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I can't believe they acted like this, they should be happy for us

Posted by Anonymous
  • 221 Replies
4 moms liked this

MIL always does a Mother's Day brunch right after church. We went over with a couple dishes (it is always potluck) a gift for MIL and some exciting news, I am pregnant again, 10 weeks. This is our 4th baby, our children are 7, 5 and almost 3. We are super excited, as with the other 3, I got pregnant the first month we started trying though we like to wait until 10 weeks to let people know, including our own children, who we told this morning before church.

Anyway, we were so excited so share the news and it was great that Mother's Day fell within the time frame we ready to tell people. We shared our news over brunch wih DH's family. We expected everyone to be happy for us and instead MIL gave us this look that could kill. DH's aunt was there and we know that she has been trying for years to get pregnant and has had many miscarriages, she even asked at one point, I think about a year ago, if I would be willing to surrogate for her, which I declined. She is MIL's sister but she is much younger, I think she is about 35-40, MIL even says she is more like a DD to her then a sister (MIL doesn't have any DD only 3 sons).

His aunt looked at me in discust and threw her drink, orange juice in my face, called me a selfish cunt (yes, in front of my children) and ran out. MIL looked at us and said "do you really think that was appropriate?" At first I thought maybe she thought the announcement was in poor taste because of DH's aunt's inability to have children.  DH glared back at his mother, told the kids to get up and we were leaving and on our way out, MIL stopped us. She said "a year ago, you told her no to being a surrogate because you didn't want to do it and now you are having MORE of your own". I told her it wasn't being pregnant again that I didn't want, it was being pregnant, giving birth and then having to hand the baby over.  Then she lost it, she told me that she thought it was that I just didn't want to go through pregnancy again and that's why she understood but she said she can not understand why, if I am willing to go through pregnancy, why I won't do it to help her sister who has tried for years and years and lost so many babies. She also told me that I am a selfish little bitch for not helping a member of DH's family get the one thing she wants and instead I having more for myself.

DH told his mother that I have every right to not want to surrogate for someone and still want more children and that I am not a baby factory for his aunt and that it that is how she handles not getting her way, maybe it is a good thing she can't have any children.

His mother called his phone a few minutes after we left asking us to come back. He said that until she is ready to come to me and beg my forgiveness, she won't be seeing us or the kids and we won't be coming to anything that his aunt is coming to.

Anyway, we just got back from my mom's house were my family was excited enough for both families. DH told me he is glad that at least one side of the family can be happy for us.

Thanks for reading, I really needed to vent and now I feel a lot better.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 12, 2013 at 4:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 12, 2013 at 4:41 PM


by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 12, 2013 at 4:42 PM


by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2013 at 4:43 PM
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by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2013 at 4:43 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm so sorry that happened. Don't go over until you get a real apology. That was very wrong of both of them. She actually threw her drink in your face??
Congrats on the baby!!!
by on May. 12, 2013 at 4:44 PM
11 moms liked this

Happy to hear DH stuck up for you, and no you are not required to surrogate for anyone, and the aunt who threw drink in your face is very childish. I would not want anything to do with her. It's not your problem that she can't have any babies. It is wrong of her to take it out on you. Maybe announcing on Mothers Day might have hurt BUT you did not do anything wrong.

CONGRATULATIONS and be an awesome Mommy!!!!! Screw that part of the family!

by Platinum Member on May. 12, 2013 at 4:44 PM
Damn I'd have probably hit his aunt
by on May. 12, 2013 at 4:44 PM
22 moms liked this
I would not have announced in that setting knowing the aunt would be there....seems insensitive. It doesn't justify the juice in your face though
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2013 at 4:45 PM
3 moms liked this

 Wow.  I hardly know what to say to an expectation like that.  How inappropriate for your mother to think you have an OBLIGATION to have a child for your aunt before having another for yourself? Really?

Boggles the mind.  The aunt should look into adoption if she feels a need to have a child, and stop expecting family members to feel obligated to do so for her. 

Like....really?  Picturing how that would work. You have 3 kids, then have one for your aunt, and then have another for yourself? So your other kid doesn't get to grow up with his siblings because you were expected to share your fertility?  And HIS MOM is mad AT YOU about it????

Wow.  Just wow.    

(The only point they have is that you probably should have shared it quietly on another day with his mother, rather than in front of his aunt, given the sensitivity of the situation, but that isn't a felony or anything!)

by Silver Member on May. 12, 2013 at 4:45 PM

So glad your family was supportive!! And his family is the selfish bitches!
by Anonymous 2 on May. 12, 2013 at 4:45 PM
3 moms liked this

OMG! What does she think you are, rent a womb?!

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