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take responsibility for your actions edit

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So my friend calls me tonight telling me that she was raped. I rushed over to her house and see if she wanted to go to the DR. and make a report to the police. She tells me she is scared because they won't believe her. So she tells me her story.

She was at this party with her guy friend, she is known to be a big flirt, she will flirt with anyone and i have always told her that one day it will get you in trouble it is not the perfect world that we would like it to be. She never listens, well tonight she was doing her thing but this time she takes it too far. She starts kissing on this guy and telling him she wants to take him in the room just doing whatever she can to get a rise out of him. I mean grabbing all over him she leads him to the room and starts dancing for him and kissing on him doing everything so when he finally gets down to sleep with her she tells him no but from what she said she was on top of him and he just stuck it in and just went for it.

By this time I am mad at her because I know the guys she is crying rape on and he is not like that he has not been with too many girls he is kinda shy and has had a huge cruss on her since the beginning of school. I told her she needed to take responsibility for this because you instated this and at the very last second right as he is about to put it in you want to stop. She gets mad at me saying that he violated her and I am like you just about raped him yourself. I told her one of these days all this flirting and stuff will bite you in the butt. and I just left. I can't be friends with someone like this she is calling me as I am writing this but enough is enough. She is about to ruin this guy because she can't keep her clothes on. I don't condone rape but if you are being stupid like this come on.


Edit:

Ok so I just got done talking with the guy and her and she made the whole thing up. From what I can gather from him and witness she tried to get him to sleep with her but he refused. He did go into the room and she gave him a bj and he left. I taked to her and she finally admitted that she was not raped but just pissed off at him becasue he would not sleep with her. Ugg Now I am never going to tak to her again.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 19, 2013 at 2:08 AM
Replies (41-50):
DestinyRoseLC
by on May. 19, 2013 at 8:14 AM
This sounds like some hs bs. How old are y'all?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on May. 19, 2013 at 8:24 AM

I'm sorry that happened to you, but to lump everyone in that category because of one person.... well I don't think I need to finish that sentence. Also, answering your question won't help. You clearly don't want an answer because the answer will only enrage you more, make you defensive, and lead you to the same conclusion that we are all horrible people. I'm not playing into that. Sorry. Again, I'm sorry that this woman did that to you, but I'm not going to be the one you verbally beat up over it.


Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

A case worker and "victims" advocate huh? Tell me just exactly how are you an advocate for victims? The one I had was a pathetic excuse for a woman, an advocate, hell a human being. She made it clear to me it was my fault, that I would never get help, that I should have been smarter and had a rape kit done. Despite the fact I had bruises everywhere, despite the fact I reported it to my doctors and all they could do was write down my injuries. I have zero faith in "victims advocates", because it was made clear to me that it meant "prosecutors advocate". I still hate that cunt.

Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't say they did. The reason I listed all of those questions is because guess who is going to ask those very same questions....the authorities when and if she reports it. I was a case worker and advocate for rape victims. As unpleasent as it is, the first thing they will do is ask her if she has signs of force. The next questions will be about doing a rape kit, has she showered, where are the clothes, and everything else I mentioned. I never said that all rapes show that so don't put words there that aren't. There is nothing "wrong with people" when those are the questions that any police officer will and is obligated to ask. It's called how they catch the rapist and help work with the rape victim. They have to rule out and narrow down certain things and that requires evidence of some kind. Unfortunatly, or fortunatly dependong on how you look at it, the words "he/she raped me" have to be backed up for proper arrest and prosecution.

Didn't mean to hit anon on this when I posted it....


Quoting Anonymous:

And not all rapes show evidence of damage..what is wrong with people?





Quoting scribemommeg:

Okay wait wait wait. She went from dancing and kissing to being on top of him in such a manner that he was able to "just stick it in" and go for it. So she was at least partially unclothed for this then right? Either that or she was doing the all skirt no panties thing. Either way going from dancing and kissing to him just sticking it in....that skipped some levels quickly.

