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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"you push your kids" "your kids do too much"

Posted by on May. 13, 2013 at 7:52 AM
  • 253 Replies

These are things that most of us have either heard or said about someone. It seems to be becoming more and more common to hear this on the soccer field or at the dance recital.

But my question is...whats wrong with a child being involved, whats wrong with pushing a child to perform at their best? 

As adults we know it's important to set goals and then work toward attaining those goals. Is that not also important for kids?

I hear these things and know they are meant to be insults...jabs maybe, but are they? Is it such a bad thing to keep a child focused on something they're good at and keep them striving to be the best in what ever that is?

Ok so thats a lot of questions... but where to you fall on this subject?

Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

by on May. 13, 2013 at 7:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KelliansMom
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2013 at 7:58 AM
5 moms liked this
I don't mind a little pushing per say. But sometimes parents do take it a little to far. We have a one sport per season rule. But he has to finish out the season even if he doesn't like it we signed up for it socks like a contract you have to finis out your contract.
romalove
by SakePrincess on May. 13, 2013 at 7:59 AM
2 moms liked this

People need to mind their own business.  Maybe some kids do better in lots of extracurriculars.  Maybe some parents like their kids to be very busy.  Maybe some kids just love to be busy.  

People are very worried about elevating their own parenting and children by smashing down on someone else.  That does not elevate you, it only makes you feel taller.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on May. 13, 2013 at 8:00 AM
18 moms liked this

There is a difference between encouraging them to do their best and pushing them so hard that they feel like their best is not good enough.

We encourage our kids to be the absolute best they can be but we don't go overboard. There isn't any yelling or belittling like I've seen from other parents. I've actually heard a parent say this to their child after a soccer game (these are 7,8,9 yr olds) "Why did you only score 2 goals? We practiced, you had should have scored more than that!" (Said in a nasty, you are dirt voice) =(

Then there was a dad at my nephews t-ball game, they are all 3 years old, that kept spanking his kid for not hitting the ball, not catching the ball, basically, he was being spanked because he was 3.

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christina0607
by on May. 13, 2013 at 8:01 AM

How old is your son? 

We have found that one sport doesn't really keep them busy enough. Well unless it's football, thats 5 days a week. Right now my middle child is only playing one sport, but he's in 3 different leagues for that one sport...I'm not sure if that breaks your rule? lol. 

Quoting KelliansMom:

I don't mind a little pushing per say. But sometimes parents do take it a little to far. We have a one sport per season rule. But he has to finish out the season even if he doesn't like it we signed up for it socks like a contract you have to finis out your contract.


Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on May. 13, 2013 at 8:02 AM


Quoting KelliansMom:

I don't mind a little pushing per say. But sometimes parents do take it a little to far. We have a one sport per season rule. But he has to finish out the season even if he doesn't like it we signed up for it socks like a contract you have to finis out your contract.

Yeah. We try to limit their activities to 2, usually one non-sport and a sport. We are thinking about letting them do piano lessons too in the Fall so that would bump them up to 3 activities.

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KelliansMom
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2013 at 8:03 AM
He is only four so one sport is enough right now

Quoting christina0607:

How old is your son? 

We have found that one sport doesn't really keep them busy enough. Well unless it's football, thats 5 days a week. Right now my middle child is only playing one sport, but he's in 3 different leagues for that one sport...I'm not sure if that breaks your rule? lol. 

Quoting KelliansMom:

I don't mind a little pushing per say. But sometimes parents do take it a little to far. We have a one sport per season rule. But he has to finish out the season even if he doesn't like it we signed up for it socks like a contract you have to finis out your contract.


Cmgmqmmom
by Sass Queen on May. 13, 2013 at 8:03 AM
9 moms liked this
I don't think it's a bad thing to encourage your child to perform the best they can. However, or needs to be realistic.
Also, I think scheduling your kid into dozens of activities is not fun or fair. Kids should be able to just be kids playing on their own. They'll eventually be adults who have no choice but to live by a schedule. Why ruin being a kid by scheduling them to death?
christina0607
by on May. 13, 2013 at 8:04 AM

Maybe I've been lucky but I've never seen anyone be down right nasty to their kids. I definitely see parents asking about things that happened on the field, maybe asking why they missed something when they had been practicing hard on it. I don't know if that quite qualifies as being nasty though. 

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

There is a difference between encouraging them to do their best and pushing them so hard that they feel like their best is not good enough.

We encourage our kids to be the absolute best they can be but we don't go overboard. There isn't any yelling or belittling like I've seen from other parents. I've actually heard a parent say this to their child after a soccer game (these are 7,8,9 yr olds) "Why did you only score 2 goals? We practiced, you had should have scored more than that!" (Said in a nasty, you are dirt voice) =(

Then there was a dad at my nephews t-ball game, they are all 3 years old, that kept spanking his kid for not hitting the ball, not catching the ball, basically, he was being spanked because he was 3.


Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

jillbailey26
by on May. 13, 2013 at 8:05 AM
9 moms liked this

There's seven days a week and I think if your child is doing activities 6 of those days (various activities) it's too much.  Yes, it's important for them to go with what they're interested in, but they also need time to relax.  With school, homework, finding little time to even eat, and rushing off to activities, where is their down time?  When do they get to play?  On the way to their next activity?  I have nothing against kids doing what they love, I just don't think they should be overbooked.

I also think it's good to push them to be their best at what they do, but, again, there's a line.  If you're forcing your child to stay in an activity when they don't want to, it's too much pushing.  I don't mean finishing out something you already paid for, but to keep signing them up when they show no interest.  Then demanding that they do their best.  Some parents can just be overbearing and want their kids to live out their (the parent's) dream rather than letting the kid live out their own.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

christina0607
by on May. 13, 2013 at 8:07 AM

oh, this is another one we hear a lot, I forgot to add it. 

I often wonder how scheduled a child would have to be to not ever have down time. I'm not sure I've ever met a child that didn't. Even my middle son who is my most scheduled child and plays on 3 separate teams at the moment has more than enough down time.

I Often wonder if thats something some parents say so they don't have to involve their kids in activities.  

Quoting Cmgmqmmom:

I don't think it's a bad thing to encourage your child to perform the best they can. However, or needs to be realistic.
Also, I think scheduling your kid into dozens of activities is not fun or fair. Kids should be able to just be kids playing on their own. They'll eventually be adults who have no choice but to live by a schedule. Why ruin being a kid by scheduling them to death?


Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

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