My family isn't like other families . Sorry really long
Our 5 year old is extremely smart. He was speaking full sentences by one and started using a large vocabulary at 3. He doesn't like to play with toys and can never be by himself unless he is playing video games or watching tv. He is constantly at my side. He is VERY hyperactive and getting him to follow instructions is impossible. For example yesterday he was repetitively running back and forth down the hallway and kicking the walls each time he got to the other side. I gave him 3 warning to stop then put him in time out. He got out of timeout and started doing it again so he got sent to his room. Seldom does it end with a spanking. When we talk to him he cowers as if we beat him. He has developed a tic at the age of 3 and bites his nails and upper lip until they bleed. He seems very depressed and acts as if he is beaten. My family has even came forward and said they suspected that he was being emotionally abided which he is NOT! I have taken him to the doctor regarding his tic but he says not to worry about it is something he will grow out of. I take him to the doctor very regularly but he doesnt seem concerned. He is not like other children and even asked me if we could sell all his toys and buy him a regular bed (he has a loft playhouse bed with a slide) . Anyway that is our oldest
Then there is our two year old who at first showed signs of wanting to play with toys but since our oldest doesn't he is sort of following in his foot steps. Instead of playing with toys he throws them or breaks them intentionally. He runs from us in public thinking its fun (he gets popped on the butt for this) but he always does it no matter what and won't even walk to the car on his own without dashing for the road laughing. I feel like he has to be on constant suicide watch.
Then there is my husband who walks around like a zombie all the time. A very depressed zombie. He never showers or brushes his teeth. even when we argue about it. He doesn't talk (like real conversations) to me anymore and never does anything to show his love. I honestly feel like we are only room mates. He is constantly consumed with some sort of hobby or interest but never follows through with them. Just sits around on his phone all day looking up stuff (I'm usually in the same room because he usually follows me so i know from that he isn't hiding anything) it's almost like its a distraction from us.
He never acknowledged the kids unless I tell him too then he pouts like a little kid. It's almost as if he cares about nobody but himself. . He tells me he loves me all the time but its usually when i get upset or after he has gotten to work. he seems to open up so much more when he is away from me and doesn't hide his phone from me or anything like that but he lies to me about a lot of stupid crap like he told me he quit smoking but then I found out he still had been for over a year. He would buy whole packs of cigarettes while out doing something smoke maybe 2 then throw the rest away just to hide it from me. This hurt my feelings so bad because he knows I could care less if he smokes or not. I'm not his mother and he shouldn't hide stuff from me. He never goes out with friends and doesn't even have any from what I know. I tried to have my friend and her boyfriend come over the other night and he got mad about it and started saying mean things about my friend. We never socialize with other couples.
Well anyway he doesn't do anything for me ever no matter what the occasion I mean simple stuff like taking me to a park randomly or jumping in the shower with me just little things that lets me know that HE knows I'm alive... Nothing.. Ive never been to a restaurant with him. every day is the exact same. He has also developed a tic as well with his neck he has been doing for about a year now. He complains how he hates having the kids all the time and we can't ever do anything together but we can't afford a baby sitter and my family won't help out with our kids ever. My parents live a block over and have never had them all night. Wouldn't even watch them on our honey moon.
Anyway I feel like my family is slowly falling apart and I don't know what to do. As far as my husband goes, I've been trying to do everything to please him. All his little hobbies he has gotten I've gone out and gotten for him like metal detector and a project motorcycle. This has all been within the last few months.
He ends up complaining how he wants to go do stuff with me but we can't because of the boys. Then he ends up moving onto a different project. There is actually an affordable motorcycle that is for sale up the road that I was thinking of buying him today but I'm afraid with him being so depressed like at home he will go out and cheat on me or something. The other day we were at the gas station and my husband was talking to the guy at the next pump over and I over heard the guy say "omg bikes are such panty droppers" my husband just laughed. I'm sure just harmless guy talk but still.
All of this is sending me into a deep depression. I have break downs a few times a year. I try talking to my husband about things but he insists everything is fine. Maybe I am the problem
Sorry for any errors I'm on my phone.