Is she willing to do a rape kit at the hospital? If in fact it was rape and forced on her (I say if because of course I wasn't there. only the two of them were) the rape kit would show evidence of tearing, violence, and other signs of forceable rape. If she is willing to do a rape kit then fine. If she refuses the rape kit I woudl ask her why. The "they won't believe me" is fine for a reason to not tell cops, but to not do the rape kit itself...that's a different matter. Did she shower already? Was there any physical evidence of bruising or violence that she took pictures of or asked you to take pics of? Did she wash the clothes she had on that would have evidence? All of these things play into the accusation of rape.








Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on May. 19, 2013 at 8:26 AM
It sounds like you should have one less friend.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 19, 2013 at 9:25 AM
So she never told him to stop? She just decided after that it sucked so she called it rape?




Quoting Elle.tea.22:

That isn't rape in my book, sorry. She wasn't forced, she didn't say or ask him to stop and she came. If I didn't want to have sex I would say no, ask to stop , beg, scream, assault. She did nothing and just kept doing it till she got hers. I won't lie for her, him being sucky in bed isn't rape. It's just bad quality sex lol



Quoting Anonymous:

If she told him to stop because she wasn't enjoying it, then he needs to stop. If he didn't stop, he raped her.






Quoting Elle.tea.22:

Similar story.







I have a not so friend anymore who always told this guy she wanted to fuck him but never didx , made out, invited him to her parties and such. Last party she tells him to wait in her room, she shows up, puts on lingerie for him, makes out, gives him head then when they stated having sex she changed her mind cause he wasn't very good at it and she accused him of rape. Her uncles a cop so you can imagine.







She even told rm this and expected me to just go with it! It's rape cause she didn't want it... Anymore?







I get it a no is a no. A drunk yes is a no. A yes now can be a no later but just because he wasn't good? I would take if as a loss, call it a pitty fuck and never call him again! After over a year of trying to get him. Guy was a virgin we were later told. Way to ruin a man.


BekahBrownEyes
by NoLies on May. 19, 2013 at 10:18 AM
Good grief....umm thanks or your response? Only a couple questions....why did you take my venting so personally? It was a legitimate question. I wanted to know what a victims advocate should do, because the one I had never should have had the job. Your reaction makes no sense, I did want an answer. Not why my case was ignored, I know that already. You clearly should stop making assumptions because I am still pissed and I have every right to be. My venom is directed at the pathetic twat that made ne feel like I DESERVED to be raped. She never helped make me feel safe. Don't you think that would make you question what that person is really there to do? Is it normal practice to go get an ADA to come in and talk to a rape victim? Is it normal for that ADA to look at someone and tell them "well WE didn't choose him for a boyfriend Mrs. ______" ?

You han opportunity here to change my mind about "victims advocates", but since you're convinced I won't listen I guess I will never know how she SHOULD have done her job. Is it such a horrible thing to want answers? Appears that way, at least. Maybe you're fantastic at doing it, who knows. Excuse me for still being pissed and confused. I'm sorry you took my rant so personally.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry that happened to you, but to lump everyone in that category because of one person.... well I don't think I need to finish that sentence. Also, answering your question won't help. You clearly don't want an answer because the answer will only enrage you more, make you defensive, and lead you to the same conclusion that we are all horrible people. I'm not playing into that. Sorry. Again, I'm sorry that this woman did that to you, but I'm not going to be the one you verbally beat up over it.



Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

A case worker and "victims" advocate huh? Tell me just exactly how are you an advocate for victims? The one I had was a pathetic excuse for a woman, an advocate, hell a human being. She made it clear to me it was my fault, that I would never get help, that I should have been smarter and had a rape kit done. Despite the fact I had bruises everywhere, despite the fact I reported it to my doctors and all they could do was write down my injuries. I have zero faith in "victims advocates", because it was made clear to me that it meant "prosecutors advocate". I still hate that cunt.



Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't say they did. The reason I listed all of those questions is because guess who is going to ask those very same questions....the authorities when and if she reports it. I was a case worker and advocate for rape victims. As unpleasent as it is, the first thing they will do is ask her if she has signs of force. The next questions will be about doing a rape kit, has she showered, where are the clothes, and everything else I mentioned. I never said that all rapes show that so don't put words there that aren't. There is nothing "wrong with people" when those are the questions that any police officer will and is obligated to ask. It's called how they catch the rapist and help work with the rape victim. They have to rule out and narrow down certain things and that requires evidence of some kind. Unfortunatly, or fortunatly dependong on how you look at it, the words "he/she raped me" have to be backed up for proper arrest and prosecution.

Didn't mean to hit anon on this when I posted it....



Quoting Anonymous:

And not all rapes show evidence of damage..what is wrong with people?








Quoting scribemommeg:

Okay wait wait wait. She went from dancing and kissing to being on top of him in such a manner that he was able to "just stick it in" and go for it. So she was at least partially unclothed for this then right? Either that or she was doing the all skirt no panties thing. Either way going from dancing and kissing to him just sticking it in....that skipped some levels quickly.

Is she willing to do a rape kit at the hospital? If in fact it was rape and forced on her (I say if because of course I wasn't there. only the two of them were) the rape kit would show evidence of tearing, violence, and other signs of forceable rape. If she is willing to do a rape kit then fine. If she refuses the rape kit I woudl ask her why. The "they won't believe me" is fine for a reason to not tell cops, but to not do the rape kit itself...that's a different matter. Did she shower already? Was there any physical evidence of bruising or violence that she took pictures of or asked you to take pics of? Did she wash the clothes she had on that would have evidence? All of these things play into the accusation of rape.











Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on May. 19, 2013 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this


The attitude you used and the wording you used towards my post is the reason I took it personally. You came into it with the anger towards the advocate who wronged you and put it towards me as if all advocates were that way. Go back and read your question to me, response, etc and look at it from not you stating it but you receiving it. That's why I took it personally.

As far as answering you I simply don't believe with the anger you have to the other advocate, and rightfully so, that you would be open to anything I had to say about the what advocates generally do. Again I'm sorry that this happened to you, but I just don't feel you are in a place (judging from your response and the way you posed the initial question) that you care to or really want to hear the answer.  You do have the right to be pissed and any other time I would gladly answer you. However, in this thread, with the anger you displayed towards my post about being an advocate...I don't feel now is the time. I apologize but I'm just not going to try to answer when I know it won't be well recieved either way I go.

Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

Good grief....umm thanks or your response? Only a couple questions....why did you take my venting so personally? It was a legitimate question. I wanted to know what a victims advocate should do, because the one I had never should have had the job. Your reaction makes no sense, I did want an answer. Not why my case was ignored, I know that already. You clearly should stop making assumptions because I am still pissed and I have every right to be. My venom is directed at the pathetic twat that made ne feel like I DESERVED to be raped. She never helped make me feel safe. Don't you think that would make you question what that person is really there to do? Is it normal practice to go get an ADA to come in and talk to a rape victim? Is it normal for that ADA to look at someone and tell them "well WE didn't choose him for a boyfriend Mrs. ______" ?

You han opportunity here to change my mind about "victims advocates", but since you're convinced I won't listen I guess I will never know how she SHOULD have done her job. Is it such a horrible thing to want answers? Appears that way, at least. Maybe you're fantastic at doing it, who knows. Excuse me for still being pissed and confused. I'm sorry you took my rant so personally.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry that happened to you, but to lump everyone in that category because of one person.... well I don't think I need to finish that sentence. Also, answering your question won't help. You clearly don't want an answer because the answer will only enrage you more, make you defensive, and lead you to the same conclusion that we are all horrible people. I'm not playing into that. Sorry. Again, I'm sorry that this woman did that to you, but I'm not going to be the one you verbally beat up over it.



Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

A case worker and "victims" advocate huh? Tell me just exactly how are you an advocate for victims? The one I had was a pathetic excuse for a woman, an advocate, hell a human being. She made it clear to me it was my fault, that I would never get help, that I should have been smarter and had a rape kit done. Despite the fact I had bruises everywhere, despite the fact I reported it to my doctors and all they could do was write down my injuries. I have zero faith in "victims advocates", because it was made clear to me that it meant "prosecutors advocate". I still hate that cunt.



Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't say they did. The reason I listed all of those questions is because guess who is going to ask those very same questions....the authorities when and if she reports it. I was a case worker and advocate for rape victims. As unpleasent as it is, the first thing they will do is ask her if she has signs of force. The next questions will be about doing a rape kit, has she showered, where are the clothes, and everything else I mentioned. I never said that all rapes show that so don't put words there that aren't. There is nothing "wrong with people" when those are the questions that any police officer will and is obligated to ask. It's called how they catch the rapist and help work with the rape victim. They have to rule out and narrow down certain things and that requires evidence of some kind. Unfortunatly, or fortunatly dependong on how you look at it, the words "he/she raped me" have to be backed up for proper arrest and prosecution.

Didn't mean to hit anon on this when I posted it....



Quoting Anonymous:

And not all rapes show evidence of damage..what is wrong with people?








Quoting scribemommeg:

Okay wait wait wait. She went from dancing and kissing to being on top of him in such a manner that he was able to "just stick it in" and go for it. So she was at least partially unclothed for this then right? Either that or she was doing the all skirt no panties thing. Either way going from dancing and kissing to him just sticking it in....that skipped some levels quickly.

Is she willing to do a rape kit at the hospital? If in fact it was rape and forced on her (I say if because of course I wasn't there. only the two of them were) the rape kit would show evidence of tearing, violence, and other signs of forceable rape. If she is willing to do a rape kit then fine. If she refuses the rape kit I woudl ask her why. The "they won't believe me" is fine for a reason to not tell cops, but to not do the rape kit itself...that's a different matter. Did she shower already? Was there any physical evidence of bruising or violence that she took pictures of or asked you to take pics of? Did she wash the clothes she had on that would have evidence? All of these things play into the accusation of rape.













Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on May. 19, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Wow, what a whore
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on May. 19, 2013 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this
It is bitches like her that make it harder for real victims to be believed.
BekahBrownEyes
by NoLies on May. 19, 2013 at 11:05 AM
Thank you for the lesson. However if you truly felt this way, why not just ignore my reply? Yeah, and I'M the one with "attitude".

Here's an idea...stop replying :)

You have a super fantastic day. :))



Quoting Anonymous:


The attitude you used and the wording you used towards my post is the reason I took it personally. You came into it with the anger towards the advocate who wronged you and put it towards me as if all advocates were that way. Go back and read your question to me, response, etc and look at it from not you stating it but you receiving it. That's why I took it personally.

As far as answering you I simply don't believe with the anger you have to the other advocate, and rightfully so, that you would be open to anything I had to say about the what advocates generally do. Again I'm sorry that this happened to you, but I just don't feel you are in a place (judging from your response and the way you posed the initial question) that you care to or really want to hear the answer.  You do have the right to be pissed and any other time I would gladly answer you. However, in this thread, with the anger you displayed towards my post about being an advocate...I don't feel now is the time. I apologize but I'm just not going to try to answer when I know it won't be well recieved either way I go.


Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

Good grief....umm thanks or your response? Only a couple questions....why did you take my venting so personally? It was a legitimate question. I wanted to know what a victims advocate should do, because the one I had never should have had the job. Your reaction makes no sense, I did want an answer. Not why my case was ignored, I know that already. You clearly should stop making assumptions because I am still pissed and I have every right to be. My venom is directed at the pathetic twat that made ne feel like I DESERVED to be raped. She never helped make me feel safe. Don't you think that would make you question what that person is really there to do? Is it normal practice to go get an ADA to come in and talk to a rape victim? Is it normal for that ADA to look at someone and tell them "well WE didn't choose him for a boyfriend Mrs. ______" ?



