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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Every.fu*****. night!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 33 Replies
I'm loosing my ever lasting mind with my DS (almost 5) and bedtime!

I absolutely despise it. He will fight me to the death for over a damm hour...EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. You'd figure I'd get a lucky night where it's only a 20 minute battle. NO!! Tonight it was an hour and a half.

The problem is, I have to sit in his room the entire time. I'm so tired of not being able to read him the books, tuck him in and give hugs and kisses and leave. Instead, if that were to happen, he wouldn't stay in his room.

It's a NIGHTMARE trying to put him to sleep if I don't stay in. I'm talking, me having to hold the door knob on the other side with him on the opposite, kicking and screaming. This literally can go on for up to 5 hours.....trust me, I tried and I about shot myself!

He is sooooooo damn spoiled from my mom. I had to have him sleep in my bed when we moved back and I hated it. I don't like co-sleeping but we had to make do. When we got his bed back, I had to fight for months for him to consider sleeping in it. I've worked so hard to keep him out of my bed and be a big boy and sleep alone. He has a monitor in his room that if he needs me in the night to call for me and I'd be right in. This prevents him from getting up to climb in my bed. Unfortunately, I became sneaky and never called for me and just went into my mom and dads bed.

I'm back to square one! My mom always keeps taking him into her bed after he's asleep in his and that's kind of like a "bribe tool" for her that no longer works. When my dad was in the hospital for 4 days, every night she'd take him before bed to her bed. Then, they went on vacation on Mother's Day weekend and again, 3 days, she slept in the bed with her. I come to find out after DS came home from his dads, his dad lets him sleep in his and his GF's bed!

I'm in a battle that I can't seem to win!!!!!!

Between that and him refusing to go to sleep even when I stay in his room, I'm loosing my mind!

I'm thinking naps are about to be a thing of the past because he will not go to sleep at night! At school, he has 2-1hr play times outside and when he comes home, we play outside for another hour to hour and a half. Bath, dinner, 30 mins of TV to relax, teeth, story time and bed.....I make it very, very structured on purpose but he still fights it.

I have 2 more days of this and he graduates pre-k tomorrow and starts Summer Camp on Thursday. Once camp starts, zero nap so I'm hoping he'll be tired enough to stop this fighting because mommy is ready to check out!

Any help will be grateful!!
Posted by Anonymous on May. 20, 2013 at 10:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bossyjossy
by Member on May. 20, 2013 at 10:51 PM
Good luck, that sounds awful. Sorry no advise to give, we had to co sleep for a bit and it ruined bedtime for a while. I started by sleeping with her then just sitting with her. Then I moved to a chair in the room anf not on her bed. Got to the point where she would very it out for an hour or so but your problem is other people not what you are doing. No one can give in to the kiddo. Good luck
KristenFowles
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 10:52 PM

 Have you tried a strict routine?

Like.. maybe start with a 15-30 minutes of TV, bathtime, book, then bed? EVERY night.. so he has time to prepare himself for bed.. and knows it's coming..

I'm sure it won't work immediately.. but maybe sooner than if you keep going through this?

CaiZobug
by on May. 20, 2013 at 10:59 PM

I think to beable to break him is if everyone goes along with it not just you. Have you tried a little longer cool down time? Other then that I really don't have any other adivce. Good Luck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 20, 2013 at 11:03 PM
That's what I do. Playtime outside from 4-5/5:30. Bath from 5:30-6:00, start dinner, too. Eat until 7. 30 mins of tv then TV goes off. Tooth brush time, go potty, etc. Read books until 8p and lights out.



Quoting KristenFowles:

 Have you tried a strict routine?


Like.. maybe start with a 15-30 minutes of TV, bathtime, book, then bed? EVERY night.. so he has time to prepare himself for bed.. and knows it's coming..


I'm sure it won't work immediately.. but maybe sooner than if you keep going through this?

KristenFowles
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 11:03 PM

 I just don't know..

I do know that I have a 5 and 6 year old.. and they haven't napped for YEARS.. so taking the nap out may not be such a bad idea..

