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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

S/O of pushing your children - I am not a "waste"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
When I was 5, I was given a test along with my classmates. It was a paper and audio tape with a story about birds. It was intended to test our general intelligence/logic and learning style.
A week later, I was called into the principal's office. A lady was there. She told me she expected kids my age to score between 20-50 points.on that test. I scored 95. She gave me an IQ test,and said shed be in touch with ky parents.
A few weeks later my parents explained the lady thought I was gifted, and had given them.some special books for me to use. That was the point they got carried away.
Id get home from school every day and was allowed one drink and snack. No more tv. I had to do all my homeweork and then 5 pages of the books. I.wasnt allowed any more drinks or toilet breaks until it was perfect. I have dysbraxia so my handwriting is a little funky. If it wasn't written neat enough, my dad would tear it up, over and over. Sometimes this happened 5 times. My parents would punish me for anything less than A grades. If I got a B, I was grounded. This went on until I was 12. They said I "had" to go on to university. When my teachers called home, concerned for my wellbeing, I was punished.
Things changed for me. I realised my talents lay in creating. I won a national school award for my stories, for my artwork. Didn't matter to them. I wanted to drop out after high school and work. They said theyd disown me if I didn't go to university.
My dad once.ripped.up a birthday card I'd made for a friend becuase it.was written in orange pen. I started to self harm.
I ran away. Got pregnant but decided to keep my son.
Today I have a creative job I love so much. Im in the upper IQ percentile in the country. I don't care.
I've been told my son is showing signs of unusual intelligenc for his age. I told them where to go. I.want him to spend these years before school playing.

I'm writing this because I want parents to know, if doing a class or a club or extra curricular activity is making you happier than your child, you need to ask if it's worth it.

I'm mobile, sorry for typos
Posted by Anonymous on May. 13, 2013 at 9:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 9:31 AM
I agree completely!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 13, 2013 at 10:06 AM
I'm glad you do, obviously I don't think every parent who encourages their child is abusive like mine were but there is a line. I think having a "gifted" child just went to their heads.


Quoting ivegotrhythm:

I agree completely!

ElitestJen
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Normal parents don't do this....

There's nothing wrong with having high expectations for your children.  It's good for them to have realistic goals that they meet. 

jojo_star
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:11 AM

That is crazy. I'm so sorry that your parents reacted that way. I do push my children, and I expect what they can give, but I don't go nearly that crazy with it. 

Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:12 AM

I'm sorry your parents put you through that.  All four of of our children are or have been in the GATE program (Gifted And Talented Education), and three out of the four still are in the program.  Our 7-year-old daughter told me she doesn't want to do it anymore because it's boring.  She said "All we do is watch movies and read books, and we're not doing anything really interesting."  I told her teacher what she said.  My daughter hasn't brought GATE up since, so I honestly don't know if she's still participating or not.  

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Your parents were nuts, and it had nothing to do with your high IQ.

My husband and I were both in gifted classes - NOTHING like that happened to us.  One of my kids was too (out of 4).  She didn't go off the deep end, and neither did we.

weezer_cookie
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:19 AM
:( I'm sorry that happened to you. That is extreme. No child should have that much pressure on them
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 13, 2013 at 10:19 AM
I'm not saying this is the norm, I just want people to see that what we expect of our children may not be what makes them happy. Peoplw unintentionally lose sight of what their kids want.


Quoting Not_A_Native:

Your parents were nuts, and it had nothing to do with your high IQ.


My husband and I were both in gifted classes - NOTHING like that happened to us.  One of my kids was too (out of 4).  She didn't go off the deep end, and neither did we.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 13, 2013 at 10:21 AM
No I agree you should motivate your children to be successful, but be mindful that success means different things to different people.


Quoting ElitestJen:

Normal parents don't do this....

There's nothing wrong with having high expectations for your children.  It's good for them to have realistic goals that they meet. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 13, 2013 at 10:45 AM
Bump
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