I feel like I am going to lose it completely if I don't get this out of my system, so here I go. Before you read any further I will offer some background. The same year my son was born in 2008, my cancer came back (rare bone type I) I did 2 yrs of chemo. My ex couln't deal with having a sick wife. He filed for divorce on me. After that I moved in with family, that turned on me later. My cousin I grew up with sexually assulted me on my birthday the next year. My grandmother called me a liar once I went to the cops on him. Then I was raped and almost killed in 2010. I was made to feel it was my fault by the D.A.s office. My raging rant is against these individuals.
SCREW YOU XDH, YOU WERE A FUCKING LOUSY HUSBAND.
SCREW YOU "CUZ", YOU ARE A FUCKING SICK FUCKING BASTARD, I HOPE YOU ROT IN A CAGE
SCREW YOU GRANDMOTHER, YOU ARE A NASTY OLD BITCH. I HATE THAT I MISS YOUR STINKING ASS.
SCREW YOU LBB, YOU FUCKING PATHETIC LOSER. YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH REJECTION SO YOU RAPE, INTIMIDATE, MANIPULATE AND NEARLY KILL ME. FUCK YOU, I HOPE YOU ROT IN A CAGE. ANIMALS LIKE YOU DESERVE YOUR DICK CHOPPED OFF
SCREW YOU MR. MANNING, YOU ASSHOLE. YOU FUCKING SORRY ASSHOLE. HOW DARE YOU TREAT SOMEONE IN NEED OF JUSTICE, PROTECTION AND SOME FUCKING EMPATHY IS WHAT WAS NEEDED WHEN I HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF MEETING YOU. YOU LYING COCKSUCKER, TELLING YOUR BOSS I "MISUNDERSTOOD" HA! THE STATEMENT OF " WELL WE DIDN'T CHOOSE HIM FOR A BOYFRIEND..." NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID. YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR AN ADA, I HOPE KARMA FUCKS YOUR LIFE OVER.
SCREW YOU CANCER. SCREW YOU PAIN. SCREW YOU PAIN MEDS. I FUCKING HATE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY BODY. I FUCKING HATE THAT I WILL HAVE TO TAKE FUCKING PAIN MEDS THE REST OF MY LIFE OR BE BEDRIDDEN FROM PAIN. FUCK YOU CANCER. SCREW YOU DOCTORS THAT CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT THE CORRECT SIDE OF AN MRI.
When will I ever feel half way normal again?
I apologize if I've offended anyone. Before I get bashed to death, yes I have a professional to talk to. Those few years of non stop drama still get to me sometimes. I just needed to seriously vent.
ETA: Writing this post ended up compelling me to write a letter to the District Attorney's office that treated me so terribly as well as Mr Manning, the ADA that was an asshole. I really want to send it to them. I am just not sure I should. What good would it even do? They clearly never cared to begin with. My BF wouldn't read the letter, he said he would just get pissed off. (He hates what happened to me and I guess getting pissed off is his way of dealing with it, but dammit I need to lean on him sometimes) I let my mother read it and she didn't say a word. I guess she was worried I would get upset. I am just so fucking confused, angry, and dammit they need a fucking reminder that they screwed up. Maybe I am letting it bother me too much, maybe I am being a fool for wanting to send my letter. On the other hand if I never mail it, I feel like I would just kick myself. Fuck the "justice system"...just fuck every last coward that refuses to go after a violent rapist because there is no DNA. Dammit Fuck Shit Fucking jackass bastards. I thought about posting the letter here, see what you ladies thought, but then I think I will seem even more nuts.
I am just tired of the nightmares, tired of having that worry in the back of my mind that I will run into that raping bastard. Just sick of the nightmares that by chance he does run into me. I hate that nagging fear, I hate it I hate it I hate it, and I blame the non action of that DA's office.
Damn them all to hell.
I refuse to conform, I refuse to take crap from others, I am a sassy, smart, honest, fabulous and sexy Texas Mama.
Save The Planet- Go Green!