You han opportunity here to change my mind about "victims advocates", but since you're convinced I won't listen I guess I will never know how she SHOULD have done her job. Is it such a horrible thing to want answers? Appears that way, at least. Maybe you're fantastic at doing it, who knows. Excuse me for still being pissed and confused. I'm sorry you took my rant so personally.



Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry that happened to you, but to lump everyone in that category because of one person.... well I don't think I need to finish that sentence. Also, answering your question won't help. You clearly don't want an answer because the answer will only enrage you more, make you defensive, and lead you to the same conclusion that we are all horrible people. I'm not playing into that. Sorry. Again, I'm sorry that this woman did that to you, but I'm not going to be the one you verbally beat up over it.




Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

A case worker and "victims" advocate huh? Tell me just exactly how are you an advocate for victims? The one I had was a pathetic excuse for a woman, an advocate, hell a human being. She made it clear to me it was my fault, that I would never get help, that I should have been smarter and had a rape kit done. Despite the fact I had bruises everywhere, despite the fact I reported it to my doctors and all they could do was write down my injuries. I have zero faith in "victims advocates", because it was made clear to me that it meant "prosecutors advocate". I still hate that cunt.





Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't say they did. The reason I listed all of those questions is because guess who is going to ask those very same questions....the authorities when and if she reports it. I was a case worker and advocate for rape victims. As unpleasent as it is, the first thing they will do is ask her if she has signs of force. The next questions will be about doing a rape kit, has she showered, where are the clothes, and everything else I mentioned. I never said that all rapes show that so don't put words there that aren't. There is nothing "wrong with people" when those are the questions that any police officer will and is obligated to ask. It's called how they catch the rapist and help work with the rape victim. They have to rule out and narrow down certain things and that requires evidence of some kind. Unfortunatly, or fortunatly dependong on how you look at it, the words "he/she raped me" have to be backed up for proper arrest and prosecution.

Didn't mean to hit anon on this when I posted it....




Quoting Anonymous:

And not all rapes show evidence of damage..what is wrong with people?











Quoting scribemommeg:

Okay wait wait wait. She went from dancing and kissing to being on top of him in such a manner that he was able to "just stick it in" and go for it. So she was at least partially unclothed for this then right? Either that or she was doing the all skirt no panties thing. Either way going from dancing and kissing to him just sticking it in....that skipped some levels quickly.

Is she willing to do a rape kit at the hospital? If in fact it was rape and forced on her (I say if because of course I wasn't there. only the two of them were) the rape kit would show evidence of tearing, violence, and other signs of forceable rape. If she is willing to do a rape kit then fine. If she refuses the rape kit I woudl ask her why. The "they won't believe me" is fine for a reason to not tell cops, but to not do the rape kit itself...that's a different matter. Did she shower already? Was there any physical evidence of bruising or violence that she took pictures of or asked you to take pics of? Did she wash the clothes she had on that would have evidence? All of these things play into the accusation of rape.

















Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on May. 19, 2013 at 11:10 AM


Sorry, it isn't in my nature to not reply when a response is voiced to me with  question marks in it. Again sorry this happened to you, but this thread really isn't the time or the place to discuss it. You have a fantastic day as well and maybe one day we can discuss what she should have done versus what happened.

Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

Thank you for the lesson. However if you truly felt this way, why not just ignore my reply? Yeah, and I'M the one with "attitude".

Here's an idea...stop replying :)

You have a super fantastic day. :))



Quoting Anonymous:


The attitude you used and the wording you used towards my post is the reason I took it personally. You came into it with the anger towards the advocate who wronged you and put it towards me as if all advocates were that way. Go back and read your question to me, response, etc and look at it from not you stating it but you receiving it. That's why I took it personally.

