Hate when people say everything happens for a reason.
Really? So what is the reasoning behind my DH becoming addicted to drugs and splitting our family up? Why should my children have to go through seeing their father like that. They want their "daddy" back and I want my husband back, not this guy who picks his drugs over his family. This has been off an on for almost 2 years now. The kids and I are moving in with my parents, leaving our home of almost 6 years, full of memories because my stupid husband can't stay clean like he promised.
I wanted better for my kids, but I can't give them all that on my own. I feel helpless, depressed, angry and broken all at the same time. I'm sad that my kids won't have their father around, angry at him for doing this to us and I feel that nothing I say even matters to him. Doesn't he see how hurt we are. My son is 5 and needs is daddy in his life, my daughter is 2.5 and needs her daddy. I need my husband and best friend back. I feel so empty. I know I have to do this for myself and for our children, they don't need this. I just don't want them to hate me for leaving him. I've left before and he got clean and we moved back in and he was clean 6 months and relapsed bad this time.
I've tried and tried and given him chance after chance and still he chooses drugs over his family. I don't want anyone to ever think that I don't love him because I left. I love him so much it hurts doing this. I've tried so much to keep our family together and our marriage from ending, but I can't keep living like this and wondering if he's going to come home or not. Are we going to be able to pay our bills and put food on the table? I just cry every day.