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At what age should I tell my son dh is not his bio dad?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 222 Replies

He is almost 7. Ive been with dh since he was 18 mos. We have yet to mention anything but I dont want him to hate me for lying to him when he's older :( please I need advice.

 

Thank you for all of your advice and for keeping this post for the majority civil and EXTREMELY helpful. Me and my husband decided together (with the help of you guys) to slowly start explaining to him in very basic 7 year old terms. Thank you all again:)

Posted by Anonymous on May. 19, 2013 at 4:44 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 19, 2013 at 4:48 AM
3 moms liked this
Wow, I'm in an almost identical situation. My son's bio dad is not and never has been in our lives. The only dad he knows is my husband, he starting calling him daddy when he was a few years old.

I have no clue when or how we will tell our son. But, I know it will be sooner or later because my husband wants to adopt him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 19, 2013 at 4:48 AM

When it becomes an issue!

livric
by Gold Member on May. 19, 2013 at 4:49 AM
24 moms liked this

I can not stress enough that you need to tell him NOW!!   please do not put it off any longer  or he will hate you for lying.   My children are from an egg donor,  so biologically they are not mine.   we had to do the same thing, when or if do we tell them.   We basically started talking about it in simple terms from the age of 3.  They have basically just grown up knowing it.   DD is 9 now and she has seen Heidi (egg donor) quite a few times, and knows Heidi kids are actually half sisters.   to her it is no big deal at all,  just something she has always known and no big surprises :)    please tell him really really soon  HUGS  I know what you are feeling..  pm me if you ever want to.    

luvem630
by on May. 19, 2013 at 4:49 AM
4 moms liked this
Why does he need to know at all?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 19, 2013 at 4:53 AM
3 moms liked this
It's a horrible decision. Props to men who stand up for children they didn't help conceive. Good luck mama :)

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow, I'm in an almost identical situation. My son's bio dad is not and never has been in our lives. The only dad he knows is my husband, he starting calling him daddy when he was a few years old.



I have no clue when or how we will tell our son. But, I know it will be sooner or later because my husband wants to adopt him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 19, 2013 at 4:54 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree. I just dont want him to ever feel like we were being sneaky or trying to hide information from him. Kwim?

Quoting Anonymous:

When it becomes an issue!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 19, 2013 at 4:54 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you for your advice! What terms/wording would you suggest for a 7 year old?

Quoting livric:

I can not stress enough that you need to tell him NOW!!   please do not put it off any longer  or he will hate you for lying.   My children are from an egg donor,  so biologically they are not mine.   we had to do the same thing, when or if do we tell them.   We basically started talking about it in simple terms from the age of 3.  They have basically just grown up knowing it.   DD is 9 now and she has seen Heidi (egg donor) quite a few times, and knows Heidi kids are actually half sisters.   to her it is no big deal at all,  just something she has always known and no big surprises :)    please tell him really really soon  HUGS  I know what you are feeling..  pm me if you ever want to.    

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 19, 2013 at 4:54 AM
6 moms liked this
Are you serious? Smdh!

Quoting luvem630:

Why does he need to know at all?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 19, 2013 at 4:56 AM
He will find out eventually.

Quoting luvem630:

Why does he need to know at all?
luvem630
by on May. 19, 2013 at 4:56 AM
Yes I am seriously asking op a question.


Quoting Anonymous:

Are you serious? Smdh!



Quoting luvem630:

Why does he need to know at all?

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