As far as answering you I simply don't believe with the anger you have to the other advocate, and rightfully so, that you would be open to anything I had to say about the what advocates generally do. Again I'm sorry that this happened to you, but I just don't feel you are in a place (judging from your response and the way you posed the initial question) that you care to or really want to hear the answer.  You do have the right to be pissed and any other time I would gladly answer you. However, in this thread, with the anger you displayed towards my post about being an advocate...I don't feel now is the time. I apologize but I'm just not going to try to answer when I know it won't be well recieved either way I go.


Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

Good grief....umm thanks or your response? Only a couple questions....why did you take my venting so personally? It was a legitimate question. I wanted to know what a victims advocate should do, because the one I had never should have had the job. Your reaction makes no sense, I did want an answer. Not why my case was ignored, I know that already. You clearly should stop making assumptions because I am still pissed and I have every right to be. My venom is directed at the pathetic twat that made ne feel like I DESERVED to be raped. She never helped make me feel safe. Don't you think that would make you question what that person is really there to do? Is it normal practice to go get an ADA to come in and talk to a rape victim? Is it normal for that ADA to look at someone and tell them "well WE didn't choose him for a boyfriend Mrs. ______" ?



You han opportunity here to change my mind about "victims advocates", but since you're convinced I won't listen I guess I will never know how she SHOULD have done her job. Is it such a horrible thing to want answers? Appears that way, at least. Maybe you're fantastic at doing it, who knows. Excuse me for still being pissed and confused. I'm sorry you took my rant so personally.



Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry that happened to you, but to lump everyone in that category because of one person.... well I don't think I need to finish that sentence. Also, answering your question won't help. You clearly don't want an answer because the answer will only enrage you more, make you defensive, and lead you to the same conclusion that we are all horrible people. I'm not playing into that. Sorry. Again, I'm sorry that this woman did that to you, but I'm not going to be the one you verbally beat up over it.




Quoting BekahBrownEyes:

A case worker and "victims" advocate huh? Tell me just exactly how are you an advocate for victims? The one I had was a pathetic excuse for a woman, an advocate, hell a human being. She made it clear to me it was my fault, that I would never get help, that I should have been smarter and had a rape kit done. Despite the fact I had bruises everywhere, despite the fact I reported it to my doctors and all they could do was write down my injuries. I have zero faith in "victims advocates", because it was made clear to me that it meant "prosecutors advocate". I still hate that cunt.





Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't say they did. The reason I listed all of those questions is because guess who is going to ask those very same questions....the authorities when and if she reports it. I was a case worker and advocate for rape victims. As unpleasent as it is, the first thing they will do is ask her if she has signs of force. The next questions will be about doing a rape kit, has she showered, where are the clothes, and everything else I mentioned. I never said that all rapes show that so don't put words there that aren't. There is nothing "wrong with people" when those are the questions that any police officer will and is obligated to ask. It's called how they catch the rapist and help work with the rape victim. They have to rule out and narrow down certain things and that requires evidence of some kind. Unfortunatly, or fortunatly dependong on how you look at it, the words "he/she raped me" have to be backed up for proper arrest and prosecution.

Didn't mean to hit anon on this when I posted it....




Quoting Anonymous:

And not all rapes show evidence of damage..what is wrong with people?











Quoting scribemommeg:

Okay wait wait wait. She went from dancing and kissing to being on top of him in such a manner that he was able to "just stick it in" and go for it. So she was at least partially unclothed for this then right? Either that or she was doing the all skirt no panties thing. Either way going from dancing and kissing to him just sticking it in....that skipped some levels quickly.

Is she willing to do a rape kit at the hospital? If in fact it was rape and forced on her (I say if because of course I wasn't there. only the two of them were) the rape kit would show evidence of tearing, violence, and other signs of forceable rape. If she is willing to do a rape kit then fine. If she refuses the rape kit I woudl ask her why. The "they won't believe me" is fine for a reason to not tell cops, but to not do the rape kit itself...that's a different matter. Did she shower already? Was there any physical evidence of bruising or violence that she took pictures of or asked you to take pics of? Did she wash the clothes she had on that would have evidence? All of these things play into the accusation of rape.



















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