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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

14 year old "in love"? Update!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 368 Replies

My son is 14.  We have a pretty decent relationship, and I don't have a lot of problems with him.  That hasn't changed.  However, he recently told me that he has a girlfriend, and he loves her.  He says that she is a really nice girl.  She seems to have some issues, though.  He showed me some text messages between them (yes, he voluntarily showed me, since I'm sure someone will assume otherwise).  She seems to lack any sort of self-confidence.  She made several comments in the texts about how she doesn't think that she's pretty, or when she's having a hard time she "pushes the people closest to her away".  She also admitted to my son that, at some point in the past, she tried to kill herself.  I'm not sure if this is true or not, because my son claims that her father doesn't know (that only tells me 2 things: she is lying to get sympathy/attention from my DS, or that she actually tried to kill herself and somehow managed to hide that from her father).

I spoke with DS about the seriousness of what she told him, and I told him that if she ever started talking like she wanted to kill herself, he needed to tell me so that she can get the help that he is not equipped to give her, but I don't know how much of it he heard.

I'm afraid that my son might get wrapped up in something that he can't handle.  Any suggestions?


Apparently this girl has now broken up with him for another guy!  He showed me the messages and her twitter account.  She is being a complete bitch to him, and he is just so sad.  My heart is breaking for him :(

She is saying really hurtful things to him, like this other guy is so much better than him, and when he said "I hope he makes you as happy as you made me when we were dating", she said "He definitely will".  On her twitter she is telling him to shut the hell up and stuff like that.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 15, 2013 at 9:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 15, 2013 at 9:35 PM

BUMP!

IandLoveandYou
by Penny Lane on May. 15, 2013 at 9:36 PM
6 moms liked this
They're kids.. I'd let it be.
ADC2005
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2013 at 9:37 PM
51 moms liked this
Sounds like a pretty typical teenage girl these days, I can understand your concern for your son though. It sounds like you have great communication. Just keep talking to him, don't give any signs that you don't like the girl, it will just make him stop talking to you about it and give them the its is against the world mentality
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 15, 2013 at 9:37 PM
5 moms liked this

They are 14 year olds "in love", one of whom has issues and may or may not be suicidal.  I should let that be?

Quoting IandLoveandYou:

They're kids.. I'd let it be.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 15, 2013 at 9:38 PM

I don't have any problems with her personally, I'm just worried that this might not go the way he hopes, or that he might end up entrenched in some pretty heavy stuff.

Quoting ADC2005:

Sounds like a pretty typical teenage girl these days, I can understand your concern for your son though. It sounds like you have great communication. Just keep talking to him, don't give any signs that you don't like the girl, it will just make him stop talking to you about it and give them the its is against the world mentality


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 15, 2013 at 9:40 PM
12 moms liked this
I wouldn't let my 14 yo have a "gf" .
bleumonster
by Ruby Member on May. 15, 2013 at 9:41 PM
6 moms liked this
What she probably means is that everything is so much more dramatic and intense at this age but that most of the time is comes to nothing. Keep the communication lines open and an eye out.


Quoting Anonymous:

They are 14 year olds "in love", one of whom has issues and may or may not be suicidal.  I should let that be?

Quoting IandLoveandYou:

They're kids.. I'd let it be.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 15, 2013 at 9:42 PM

The fact that she claims to have ACTUALLY attempted suicide wouldn't be a problem for you?

That's where I keep getting stuck.

Quoting bleumonster:

What she probably means is that everything is so much more dramatic and intense at this age but that most of the time is comes to nothing. Keep the communication lines open and an eye out.


Quoting Anonymous:

They are 14 year olds "in love", one of whom has issues and may or may not be suicidal.  I should let that be?

Quoting IandLoveandYou:

They're kids.. I'd let it be.




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 15, 2013 at 9:43 PM
6 moms liked this

How much say do I really have in that, though?  He doesn't bring her home, and he doesn't go to her house, but I can't stop them from labeling themselves as such at school and to their friends.  Trying would only damage our relationship, and at this point, that's not really something that I'm willing to do.

Quoting Anonymous:

I wouldn't let my 14 yo have a "gf" .


lowencope
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2013 at 9:45 PM
2 moms liked this
Girls that age are dramatic. Suicide should be taken seriously of course but I really don't think you should worry.
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