You should have responded "Actually, I'd like to spend the day with him because it is Mother's Day.  So please have him here by (time).  Thanks."  You have to be direct to get what you want.

proudmommy690
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2013 at 1:00 PM
You said "any time" so now they will wait til after dinner. Specify a time. Instead of saying any time you should have said now.
Stephd710
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2013 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to use your backbone and speak up about what you want or people will continue to walk all over you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ElitestJen
by on May. 12, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Then go get him. 

If you really want your son, stop waiting around.

newmom121812
by Gold Member on May. 12, 2013 at 1:01 PM
bump for update
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)