Yes, I am posting Anon. The thing is, I can't take this relationship with SO anymore. We have been together 2 1/2 years and I just can't deal. He is bipolar and he self adjusts his medication to the point where it is no longer therapuetic and it turns toxic. At this point, I can't seperate the man from the disease. Thursday, I was at work, and he snooped through my things. He found a post I had written in another group here for bipolar spouses and I guess he didn't like what I have to say. I am not allowed to vent my frustrations to anyone IRL, not him, not friends, not family. Not even a journal because he will find it and read it and then start a fight. I was just looking for support. Sure enough, he starts a fight while I am at work, and just from how he was talking, I knew it was going to be bad. So, I rushed home, since he was taking care of the girls, and of course, it escalated to him making like he was gonna punch me. NOT OK!!!! I called the police, even though he didn't hit me. I chose not to let it slide. He has been in jail this whole time, and the VA here is looking to transfer him to an inpatient facility and readjust him, but I just don't think I can do it. We were supposed to get married, but he was such a dick about it, I busted him down to boyfriend until he could get his head straight. Now, I don't ever want to marry him. And that, to me, signals the end of the relationship. I have become so numb. I can't even think fondly of him anymore.
Seriously, what kind of asshole goes through their girldriend's shit while she is at work to provide an additional income to the family to find something to be mad about? I have NO privacy. NONE. And yet, he insists on complete privacy for himself. He is not cheating on me. He is constantly up my butt, but still...... I think this is it. I love him, but I can't be with him.