We don't have children together so I didn't expect anything from him, especially with money being tight right now. What I also didn't expect was that he was going to take his kids out and spend $100 on their mom for Mother's Day. I get a card and maybe flowers or chocolates for the kids to give to her but $100???
I am so pissed. I saw it online on the bank statement and asked him what it was, he told me like it was no big deal and now can't understand why I am mad. I make a lot more then he does plus he pays child support and I get child support so the money I bring it is more 4 times what he brings in and still he thinks he has the right to pull this? He pointed out that my ex spend over $200 on my (he gave the kids a gift card to my favorite restaurant so they could take me out, he sent flowers and chocolates, the card said it was from the kids and he got a gift card for me to get my nails done). But he can afford to do that, he makes a lot of money and doesn't have a wife or any other kids.
We don't have a lot extra money right now, even if we did, it should be spend on OUR family not his ex. I get paid on Friday and I will be having my pay check sent to my new account. I am so hurt that money that should go to our family was just given away like that.
Like I said, the issue is not that he got her something, I think he should get her something from the kids, at least while he kids are too young to do it on their own but he could have let them pick out something for under $20.
I took half the money out of our accounts (well I took an extra $100 for the $100 he spent on his ex) and opened my own, my paycheck this week is set to be direct deposited in there. I also divided up the bills, DH will now have to pay 28% of all household bills (I have 3 kids that live with us full time, he has 2 who visit so 28% works out to be fair and I will pay the other 72%). He can pay his own car payment, gas and any extras out of what he has left and I can do the same.
This isn't really about this one thing. He is always spending money we don't really have on his kids or even himself and then we don't have money for the bills or to put in savings. I had already paid the bills so the only money that was left in the checking account was for groceries and gas for the cars. I had to take money from the savings to cover that $100 spend, with 5 kids between the 2 of us, we HAVE to have a decent savings because we have to have money for when things come up and he doesn't get that.
I tried explaining that to him and he flipped out that I am no longer giving him access to my money because of these past situations.
To answer some of the frequently posted responses:
Yes I know she is his children's mother, however, this is our money and I feel he spent too much, and like I said, I was money we really didn't have.
No, I do not think the world revolves around me but our household finances can not revolve around his ex.
I have no problem with him getting her something I just feel like $100 was too much with our current situation.
Yes, my ex does spend a lot on me. He wants to and can afford to, DH can't afford to do so for his ex and it's not right that our household budget was put in trouble because of this.
For those saying he was trying to do the right thing, he took the money when he knew our family couldn't afford it, how is that the right thing?