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I do. Playtime outside from 4-5/5:30. Bath from 5:30-6:00, start dinner, too. Eat until 7. 30 mins of tv then TV goes off. Tooth brush time, go potty, etc. Read books until 8p and lights out.



Quoting KristenFowles:

 Have you tried a strict routine?


Like.. maybe start with a 15-30 minutes of TV, bathtime, book, then bed? EVERY night.. so he has time to prepare himself for bed.. and knows it's coming..


I'm sure it won't work immediately.. but maybe sooner than if you keep going through this?

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 20, 2013 at 11:08 PM
I know and my mother gives me condescending little snippits, here and there about me being "mean" or "not fair" or tonight was my personal favorite:

"Every time he turns around, you gotta holler at him."

I about flipped my shit tonight bc I DO feel like a horrible mom because I even feel like I'm constantly on his ass but I just told her that every single thing he's been doing these past few days is either, on purpose breaking the rules, no listening to what I've asked him to do 3 times before, back talking or getting an attitude and I mean EVERYTHING. I told her that if everyone was on my side for a change, I wouldn't be loosing control of my kid and him refusing to listen to me because I'm not as "fun" as everyone else who lets them get his way or comes to his rescue.

It hurts bc I try so hard with him but I get nothing from anyone else. If I mention anything to my XH, he'll purposefully do what I've asked him not to.

Quoting CaiZobug:

I think to beable to break him is if everyone goes along with it not just you. Have you tried a little longer cool down time? Other then that I really don't have any other adivce. Good Luck. 

Schauseil
by Gold Member on May. 20, 2013 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this
well first you have to put the thing with the grand parents to an end. No ifs ands or buts. Also, Spank the kid. Let him come out of his room and tell him that if he doesn't march right back to bed and shut up you are going to spank him and put him back in there yourself. Then spank him every time he comes out of his room. You don't have to spank him hard, in fact I would say not to. Pain is a great deterent and kids won't do things that they KNOW is going to cause pain. After the first few times his little butt will be sore enough that he won't dare come out of his room. And you can trust that he will stop before reaching his breaking point and that little butt will be just fine in the morning.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 20, 2013 at 11:10 PM
5 is really old for a nap. I would eliminate that. Does he have other behavior problems or just bedtime?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 20, 2013 at 11:12 PM


Wow, just wow ! Real nice mom here !

Quoting Schauseil:

well first you have to put the thing with the grand parents to an end. No ifs ands or buts. Also, Spank the kid. Let him come out of his room and tell him that if he doesn't march right back to bed and shut up you are going to spank him and put him back in there yourself. Then spank him every time he comes out of his room. You don't have to spank him hard, in fact I would say not to. Pain is a great deterent and kids won't do things that they KNOW is going to cause pain. After the first few times his little butt will be sore enough that he won't dare come out of his room. And you can trust that he will stop before reaching his breaking point and that little butt will be just fine in the morning.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 20, 2013 at 11:14 PM
I have required him to take naps, lol. He's one of those who was okay with them and I enjoyed taking them, too when I could. They have been way more beneficial to him than a hinderance. He is one of those kids where when he starts misbehaving, that is your sign he needs to go to sleep.

If it's not due to him having a nap then my second guess is that he's just overly exhausted and never can catch up on his sleep.

At his dads house, he has zero structure. His dad just lets him do whatever and stay up until whenever and puts him in his room with the TV on and let him fall asleep whenever he feels like it. He doesn't nap there, he is constantly dragged all over the place and made to stay up until wee hours. I can't catch him up anymore than I am.

Quoting KristenFowles:

 I just don't know..


I do know that I have a 5 and 6 year old.. and they haven't napped for YEARS.. so taking the nap out may not be such a bad idea..


Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I do. Playtime outside from 4-5/5:30. Bath from 5:30-6:00, start dinner, too. Eat until 7. 30 mins of tv then TV goes off. Tooth brush time, go potty, etc. Read books until 8p and lights out.




Quoting KristenFowles:


 Have you tried a strict routine?



Like.. maybe start with a 15-30 minutes of TV, bathtime, book, then bed? EVERY night.. so he has time to prepare himself for bed.. and knows it's coming..



I'm sure it won't work immediately.. but maybe sooner than if you keep going through this?


 

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