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Do I have a leg to stand on? Please help! I am desperate to keep my son safe! I am so scared. Sorry long!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

Back story. My now Ex-Husband and I married in 2008, legally seperated in November 2010 and divorced in 2012. We had one son in 2009. We divorced because I found out he was cheating on me and a alcoholic. He is still with the girl he cheated on me with and they had a daughter in December 2010. It took forever to finalize our divorce because he was so damn wishy washy and wouldn't give me 100% custody of my son until he realized I had more $$$ and wasn't backing down. With him giving me 100% custody I agreed to let him have visitation every other weekend with no over night visitation and he could only have him on certain hours Saturday and Sunday. He was also ordered to pay $264 monthly in child support. He never pays child support and rarely got our son when he had visitations.

In July 2010 my EX got super drunk...he is a raging alcoholic..pissed at his girl and put his arm through a window. My son was 7 months old when this happened. The glass severed the artery in his arm almost causing him to die. At this point he was hospitalized and he was ordered to stay away from his girl. He was not arrested at this time but there is a police report that I have a copy of. There was also a temporary protective order placed at this time. At the court hearing...she dropped all charges but the state picked it up and placed him on probation.

They stay together then in December 2011 they split up..April 2012 he gets arrested again. He evidently was following her every where and she said began stalking her. She moved in with her family and her Dad caught him in front of her house trying to see if he could see her. She claimed he was following her around every where. So on this night that he got caught at her house he caused a huge ruckus and her dad called the police. He was drunk again. He sped out of her driveway, ran a red light, hit another car and took off. He ended up in a gas station parking lot and a police passing by happened to spot him and his truck. Stopped and asked what he was doing and he told the police he thought he hit a deer. So the officer asked him to step out of his truck and when he did..he fell out of the truck from being so drunk. When the police offer realized he was drunk he placed him under arrest. Ended up being charged with stalking, disorderly conduct, dui and something else...can't remember. So he ends up doing a week in jail...going to court and has a protective order placed against him so he can't see the girlfriend or his daughter. Eventually, like a week later she the girlfriend comes and talks to him claiming how sorry she was and how she would again drop charges. Which she did and he was placed on probation again.

Time goes on and here we are in April 2013...they are still together. I guess they were having a "date" night from what I understand and he got pissed of( drunk again)f at her because he could not get "off". So he grabbed her by the neck and slammed her. She was able to get up and get stuff to try and leave. He again grabs her by the throat and starts choking her. She kicked him in the balls to get away. Calls 911. Police come out and he is arrested for domestic violence. He was bonded out but this probation re-arrested him on probation violation since he was still on probation from 2012. He has been in jail since April 6th but is being released May 25th. They are still together and she plans to drop charges again when he goes to court on June 5th..

I absolutely do not want him around my son. I found out that while he was with my son he was getting drunk and passing out. Just rediculous stuff that I had no clue about.

My son is my world and I ABSOLUTELY do not want him around his father. I have copies of all the police reports. I want to show that he is unstable and so is she. I get along with her but think she is crazy for staying with him through all of this. It took me a long time to be able to forgive her and get along but I do it because she is the mother of my sons sister. He keeps telling me that there is no way in Hell that I will keep my son from him but yet I have 100% custody.

It hurts me to have to do this but I do not know what else to do. Do you think I even have a chance of a judge dissolving his visitations if I prove how unstable he is? I wonder if I can get a temporary protective order?

I mean he can't even keep a job, has no car...except hers, home...nothing...does not ever pay child support. I am just petrified of him trying to take my son from me.

The closer his release date gets here the sicker I get to my stomach.

I just need any advice and I am sorry so long. I am just so scared!!!!

Oh and I have no criminal background whatsoever!! He has a rap sheet pages and pages long. But I was told that a judge would only care about what happened since we were legally seperated. Gosh this sucks.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 20, 2013 at 4:28 PM
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Replies (1-2):
by on May. 20, 2013 at 4:34 PM
1 mom liked this

You need an attorney to advise you on this.  All the police reports and the fact that he doesn't pay child support will help you, but ultimately it will be up to a judge.  If he is making threats, yes you may be able to get a protective order for your son against him.  Seriously, go get an attorney now!!  This dude is bad news and you don't want your son around him.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 4:39 PM
1 mom liked this

That's terrifying. Call your lawer. I would think, given his history and violent behaivor a good judge would agree with you, but I don't know the law.

I do know what my Mama gut says & it says keep that nut job away from your kid.

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