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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"Redshirting" are you for or against it... AND WHY!?

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How do you feel about holding any child back from entering kindergarten until they are 6 instead of 5?

Do you like the idea...?

Do dislike the idea...?

I admit I did some research on this topic. And I am posting this because I have made the decision to Hold my son back a year. He will not begin formal educational activities until 6. 

Why?

Here are the real life results of Redshirting that made up my mind to hold my son back.

  1. achieve academically in math and reading either at par with or above their classroom peers.
  2. have increased social confidence and popularity.
  3. require less special education services than children who were retained in kindergarten instead of redshirted.
  4. are far less likely to be singled out as children who need medications for ADHD.

With results like these who can argue that it IS in the best interest of the child to be held back one year. 

by on May. 16, 2013 at 8:29 AM
Replies (411-420):
DarkSerendipity
by on May. 17, 2013 at 10:44 AM

I have held my son back from kindergarten, and he turned 6 just a few days ago. I did it because he has Asperger's, and I wanted him to be ready - mentally, emotionally, and socially. We've hit roadblocks along the way, including him being fully potty trained, now I'm VERY glad that I held him back. He's doing great now (with being able to go on the potty), but he will still be getting evaluated by special ed teachers and having an IEP (individualized education plan) put in place.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 80 on May. 17, 2013 at 10:54 AM

Wait you can do that? My son is 5 years old. He will be 6 in December. He is not emotionally mature enough for school. But then that worries me, because he's already over 51 inches tall and 80 lbs. He's bigger than all of the kids his age already - which just contributes to his social akwardness - on top of his disabilities, so I don't think that I would hold him back.. because I feel it could make him more of a target/outcast. But I didn't know you could do that

Eliots_momma
by Gold Member on May. 17, 2013 at 10:56 AM
I would never do it personally. I started school at 4 and had a BA before I turned 21. It was great!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 79 on May. 17, 2013 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Actually all states have guidleines for children attending school and most say they must start by age 8. Also they can not start at 4 in most states with out being tested first to see if they are capable of begining early. My x father in law taught elementary school for 40 years. He said the problem with children starting too early, like immediatly after turning 5 that although they may do well the first year or so when they get to 3 and 4th grade they tend to struggle immensly leaving the teachers with children that have to be held back then.

Want to know whats really funny, kinda of prooves her point,  my DD;s Kindergarten class has 20 kids, the children are seperated into 4 different groups through out the day. Each group does certain activities based on their learning levels, The 1st group has 3 6 year olds and 1 7 year old, they are ahead of the other children, the ones who are 6 will turn 7 right after school ends they could read when school started, they knew all 121 sight words when school started they  need no help with their papersand they read at a 2nd grade level Group 2, which my daughteris in, they are all 6 each of them turned 6 in the middle of the year. They are above average, they all read at 1st grade level, and have had no issues at all learning they all knew all the site words by the middle of the year , they pick up quickly, as DD's teacher puts it they are the perfect students, she says this because these children are extrememly teachable, they pick u p quickly and they don't struggle. Group 3 is 4 children who turned 5 at the begining of last summer. these children have all just finally after almost a whole school year learned the site words, they are struggling with reading and need a lot of assistance in most of their daily activites, they need more attention then the teacher can give with that many kids. The final group , all but one of them is being held back, thats only beacuse the mother has been working with her child. These kids turned 5 immediatly when school started or just with in weeks before school starting. One of them does not know any of the site words despite all the work the aid has been doing with him, he fails all the reading tests and the math tests . The others know some of the words the very easy ones like the, is, it, a . They can not independantly ready like group 1 and 2 , they need constant assistance and have an aid with them at all times. Now mind you our school system is pretty advanced here so that may be part of it. Needless to say I know all this because i go to the school and help her teacher alot and I work with the groups of kids. I know thier birthdays becauseshe has every one listed on a chart. I find it funny her class is the perfect example. Shes a great teacher, as with most she tries hard to give each child her undevided attention through out the day even the ones who don't need it.She told me she would love to have time to work one on one with the ones shw have such a hard time but with such a large class it just isn't possible

Quoting EarlGrayHot:

Normally local schools have regulations on when you can or MUST start school.  I doubt holding a kid back until they are 7 or 8 fits those guildelines.  I also think I' would question those findings you quiote and wonder if they are legitimate results form legitimate studies.  Some studies have an agenda rather than being blind and empiracal.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 81 on May. 17, 2013 at 11:33 AM

I have no idea what that was. I didn't know there was a term for it.

