I'm sitting on the couch with my youngest (almost 2) and he is sitting on my lap facing me. He is talking, or trying to, and he keeps looking slightly to my left, or slightly over my head (as if looking at something directly behind me) and he says "Spod-ses. Oh no. Whuddowedo?" (from umizoomi). SO I turn around, looking for a crack in the wall, or some crayon markings. Nothing. So he starts to talk to me again. moments later, he does the same thing. And he keeps saying "spod-ses". I'm like what? spots? boxes? what is he trying to say.
Then he adds " Where did he go?" uh....ok. Return to this pattern of talking to me, then looking slightly off of me, saying "spod-ses, oh no". Then he says "There he are!" Continue.
So after about 10 minutes of this, I'm thinking he is definitely seeing something, but what? Is it a ghost or something? WTF? Then....I see it. On the edge of my bangs, right above my right eyebrow, come crawling A FUCKING SPIDER! Not a big one, but still, a FUCKING spider!
Of course I jerk, grab it from my hair, and smash it. He laughs hysterically. I'm still freaking out, running my hands through my hair. He starts looking at my hair, examining it, and says "spod-ses, ALL GONE!"
Now I looked behind me and all around me, trying to figure out what the fuck "spod-ses" was. There was nothing. That means this spider was tap dancing on my fucking head for a awhile!
My skin is still crawling! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! My head itches and tickles. I need to shower, but can't until I get ODS off to school. Then I'm throwing YDS in the shower with me. FUCK THIS.
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