Background my brother is 6 yrs older (I'm 25 he's 31) he doesn't have any kids, he's always been the type of person to make fun of other & thinks it's funny even though the stuff he says is mean and stupid. I had 2 kids at the time ds who was 3 ( he is mentally & physically disabled) and dd who was 1.
my brother and I got into argument at our parents house a little over a year ago, it started out him being an ass to my mom saying things "like when you get old I'm just going to put you in a nursing home" so I responded with "you can live with me mom I wouldn't do that to you". Then he starts on me about how I look like a skunk (my hair was blonde and black), how fat I am (even though he weighs 100lbs more than me and his wife is bigger than me) so I run my mouth back to him. So he starts on DH (even though he wasn't there & I never said anything about my SIL) about how he'll never amount to anything, and he's cheating on me (which he wasn't & my mom told me later my brother was worried about his wife cheating on him). Since that wasn't getting to me he starts on my kids saying I should have aborted ds or gave him up for adoption bc he's nothing but a charity case, and that my kids look like pieces of shit & will always be shit bc they're mine. He said the only reason he ever bought them anything for Christmas or their birthday is bc he felt sorry for them.
i haven't talked to him since and for about the last 6 months he keeps telling my parents he wants to apologize for what he said. We didn't go to thanksgiving or Christmas at my parents bc I knew he would be there, and Dh is still super pissed about what he said to point he wants to hit him, so I know having them in the same room wouldn't be good. My brother keeps showing up at my parents house everytime my kids go over there bc dd comes home talking about him & my parents admit he stops by to see the kids.
My question is would you be able to forgive him? If I decided to (not saying I am) but how would I get dh to also forgive? & thanks in advance for any feedback
****************update*********** I just went to the grocery store with dd to get a couple items when I saw my brother and his wife. They didn't say a damn thing to me, the couple of times I seen them in the store, or when they were one person behind me in line. My SIL just kept giving me weird looks like an oh shit I got caught stairing face and would shake her head when she looked away, and my brother kept acting like he didn't see me. I'm starting to think my mom's full of shit about him wanting to apologize...