I didn't send my son to kindergarten until he was six ( his Bday is in june ). It's just a personal choice on my end. I didn't feel like he was ready. He was having some difficulties. I took him up to the school and had a meeting with the assistant principle the counselor and a kindergarten teacher. They met with DS and saw what he could/ could not do, and they agreed with me to wait another year.

I knew he had a LD, but they said he was far too young to be tested. So I waited, and kept him at home and had our own little kindergarten class at home. The next year we enrolled him, and he did well. Still struggled a bit, but not near as much as he would have the previous years. This year ( he's in 2nd grade ) he was finally diagnosed with dyslexia. I say finally because I new since he was 5 that he had dyslexia. They might not have been able to test him, but I was able to see the signs. I have it, my dad had it and so does my brother. So I was able to see the signs earlier than they were able to.

mom2the.rescue
by Gold Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:37 AM

I wish I would've done it for my boys.  I ended up holding ds1 back in 4th grade when we moved.  I figured that was the only time I could do it w/o social repercussions and he needed more time.  I didn't realize people did this when he started kg.  His bday is June, my other son is July...so they weren't super young.  Our state is changing the ages here...it used to be you had to be 5 by December (so many kids were starting kg at only 4.5).  Now it'll be 5 by September.  Much better.

HeathLaw22
by Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:58 AM

My DS is 18 months but I am planning on having him take the test to get into kindergarten when he is four his birthday is in October, and next year right before he turns three I want to try to get him into an early preschool class. But I also want to send him to a montessori school.

twade26
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:22 PM

I think it just depends on the child and their maturity level. Whether or not they are ready for school.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 51 on May. 18, 2013 at 2:50 AM
Omg i feel the same way with wanting to hunt down their mom. I think to a point we really dont take advantage of the sponges kids brains are.


Quoting Anonymous:

I knew boys like that too. Twins and they had a younger brother. All were extremely intelligent like Dewey Houser because their mother Home schooled them their first years and was active in it. I want to find her and get her curriculum! ;)



Quoting Anonymous:

When i started college(age 16) i thought i was a youngin, but in my math class there was 2 brothers (11 & 13) in my class. They were full time students, and freaking smart. (They tutored most the people in our class, not basic math either) They were of another culture and home schooled. Since meeting them i always wanted to give my kids that type of education (both had full scholarships, just had to wait on age, so they were doing their AA at community college) I personally think the majority of the American school system sucks.

Momof0710
by Gold Member on May. 18, 2013 at 3:58 PM

I didn't know this term until after my daughter started school.  She turned 5 the end of July 2012 and school started Aug 6th.  I thought about holding her back bc she seemed too young to me (I didn't want to let go and 5 is too young to start school IMO), but she did well in all the workbooks I did with her (she never went to pre-k or anything bc I stayed home with her and taught her myself) so I talked it over with my husband and we decided she was ready.  School lets out next Fri and she did great all year!  She didn't struggle with anything and when they did the k awards she got a special reading award which was the best award she could've got IMO bc that was the one thing I hadn't taught her before school started.  I didn't teach her everything they did obviously, but she knew all the basics and could write her name, letters and numbers, etc.  My son has a June birthday so when it's time for him to go ill decide if he's ready to go or not.  He's very smart and knows all the basics and he's not even 3 yet, but the maturity level in boys worries me bc a lot of other ppl were talking about boys maturing later than girls.  So ill just wait and see if he's ready in every way, but if he's not I'll hold him back bc both of my kids will be 5 through the whole k year.  If I hold my son back he'll be 6 the whole year and the other kids will turn 6 so he won't look like he's ahead.  I think it depends on the child and its the parents job to do what's best for their kids.  I think starting them when they're 6 if they're not ready at 5 is better than holding them back in a later year, but parents have to do the best they can and hope it's the right decision.  

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