People on the phone make me want to slit my wrist with my envelope opener
At my job, I HATE HATE HATE answering the phone. I cringe when it rings because I fear what breed of stupid I'm about to deal with. Here are the offenses that make me lose faith in the human race.
1. "Someone from there called me." "Okay, who called you?" "I don't know. I just saw the number and called it back." "Sir / Ma'am, we have 25 people working today. There's no way for me to know who called you. Did they leave a voicemail?" "Yeah, but I didn't listen to it." People, until I am issued a crystal ball, this will not work. Listen to the voicemail.
2. When I answer, this is the greeting people hear...."Good morning / afternoon. < name of company >. This is < my name >. How may I direct your call?" And this is what I get in return, "...........Uh.....who's this?" or, ".....Hello? Hello?" Okay, people. You called me. What exactly is going on when you dial???? Do you dial random numbers and then stop paying attention? Why are you acting surprised when someone answers? Why in God's name would you dial a number and not be prepared for someone to answer? And are you dialing numbers without knowing who you're calling? Someone please explain this to me.
3. I answer and there are screaming children in the background louder than the individual making the phone call. People, if you're surrounded by screaming kids, perhaps that's not the best time to make the call. I can't hear you. You can't hear me. You are making me hold multiple times so you can address your kids. This doesn't work for me. I am busy. Same thing if you are in your car with the window rolled down and your radio turned up. I CAN"T HEAR YOU. Therefore, I can't help you. Am I the only person in the world who sends her kids to another room and mutes the tv to make a phone call???? It's called courtesy. Acquire some.
4. "Hello. I need some transactions done on my accounts. But I do not have my account numbers or my social security number." You are unprepared and, once again, I have not acquired a crystal ball lately.
5. "Hi. I don't actually need to speak to anyone there. I'm just calling because I need to get in touch with <insert other company's name> on your street and I thought you might have their number." OMG!!!! You could look up our number but not theirs???????? You waste my time!!!!!
6. Mumblers and whisperers. People, speak up and enunciate. If you do not, don't get impatient with me when you have to repeat yourself 5 times.
7. "Hi. My name is 'xyz' and I have <insert list of accounts> with you. I've been with you guys for <insert number> years and my parents and kids also have accounts with you. I work at <insert company> and I live at <insert address> and I do business at your location about every week and........" I don't need this information. Give me your name, account number and what you want. Everything else is a waste of your breath and my time. Be efficient.
Sorry. Just needed to vent. Carry on.