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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I dont know how much more i can handle

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

I live in Tx, where there is no legal seperation. But my young husband has decided he needed one. So he moved to his moms house, 3 weeks ago. We've done some communicating but mainly i'm trying to let him have his space. I hate it, of course, i think he is being weak and dramatic. He is claiming he's tried and i disagree. So many things are coming up and i'm jsut listening because i cant believe he thinks he has tried talking to me. The man doesnt talk to anyone, yet believes he tried talking to me. He has never sat me down and said "honey, i need to talk to you about something". I have done that, but he cant even tell me that despite 100% complaining and bitching about his job, he loves it and its fulfilling. We are kind of in an odd situation. We've been together 5 years, dated for 2 and married for 3. we have 2 yr old twins and a 1 yr old. The twins are honeymoon babies. Odd because we dont know anyone else with as many kids as us in short time frames as young as us.

My grandmother passed away yesterday morning. We were very close, but I am not very upset about it anymore. I know she really missed my Grandfather and she was in a lot of pain going through cancer. I asked my husband to spend the night with me last night. He said no. I asked why and he said because we are seperated and he cant give me the love and support i need. Even though I understand what he is saying, it hurts. It hurts more than my grandma passing. We have ben there for each other through losing family before, no matter what our situation was at the moment. He has been going to bars with his friends, he got a DWI on thursday and he called me. I didnt say anything but ask if he wanted to stay or get bailed out. He picked bail, so I called my MIL and I got his bail set, got his car out of impound and sent it to the mechanic. I picked him up from downtown at midnight with our kids in the car and he stayed with us. I held him and let him vent about how it happened and how its impacted him. I held him while he cried from frustration. You might think that I babied him but remember, I'm trying to keep my husband because through better or worse I love him. Normally I would want to leave him there for his sentance and tell him hes a dumbass and this is what he gets. But...we are in a delicate situation and I went with loving wife instead. 

My dad has cancer, my grandma passed away from suffering through cancer, my husband wants to leave me. I dont know how i got up this morning. I am at my breaking point, i just need some relief. 

This has a lot of random information, its not the whole story. 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 14, 2013 at 2:28 PM
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Replies (1-5):
seemommyrun
by Sue daNim on May. 14, 2013 at 2:32 PM

 So, you're there for him, but he just can't 'give you what you need' when you're hurting?

What exactly are you trying to hold on to?

It sounds like he is already gone, unfortunately.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but you deserve better.  Good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 14, 2013 at 2:36 PM

I'm really sorry you are going through so much right now.  Remember, this too shall pass.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 14, 2013 at 2:36 PM

Im sorry for your loss and since yr DH dished you when you really needed him and you were there for him when he got his DWI i would really sit down and think what kind of man he really is....do you really want him back for the sake that you really love him or is it because you don't want to be alone?  during my seperation my ex dh's dad passed away and i was there for him - he needed me as a friend and he was there when my brother passed - i dunno, i am always there for ppl no matter who they are.....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 14, 2013 at 2:41 PM

so...because he is going through a hard time about us and in general i should jsut walk away from him? Because he has done a lot of crap in the last 3 weeks I should walk away from the man I swore better or worse to? I am not weak and I dont give up so easily. He is having a weak moment and its hard on me. I am not going to let my family suffer for the rest of our lives because "I deserve better". My husband doesnt deserve to have his wife give up on him.

Quoting seemommyrun:

 So, you're there for him, but he just can't 'give you what you need' when you're hurting?

What exactly are you trying to hold on to?

It sounds like he is already gone, unfortunately.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but you deserve better.  Good luck.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 14, 2013 at 2:45 PM

I am too and it makes this really hard. I love him and he is pissing me off. He is acting like the kind of person I always stayed away from when dating! but...I know he is just having a hard time and well...I dont know. I guess i know HE hasnt made a decision as to what kind of man he wants to be, as to what he will end up doing with his life so I dont feel like I need to yet. Does that make sense? I guess I'm just doing the best I can to get through this until I know there is some definites here....

Quoting Anonymous:

Im sorry for your loss and since yr DH dished you when you really needed him and you were there for him when he got his DWI i would really sit down and think what kind of man he really is....do you really want him back for the sake that you really love him or is it because you don't want to be alone?  during my seperation my ex dh's dad passed away and i was there for him - he needed me as a friend and he was there when my brother passed - i dunno, i am always there for ppl no matter who they are.....


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